I don't like giving oral to my SO and haven't in a long time. When I give oral he takes full control and I can hardly breathe because his hands are pushing my head so hard. He will say stuff like "Fucking relax already" or "You're making this hard." He's in general an irritable person but this makes me scared and my throat tenses up which makes him try harder. I can't move my head or he'll get more irritated.
I can't talk to him about it because I did once and he said I needed to get over it and said something like "Well you better train on a dildo then." I haven't bought it up since and we don't have sex other than when he wants head. And he usually guilts me into giving it.