What did I do wrong? Getting silent treatment

[Muddleground]

My DH is not talking to me.
I have 2 children and he has 1. All with us this wknd.
He told me this weekend was all about me and my children and I wasn't very inclusive. I've asked what I could've done differently for future reference, but am receiving the silent treatment.

Friday, picked my 2 up from school as normal, took 1 for a hair cut, i did ask his son if he wanted haircut too, dropped the youngest at grandparents while i went food shopping as they live near supermarket, went to pet shop for dog food, then the 3 of us arrived home at about 6.45, much later than normal. We take weekly turns to go food shopping but he said he was busy with work so I offered to go to save him some time.

Saturday morning took 1 of mine for a medical appointment, his went to football.
I suggested when we are all home by lunchtime we have a day out, which we did, the 5 of us, had dinner out too, all seemed to have a lovely time. Good quality family time I thought.

Sunday, I was due to take his son to football as I do most weeks, however my son wanted to go out with friends which meant he needed dropping off. The times clashed a bit so I suggested his mum takes him and I meet them there. His mum always comes anyway, and lives very close by.
DH said he wanted to log onto laptop and do some work sunday morning, so I said I'd see if grandparents wanted to spend some time with my youngest, 10, again while we're out and hes working. They are close and haven't seen much recently.

Seems like a balanced weekend to me. I'm clearly missing something but don't know what.

What am I missing? What have I done to deserve this? What wasn't inclusive?

Oh so everything has to be on his terms and you have to ask for permission to do anything he hadn't suggested? Tosser.

He's abusive and unreasonable. Is that the relationship model you want for your children? Because they're absorbing every bit of this.

So he hasn't taken any responsibility at all?? He insists that it's all your fault? And wtf does he think you should have said instead of "I'm going to be late back on Friday because of xyz"? Does he think you should have asked his permission to get these useful jobs done?

This is NOT your fault.

The reason we are all telling you this, is because many of us have been there. It is patterns, and we recognise them as we know what they look like. We know the language.

I started by looking at Web pages on narcissistic abuse, but any website with information on emotional abuse will set it out for you. You will recognise it.

He sounds like an arch manipulator. Stand your ground. He needs to grow up or fuck off.

People who give you the silent treatment are unable to communicate like normal human beings, he should have grown out of sulking age 5 so he must have been rewarded for it in some way by his parents, maybe they gave him loads of extra attention or something.
I would completely ignore it and just say when you feel like communicating like a normal adult then we will discuss it and keep going about your business.
I have zero time for silent sulkers.

So you do all the childcare and yet still got it wrong.

If he thought he could do better then surely he could just have pulled his finger out and done it?

You can't win against men like this.

He's deliberately designed the arguement so that you can't win. I imagine he's done that because he feels inadequate and, as is a classic move with twits of this calibre, has had to turn it round and place nonexistent blame on to you. You've done nothing wrong.

Then it’s time to get those duckies lined up. He’s going to like how direct you are even less isn’t he? Lazy, entitled bastard. He’s going to just adore being single isn’t he? Please stop running around after his child, no matter how much you love him. This dickhead is going to have to reacquaint himself with his offspring and how to parent from now on. You need a solicitor. Imagine how free you’re going to be without all the drama and only you and your DC to manage! (Plus time off when ex has access!)

I'm quoting myself because your update has made it even more relevant, @Muddleground

Him convincing you you are the problem, which I say again you're not, should not stop you wanting to end the relationship. We learn the hard way, these fuckers are extremely convincing - please stop believing him.

This isn’t going to end well. I suspect he will continue with these behaviours. He can’t stop. It’s normal for him at the moment. You will probably become more stressed and embittered towards him. Think about what you want. If he doesn’t recognise his responsibility here , how can he change and how can you continue to play the role of submissive partner?

You were organised and communicated your plans clearly. You just weren't deferential enough. He sees himself as Lord and Master and you must bow to him at all times.

And fuck that. It's not you, it's him. Start lining up those ducks.