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Original poster

Can we talk age gaps - how big is yours if you have one?

97 replies

davidtennantsmistress · 15/02/2008 13:58

XH was 6 months younger than me, but it was fine (he was immature at times yes but anyhow)

i've rencent met & rather like a chap who's a lot older (as in i'm 25 and he's 38). whilst previously I have chatted to people who have been 32-35 ish. it's always been quite casual and friendly, where as this chap is thinking 5/6 years ahead type thing, when he's 44/45 and i'm 30/31, and is worried about things - ie that really I'm after a young and buff man.

tbh i'm not bothered at all - if I was then I wouldn't be seeing him again, and have tried saying that I can't tell him where i'll be in 5 years time if even with him etc etc, but still he's worrying.

so do you ahve a gap an is is an issue?

OP posts:
lillypie · 16/02/2008 07:31

There are 14 years between myself and DP, I am older.It's never been an issue.

NomDePlume · 16/02/2008 08:19

13.5 years. Ages same as Marne.

Our age gap has never ben a problem for anyone really. Age gaps are a bit of a nonsense anyway, after all, both DH and I were with partners our own age (his exw is the same age as him, my exp was 4yrs older than me) prior to meeting each other and those relationships didn't work out.

No real concerns about the future. We are fortunate enough to be in a position to make more than adequate financial provision for retirement/death etc (poor DH, he is barely 40!) . Obviously the age gap means it is more likely that I will spend 20 or more years as a widow (yikes!), but to be honest I rarely think about it and when I do I can't help but feel that if it is the price I pay for being with him, then it is worth every second.

NomDePlume · 16/02/2008 08:21

BTW, we have been together for 7 years, married for 5, if that makes a difference !

FrannyandZooey · 16/02/2008 08:26

I have friend with 15 year age gap - he is younger man, she is older woman
they have been together about 10 years now, have a child etc
his family were quite iffy about it but I assume they have got over it by now

Original poster
davidtennantsmistress · 16/02/2008 08:53

tab that's what i've tried saying to him! lol.

am just going to see what happens - i'm the only younger person he's dated (so it's all new to him - bless! lol) have dated older men before.

re the kids bit - he said he wants more (also got that out the way early on - but as I said thou i'd only have more if I was totlaly sure and it was the right person, which doesn't mean he's the right person if that makes sence.)

i'm glad to hear so many of you are happy with your other halves. it has to be said thou, this man is honestly like none i've before. which is only a good thing.

OP posts:
ZippiBabes · 16/02/2008 09:12

i think if you meet when younger but have an age gap it is more feasibloe than my age

the aging thing is just present now rather than theoretical

i wouldnt want to date someone who was int their sixties

well particularly not if i can date someone in their thirties

and no one half decent in their forties wants to date me because they are all looking at much younger women

oliviaelanasmum · 16/02/2008 09:12

There is 18.5 years between me and dp, im 25 and he is 43. He didn't have any children till we met and now we have 3, we are ttc again as dp says if it doesnt hapen before he is 45 we will have to stop
I think he looks good for his age

Twiglett · 16/02/2008 09:14

My mother is 16 years younger than my father, they had their golden wedding anniversary in December

tell him he's looking for excuses and not to be an arse

NomDePlume · 16/02/2008 09:15

Awwww, I love pictures of big men with tiny babies

[broody]

Original poster
davidtennantsmistress · 16/02/2008 20:23

I did today twig! lol.

althou he came back at me saying - well I don't want to really fall for you now and then have you say that it's an issue in a few months as that's a waste of both of our time how very rude. can understand the point thou - but think it's all smoothed out again.

zip - no I wouldn't want to date someone in their 60's either! lol.

OP posts:
ZippiBabes · 16/02/2008 20:26

lol at waste of time

he sounds very serious for a new date

Original poster
davidtennantsmistress · 16/02/2008 20:37

well quite - that's what I thoguth when he said it - my come back was well we'll ave to see what happens cos I can't say where i'm going to be in 6 months time - or indeed how I feel once i've got to know him better - after all it's only been a few weeks so not very long at all.

OP posts:
ZippiBabes · 16/02/2008 21:46

i don't think you can kind of agree in advance that you will stay together some people seem to want to do that to stop themselves getting hurt or

they are the kind of people wjo say readvertised due to time waster

on their car ads

it always puts me off

moljam · 16/02/2008 21:47

dh is 12 years older-not a problem except his love of of the 80s!

had exp who was 22 years older.

MsHighwater · 16/02/2008 22:01

I think I beat any other age gap so far on this thread.

My dh is 19.5 years older than me. I turned 40 last summer and he's just had his 60th. we've been together for almost 7 years and married for 5.5 years. He has grown up dd's from his first marriage and we have a dd (2.5) together.

He is the love of my life and a sublime daddy to our dd.

amytheearwaxbanisher · 16/02/2008 22:09

i think men are a lot younger mentally anyway so wouldnt worry

Original poster
davidtennantsmistress · 17/02/2008 17:59

lol. well still ok with this blokey - he seems to have chilled about it all so I am - well would be but now do you rememer that no 1 from ages ago zip - the whole first date one? well he's contacted me out of the blue today and wants to go for a drink - now i'm fully settled here he wants to again - and he's the one i'm really intrested in - still! lol. so althou other guy's only been a few weeks, should I go on this drink or not? lol. god sounds like something out of eastenders! lol.

OP posts:
ZippiBabes · 17/02/2008 18:05

yip definitely go for a drink with the first one

id draw the line at having sex with two at the same time tho madamez wouldnt but sex with one and a drink with the other is fine i think

especially as this one does seem a bit expectant and rule bound

Overrun · 17/02/2008 18:07

Eight and a half years, but I was the more worldly wise of the two of us, and probably the bossiest as well

Original poster
davidtennantsmistress · 17/02/2008 18:08

hey i'm not sleeping with any of them! lol. I talk to them - they might get a good night kiss if I feel like it and like them, but certianly no more. (made that mistake once won't be making it again any time again! lol)

OP posts:
ZippiBabes · 17/02/2008 18:10

oh well just go ahead then

sorry shouldnt impute my shambloic morals on toother people lol

ZippiBabes · 17/02/2008 18:10

maybe its your posting name

Original poster
davidtennantsmistress · 17/02/2008 18:13

lol. how very rude of you - me and our DT go wey back! all the way to the first series!

OP posts:
hecate · 18/02/2008 10:58

dh is 10 years older than me and it works well. The men my age that I know seem, erm...

RGPargy · 18/02/2008 11:15

DP is 26 and i've just turned 40

We have a 10 week old DD together and it's wonderful!