Is this just my husband? A bit fed up but unsure how to approach

[Nonevah]

Whenever we have some free time, DH fixates on a job that he decides needs doing and will not rest until it is done.

So today for example he decides the lawns need mowing (very big garden) - fine. But then it takes up the entire day, trying to get the lawnmower to work and it won’t, buying a new lawnmower then actually mowing the lawns. Meanwhile, I’m left in sole charge of a two year old whose behaviour gets steadily worse and worse throughout the day because he’s desperately trying to interact with his dad and being ignored in favour of lawns.

In retrospect I wish I’d just gone out somewhere with the toddler but we’ve such a full weekend I wanted a quieter day. It’s quite hurtful being just sort of left.

I don’t know if I’m making much sense, is it just me?

Did he actually really want to have children in the first place? Or did he like the concept, but doesn't like the reality?

I never liked either, so didn't have any. Threads like these make me so grateful I didn't. Life is hard enough without having to put with daily bullshit from another adult and raise children.

You are the default parent. He gets to control his own time, both leisure and "jobs", but you do not as you have children to look after, unless you book his services in advance. Absolute bullshit and shouldn't be tolerated.

Say this to him

The thing is, we can all recognise that feeling of not wanting to play with our toddlers and doing something else. It’s just that we force ourselves to play with the toddler. I think rather than bashing this man, it could be interesting to talk to him about how it feels when his child is asking to play with him, and why he ends up avoiding. It could be an interesting conversation and enlightening for him if approached in an understanding way.