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Original poster

Strange behaviour

101 replies

Austrianmilk · 18/04/2023 20:27

I've had to name change for this as frankly I'm quite embarrassed for anyone IRL finding out.
Been married for 12 years, together for 15. Both have children from previous marriages. OH is older than me and retired at 50 and has worked part time for the last 8 years. He is quite reserved, no hobbies and is pretty much glued to the TV/YouTube whereas I've a good circle of friends so there's always a coffee and catch up or a gym class to go along to. I've also got siblings so again there's maybe the odd shopping day/birthday afternoon tea type thing.
We have a family calendar and all appointments etc are put under each person's name. I was updating May and noticed these little circles at the side on various dates. I decided to look back through the calendar and yet more little circles, again only against certain dates.
It transpires that these are ONLY against dates when I've say met a pal for a brew or been to a baby shower type thing. So OH has literally been keeping count of every "social" event I have ever been to this year! Bear in mind I've not been "out out", I don't drink alcohol, have a demanding job and still have my son at home who I spend a lot of time with etc. I'm also a carer to my remaining parent so get very little "me" time as it is. Now I feel like I can't arrange or say "yes" to an invite again.
Does anyone else think this is odd behaviour??

OP posts:
Needanewnamebeingwatched · 18/04/2023 20:29

How do you know each circle means he is free to meet someone else?

Worldgonecrazy · 18/04/2023 20:32

Ask him why he is noting this? Is it historic or are future dates included? I agree it’s very weird.

Original poster
Austrianmilk · 18/04/2023 20:34

Worldgonecrazy · 18/04/2023 20:32

Ask him why he is noting this? Is it historic or are future dates included? I agree it’s very weird.

I will definitely be asking him later on this evening...just wondering if anyone else thinks it is odd.
It's historic, literally since January.
I've checked for June and I've a night away and that has a circle next to it too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Austrianmilk · 18/04/2023 20:35

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 18/04/2023 20:29

How do you know each circle means he is free to meet someone else?

Well there is that yes... however sometimes I've say met a friend for coffee on a Saturday morning and he has been walking the dog with my son...still a circle.

OP posts:
thistimelastweek · 18/04/2023 20:38

It is odd but why would you let it stop you from going out?

samantha0709 · 18/04/2023 20:40

Odd. Does he seem to resent you having a life away from him and the home?

Mamapiggywig · 18/04/2023 20:40

Perhaps he likes to carve out his alone time? Are the circles put there in advance , like by a month or two? When my dh is going out I mark in my diary that I have girlie movie night with my DDs.

orangegato · 18/04/2023 20:40

Yeah that’s batshit. Call it out.

Original poster
Austrianmilk · 18/04/2023 20:45

Mamapiggywig · 18/04/2023 20:40

Perhaps he likes to carve out his alone time? Are the circles put there in advance , like by a month or two? When my dh is going out I mark in my diary that I have girlie movie night with my DDs.

They're literally only against anything I've put on there relating to an event type thing. So say I've the dentist there's nothing. If I've a step class there's a circle.

OP posts:
Errmmmmmmmmmmm · 18/04/2023 20:48

I agree, very strange. I'd be interested to hear his reasoning!

TomatoSandwiches · 18/04/2023 20:50

Start putting triangles next to the circles and see if he notices.

FinallyHere · 18/04/2023 20:50

Maybe he missed you ?

Stratocumulus · 18/04/2023 20:53

He might want to use it against you some time in the future? It’s really odd and could be a control mechanism in waiting?
At first I did think it was a marker so he could get away to be elsewhere but clearly not if he walks the dog with your son during that time.
I wouldn’t be able to rest until I’d asked him about it. Good luck. I hope the outcome is innocent & doesn't spark a row.

LadyHag · 18/04/2023 20:54

Get the same pen and circle every day of the year so he can't spot his own circles.

Then tell him to stop being a dick and get a life.

FictionalCharacter · 18/04/2023 20:57

LadyHag · 18/04/2023 20:54

Get the same pen and circle every day of the year so he can't spot his own circles.

Then tell him to stop being a dick and get a life.

Perfect! 😁

BringtheJury · 18/04/2023 20:58

If he's counting how many social events you've been to, why does he need to put a circle when he can literally just count your calendar entries iyswim . Very odd .

RuppyDa · 18/04/2023 20:58

Why does he need to circle anything if the event is on the calendar anyway?

Attractedtotheofflimits · 18/04/2023 20:59

LadyHag · 18/04/2023 20:54

Get the same pen and circle every day of the year so he can't spot his own circles.

Then tell him to stop being a dick and get a life.

Brilliant!!

Original poster
Austrianmilk · 18/04/2023 20:59

LadyHag · 18/04/2023 20:54

Get the same pen and circle every day of the year so he can't spot his own circles.

Then tell him to stop being a dick and get a life.

Sorry that really made 😂

OP posts:
AreYouHavingAGiraffeNoItsACamel · 18/04/2023 21:00

Draw another circle then a sausage between the two

Original poster
Austrianmilk · 18/04/2023 21:01

So I've blanked out a family member's name but hope this makes it a little clearer.

Strange behaviour
OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 18/04/2023 21:03

Very strange OP, I have no idea.

BringtheJury · 18/04/2023 21:03

How peculiar! Definitely put a circle on the rest of the days .
I'm dying to know why he's doing this.

BringtheJury · 18/04/2023 21:05

It's a bit creepy actually.

Specso · 18/04/2023 21:09

I’m really trying to think of reasons someone might do that. The only really obvious ones are to either total them up for some strange reason or to mark when you won’t be around to get up to something secretly but you’ve said he’s often with your son at those times.

Maybe I’m overly suspicious though and there will be some other reason that makes sense when he explains it. Really curious to know the reason now!

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