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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can we talk age gaps - how big is yours if you have one?

97 replies

davidtennantsmistress · 15/02/2008 13:58

XH was 6 months younger than me, but it was fine (he was immature at times yes but anyhow)

i've rencent met & rather like a chap who's a lot older (as in i'm 25 and he's 38). whilst previously I have chatted to people who have been 32-35 ish. it's always been quite casual and friendly, where as this chap is thinking 5/6 years ahead type thing, when he's 44/45 and i'm 30/31, and is worried about things - ie that really I'm after a young and buff man.

tbh i'm not bothered at all - if I was then I wouldn't be seeing him again, and have tried saying that I can't tell him where i'll be in 5 years time if even with him etc etc, but still he's worrying.

so do you ahve a gap an is is an issue?

OP posts:
Marne · 15/02/2008 14:02

Dh is 40 this year and i am 26 (today)

So almost 14 years

The age gap can be an issue, mainly as i would like a bigger family but dh is thinking he's to old and tierd to have any more. He also worries what the future may be like when hes 70 and i'm 56.

ZippiBabes · 15/02/2008 14:06

i don't think that is too bad but you are just dating him aren't you so see how it goes...if you aren't bothered i don't see why he should be

but is what he means that he is being realisditic and you will want someone younger and he is looking for a long term commitment like living together

i am seeing someone who is 20 years younger..but i realise the age gap apart from anything else means it won't be long term

davidtennantsmistress · 15/02/2008 14:06

I think that's where this bloke is coming from - that and he's worried what my dad will say.

OP posts:
ZippiBabes · 15/02/2008 14:06

i was with my ex for 8 years and he was nearly 11 years younger but he did eventually leave

davidtennantsmistress · 15/02/2008 14:09

I think he is zip - and at the mo i'm down wiht the dating him thing and having fun - but I did say to him last night I love having my own space, at the minute I don't want someone here in my house all of the time, but that's not to say that if things develop betwen us then i'd be happy to live with him etc I'm just looking to see what happens. he seems happy enough with that. he knows I have DS, and basically have said to him unless i'm totally 100% sure i'll not be moving in with anyone or doiong anything that fast as don't want DS to have loads of 'uncles'

OP posts:
davidtennantsmistress · 15/02/2008 14:10

you like the younger men! lol. I find them too immature! prefer the older men!

OP posts:
ZippiBabes · 15/02/2008 14:12

well he isn't that young he is 31

ZippiBabes · 15/02/2008 14:14

maybe we shpould swap

davidtennantsmistress · 15/02/2008 14:14

you're not 51 surely?? always had you down for a mid thirties.

OP posts:
ZippiBabes · 15/02/2008 14:15

i'm not 51 i am 50 lol

MrsMattie · 15/02/2008 14:15

Husband is 13 yrs older than me. I'm 30, he's 43. Has never been an issue - NEVER.

ZippiBabes · 15/02/2008 14:17

i said this to someone the other day i am sure it is a lot less of an issue with women being the younger ones than the other way round

ZippiBabes · 15/02/2008 14:17

it is more of an issue when you are my age

MrsMattie · 15/02/2008 14:19

I think you're right@Zippi. There is still very much a double standard in place. Pathetic, really.

davidtennantsmistress · 15/02/2008 14:20

still didn't think you were that old! lol.

how long have you been together mattie?

OP posts:
ZippiBabes · 15/02/2008 14:21

only as old as the man you feel barf

davidtennantsmistress · 15/02/2008 14:21

yeah I think so. def double standards - but I don't see how it's an issue - I mean it possibly would be for me if he was 60 or something at my age now but he's not - and 13 years is seriously not that much is it?

OP posts:
MrsMattie · 15/02/2008 14:22

We've been together 7 years this year - we were 24 / 37 when we met@davidtenanntsmistress

NatalieJane · 15/02/2008 14:23

13 years gap here as well, I am 24 he is 37, never been an issue, except when we first got together, I was 17 and he was 30, my mum wasn't best pleased, but she is used to it now.

ZippiBabes · 15/02/2008 14:23

i don't think it is

and i doubt you even look like an odd couple

i went with him last weekend round looking at lingerie and i could pracitcally se the asistants in j lewis gagging to comment to each other

davidtennantsmistress · 15/02/2008 14:24

lol. I said that to him (woman thou!) and he did laugh! lol.

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ZippiBabes · 15/02/2008 14:25

as you are the yoiunger one it is up to you to call it anyway

MrsMattie · 15/02/2008 14:26

lol@Zippi. Bet they were jealous as fuck!

davidtennantsmistress · 15/02/2008 14:31

agreed, prob were, and wanted to say - lucky B! lol.

it's nice thou that he actually knows how to treat a girl like a lady.

OP posts:
PeatBog · 15/02/2008 14:32

I was 29 and my dh 40 when we met and the age gap has never been an issue.

Having children is a different matter. I know he has found dd3 extremely tiring (he was 46 by the time we had her), but then he was the one wanting a large family, so I'm not particularly sympathetic

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