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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do you miss your other half when you’re not with them?

103 replies

Napoleandynamite · 28/04/2023 17:13

For short periods like when you’re at work, but also if you were away from each other for a week?

I’ve just spent a week away from dh and didn’t miss him a jot, which shocked me! Was glad to see him when I got home don’t get me wrong but now wondering if it’s a sign of something bigger…

OP posts:
Tilliemolly · 28/04/2023 17:15

That's sad, don't understand how you could not miss him.
What did you do for the week apart?

dietcokelime · 28/04/2023 17:16

I miss my DH when he travels for work or I do! Even a night away means I miss him 😂

ToBeOrNotToBee · 28/04/2023 17:18

We're you that busy you didn't have time to miss them?

Napoleandynamite · 28/04/2023 17:19

I used to miss him all the time.
Yes I was busy and enjoying myself but even when I was on my phone I never really had the urge to text/call. That sounds awful now just typing it out!

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 28/04/2023 17:20

Sometimes I do, sometimes I enjoy the space.

I don’t think it’s a sign of anything sinister.

Napoleandynamite · 28/04/2023 17:24

Thanks @TheLightSideOfTheMoon glad to hear it

OP posts:
ThisIsWhyWeCantHaveNiceThings · 28/04/2023 17:26

I used to HATE being away from my husband. Like, I would actively avoid ever having to be away from him, it made me feel physically sick. But 16 years in, I don't mind really, wouldn't say I missed him. But, I do feel weird going to bed without him there, so maybe that does count as missing him. We aren't apart much, just the odd night or weekend I go visit friends.

Dery · 28/04/2023 17:28

I love my DH but we spend a great deal of time together so, no, I don’t miss him
on the rare occasions we spend time apart and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t miss me. We’re usually busy with other things and people and know that we will be seeing each other again very soon in any case.

I don’t think it means anything that you don’t miss him. On the other hand, if you found yourself not wanting to return at the end of your period apart and wishing you could continue apart - that’s when I would start to worry. But not otherwise.

Cakencookieobsessed · 28/04/2023 17:28

We've never had a night apart and I'm glad. I would hate to be away from him for a week. I don't really miss him during the day when he's at work as I like time to myself, but I look forward to him coming home and I'm always glad to see him.

Watchkeys · 28/04/2023 17:29

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 28/04/2023 17:20

Sometimes I do, sometimes I enjoy the space.

I don’t think it’s a sign of anything sinister.

I'd agree with this, too. Don't worry, if you're relationship is otherwise fine; it could also be a sign of feeling very secure.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 28/04/2023 17:29

Sometimes I do, other times I don't. Just depends on my mood and for how long really! A few nights, no.. anything longer than 7 days then yes.

Recycledblonde · 28/04/2023 17:29

I've been happily married for 33 years and don't miss DH in the slightest when he goes away, I did when the children were small but that was probably because I missed another adult around to wrangle them. Now it's just me and the dogs and I can eat pizza in bed, watch back to back NCIS and read in peace for hours. I like it when he comes back and wouldn't like it if he was away for months but I enjoy time apart too.

CoctailsNeeded · 28/04/2023 17:29

My partner sometimes works away and to be honest I like it when he's not here because I have the bed to myself, can watch my programmes etc.
But I do like to keep in touch/ text/ call as i miss him, which he found strange when we first got together as his ex would go a week without contacting him.

OlivesAreNice · 28/04/2023 17:34

No, I don't. It's good to have separate things going on and actually enjoy them without missing the other person. Then come together after and you have new things to talk about.

I feel really sorry for people who "miss" their partner when they're only gone for a night.

emmetgirl · 28/04/2023 17:35

Even for one night! And we work together too.

Isis1981uk · 28/04/2023 17:35

Yes, but I've had to learn how to cope with it as he works away at sea 4 months at a time, often out of phone signal.

heidihigh · 28/04/2023 17:38

Yeah, not in the sense that I miss him when we're both at work because I know usually we spend the evenings together but if he's away overnight for work etc then yes I do miss him. Not his snoring though Hmm I'd definitely miss him after a week!

thefactsarefriendly · 28/04/2023 17:40

I miss my partner, yes, but it wouldn't stop either of us doing our own thing now and again. We both actively look forward to snuggling into bed each night, though.

Arginalia · 28/04/2023 17:42

Not for a day or so but certainly if apart overnight or longer.

elm26 · 28/04/2023 17:43

Love my DH to bits but on the odd occasion he's gone away for a few nights for a stag do or work I wouldn't say I miss him, I look forward to him coming home but it's so infrequent I enjoy the bed and TV to myself 😂

If he was gone for a week+ I think I would.

I think it's healthy to spend time alone/have space etc.

Watchkeys · 28/04/2023 17:43

OlivesAreNice · 28/04/2023 17:34

No, I don't. It's good to have separate things going on and actually enjoy them without missing the other person. Then come together after and you have new things to talk about.

I feel really sorry for people who "miss" their partner when they're only gone for a night.

Why do you feel sorry for them? It's not an ailment.

wibblewobbleball · 28/04/2023 17:44

Depends to be honest. Covid coincided with my first child, and now I've got two so two lots of mat leave plus lockdowns in 3 years... I've seen a lot of DH!! I might not miss him if he's away or if I am, because actually I'll be enjoying being away or being alone. But I'm always so happy to see him when I or he return!

Dery · 28/04/2023 17:45

Agree with @Watchkeys - I think this is probably a sign of feeling very secure in the relationship, and you know you’re going to be reunited very soon in any case. Time apart can be really good for a couple.

OlivesAreNice · 28/04/2023 17:45

Watchkeys because missing someone isn't a nice feeling.

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 28/04/2023 17:46

Short term then no, I look forward to seeing him at the end of the day, but I would if he was away for a week, or even a long weekend.