Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How does it make you feel when your dp checks out other women?

100 replies

Lifeafternarcabuse · 30/04/2023 20:03

That's it really guys....how do you feel when your dp checks out other women in front of you?

Noticed my dp doing it a few times and everytime I kind of feel abit shit....nothing major but it gets to me and makes me question myself.... just wanted to compare my feelings with others really .... thanks all

OP posts:
OhwhyOY · 30/04/2023 20:04

It doesn't bother me at all, it's a natural behaviour, as long as it's subtle and not some disgusting leer.

SamPoodle123 · 30/04/2023 20:06

I have never noticed this tbh. I think I would be annoyed, as there is a thing as being discreet.

TheEarlofButties · 30/04/2023 20:08

I’d normally agree with him and say ‘wow, she’s beautiful’ depends how he did it but I think it’s a natural thing for men and women to notice someone good looking

YouAreNotBatman · 30/04/2023 20:09

I would never be with a man like that.
I always feel grossed out by the man and sorry for their partner when I see couples like this out and about.

FuoriComeUnBalcone · 30/04/2023 20:10

My DH has never done this in front of me. I'd find it pretty disrespectful tbh.

I check out attractive guys but never in front of DH.

Mustardandchickensandwiches · 30/04/2023 20:13

He never has, because he has manners.

Kanaloa · 30/04/2023 20:15

What do you mean ‘checking out?’ I find men who leer or stare at women a bit grotesque so I’d find him a bit grotesque. I never even ‘checked out’ people I was actually hopeful to date. I just smiled and then tried to start a conversation rather than leering from a distance.

wildfirewonder · 30/04/2023 20:16

I would find it disrespectful if I was aware. Think what you like in your head, but 'checking out' sounds very obvious and therefore disrespectful - both to you and the poor person getting leered at!

arethereanyleftatall · 30/04/2023 20:17

He wouldn't be my dp.

humus · 30/04/2023 20:19

Don’t do it, don’t expect my partner too either.

CatNamedBob · 30/04/2023 20:20

He doesn't. It's sleazy and disrespectful to me and to the other woman.

When I was young and hot (those days are behind me now!) I was always grossed out by men checking me out when with their parter and felt bad for the partner.

Kanaloa · 30/04/2023 20:20

TheEarlofButties · 30/04/2023 20:08

I’d normally agree with him and say ‘wow, she’s beautiful’ depends how he did it but I think it’s a natural thing for men and women to notice someone good looking

Hopefully this would be done away from the person. The only thing I’d find more uncomfortable than a man ‘checking me out’ would be his wife or partner commenting on my appearance right after.

HeadNorth · 30/04/2023 20:21

Been married 30years, never noticed my DH ‘checking out’ out women. That sounds grim.

ScottBakula · 30/04/2023 20:24

I think it depends on the way he does it , a glance then looking away after a second or two fine , staring , stepping into there way / space nope !

Me and my DH would very subtlety point out anyone that we thought the othe may find attractive

sheeplikessleep · 30/04/2023 20:24

I think it depends on what you mean by ‘checking out’. Checking out in terms of staring and prolonged looking, grim (I assume that’s what you mean by checking out).

Checking out in terms of noticed, quick one off ‘noticed’ glance but then not staring in a prolonged way, not an issue.

TheEarlofButties · 30/04/2023 20:26

@Kanaloa lol, yeah definitely not in earshot. I’m not sure what constitutes ‘checking out’ though, if his head swivelled, he looked her up and down or stopped conversation to stare open mouthed I’d have an issue. A pretty face catching his eye would not bother me at all.

Original poster
Lifeafternarcabuse · 30/04/2023 20:26

Sorry for those who asked...checking out as in looking then looking away and then looking again sort of thing...
When I've asked my dp about it or brought it up I get the "I didn't even see a women there" bs

OP posts:
AllOfThemWitches · 30/04/2023 20:27

Mine would have to be a fucking idiot to do that in front of me.

Moonface31 · 30/04/2023 20:29

I used to have one that did that. Ew. Back into the sea he went 🤮

mosiacmaker · 30/04/2023 20:30

My current DP has never done this in front of me and I love him for it. exh would check women out and it was awful.

Booklover40 · 30/04/2023 20:33

In 20 years I’ve honestly never noticed dh checking out any woman. I’m sure he must occasionally look at another woman and think she’s attractive, as I do with men, but I’ve never been aware of it.

If you are aware of him doing it it must be pretty blatant and that would give me the ick massively.

wombridgewalkabout · 30/04/2023 20:35

Mustardandchickensandwiches · 30/04/2023 20:13

He never has, because he has manners.

This frankly. Its just massively rude to check out other people when you are with your partner. Do it in your own time not when you are with your partner.

AtrociousCircumstance · 30/04/2023 20:37

He’s never done that in my presence, ever, because he has respect for me and our relationship.

wombridgewalkabout · 30/04/2023 20:37

And OP, I would not date a man who did this. In fact, I stopped dating the man who did this.

Passmethewine23 · 30/04/2023 20:38

My partner doesn't have the best eye sight and would really have to squint to check someone out! For this I am so thankful as I'd be gutted too!

Swipe left for the next trending thread