I've done something insane for a 38-year old woman - found and bought the signature fragrance of my crush

[BrokeAssLookingBitch]

I have a crush on a bloke.

He always smells great, really great. Not like aftershave great. It's not a smell I'd ever been able to pinpoint to being a particular thing he uses like a soap or fragrance or even laundry detergent.

It's just like a generally nice aroma - clean, fresh, kind of warm.

He takes good care of himself so I always assumed it was a nice body spray or lotion or whatever. But it's never felt quite right to actually ask what he uses that makes him smell so good. We're friends but that'd be a very weird conversation.

Anyhow, yesterday I was having a big old browse in the posh body care section at Boots to spend some vouchers I received at Christmas. And I found the smell. His smell. His exact smell. Bottled up all neat and tidy in a little tub of body cream.

So I bought the body cream. And now I'm wearing the body cream. And I can't get any bloody work done because I can't concentrate.

I have form for this kind of behaviour. When I was 14, I found out that a boy I liked used Aussie shampoo. So I convinced my mum to buy me some Aussie shampoo because Sugar magazine had said how great it was for teenage hair.

But I was 14 at the time. And we all do mad stuff when we have a crush at 14. But I'm not 14 now. I'm 38. I'm a professional, level-headed woman. But here I am huffing my own arm like its fucking amyl nitrite.

Large parts of me are cringing at my ridiculous teenage behaviour. It seemed such a good idea at the time when I was swept up in the excitement of the moment. But now I'm sat at my desk smelling like a bloke I want to bang wondering what the hell I was thinking.

Tell me you've also done insane and cringe things when you've had the crush blinkers on.

Can't believe you actually said the 'G' word. I thought we were using 'meterosexual' on this thread as a euphemism.

He's not gay. Or be-partnered.

I'm not 100% certain he actually uses this cream. He may use a concoction of other non-gay products which arrive at a similar fragrance. But its bloody uncanny. And, as I said upthread, I can't ask him now.

There was an open tester pot at the front of the shelf for easy smelling.

@MrsTerryPratchett that’s amazing. One question though, is he not confirmed metrosexual?

@BrokeAssLookingBitch

"I'm not 100% certain he actually uses this cream. He may use a concoction of other non-gay products which arrive at a similar fragrance. But its bloody uncanny. And, as I said upthread, I can't ask him now."

My money's on him using the shower gel that smells like it that someone mentioned up thread... admittedly I hang around with the least metrosexual men on the planet, but the likelihood of a man I know slapping on Bum Bum cream moisturiser is approaching zero... in fact, many I'm just itching to slap some moisturiser on them as they look so dry and in need of a facial (I do restrain myself).

And on the strength of this thread (and a PP saying it really firmed up their thighs and arms) I've now gone and bought a (smallish) tub... I'm a marketing dream, me... I will let you know who/what it reminds me of when it arrives... maybe it will be my Proustian Bum Bum cream, too...

And on the strength of this thread (and a PP saying it really firmed up their thighs and arms) I've now gone and bought a (smallish) tub... I'm a marketing dream, me... I will let you know who/what it reminds me of when it arrives... maybe it will be my Proustian Bum Bum cream, too...*

I'm tempted to try some too. I've seen it before I'm sure, if it's the one in a spherical, orange tub.

Not sure that I’d want to buy this over the counter. I can’t see asking anyone for some “bum cream” please.

You'd be handed some nappy cream.

Or preparation H!

No way is a straight man wearing bum bum cream. Ask him what it is- tell him you’d like to get your brother some. LMAO if it’s some new Lynx product.

@Flyinggeesei234 I can confirm that he was undiscerning about the sex of the other person in the 00s.

@BrokeAssLookingBitch Look Fantastic have a little travel case of this with body spray, if you think you need to take it out and about with you

I've had it in my basket for a week and i think I'm going to go for it. Why not eh.

Sauvage is a different scent to Eau Sauvage.

LOL 😂

Eh?

Just looked it up,so it is! Thank you. I'll have to go and have a sniff of that, as it's described as " raw and noble at the same time"!

He may use a concoction of other non-gay products which arrive at a similar fragrance.

😂

Years later I realised it was BO and cigarettes

@BrokeAssLookingBitch That's not necessarily 100% bad- obviously it wasn't at vile levels if you fancied him.

It could have a very masculine and maybe also a 'bit of rough' type vibe.

I went into Boots today to get a sniff of this bum bum cream. Had to ask a store assistant to show me to it, but she told me they don't stock it. Then she told me it seems to be very popular and they've had lots of people in asking about it I almost directed her to this thread!

How can a cream firm you up? That is crazy. Is this one of those PR threads?

Is biology no longer taught in school?

@TooooBusy - I'm going to apply it after 20 minutes on the cross trainer. I'm sure it will work 😉

@Tealsofa - it was an attempt at a joke because of what she said she did after watching the leather clad bloke walk across the car park...

i spent ages trying to work it out!! haha

@Tealsofa - yup, even when I was writing it I thought it was a bit oblique 😂😳

It runs the lotion on its skin ...