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Original poster

Can we talk age gaps - how big is yours if you have one?

97 replies

davidtennantsmistress · 15/02/2008 13:58

XH was 6 months younger than me, but it was fine (he was immature at times yes but anyhow)

i've rencent met & rather like a chap who's a lot older (as in i'm 25 and he's 38). whilst previously I have chatted to people who have been 32-35 ish. it's always been quite casual and friendly, where as this chap is thinking 5/6 years ahead type thing, when he's 44/45 and i'm 30/31, and is worried about things - ie that really I'm after a young and buff man.

tbh i'm not bothered at all - if I was then I wouldn't be seeing him again, and have tried saying that I can't tell him where i'll be in 5 years time if even with him etc etc, but still he's worrying.

so do you ahve a gap an is is an issue?

OP posts:
TrinityRhino · 15/02/2008 14:33

I'm 30 just turned lastr week and dh is 47 in june

but he looks young and buff

ZippiBabes · 15/02/2008 14:34

and of course that way round the age gap works

it doesn't work if the guy wants children and you are the older woman

geordiemacminx · 15/02/2008 14:36

Oooo I win I win!!!

There is 19 years between dp and I, we met when I was 19, went out for 18 months, split then got back together 3 years ago!!

We have ds who is 9 months, he has 2 children from his first marriage who are well into their teens.

The age thing has never been a problem, and he really is the best dad to ds.

NeverSayNevertoaDyson · 15/02/2008 14:45

I'm 8 years older then Dh

Miaou · 15/02/2008 14:47

dh is 9.5 years older than me (currently 10 years as he had his birthday yesterday so he is 46 to my 36!)

When we first met and I saw him across a crowded room at a student counselling meeting (ie we were both at Uni, him as a mature student) my first thought was "ooh, he's old" - I was 20 and he was 29! But we got to be friends and I can honestly say that I gave it very little thought after that, except when I introduced him to my family. Sixteen years on and it only comes up when we discuss things like coinage (he remembers the old stuff!), landing on the moon (he remembers that too and the odd tv programme.

It's all an attitude of mind IMO. We have just had our fourth baby and he finds the sleepless nights/hard work no harder than I do.

cazboldy · 15/02/2008 14:52

there are 6 years between me and dh, which is nothing really, well not now anyway......when I was 14 and he was 20 my mum and dad were not best pleased. but now we have just been married for 10 years, and have 5 beautiful kiddies. I am 26, and he is 32, and we got married when I was sweet 16!

SuperGrrrl · 15/02/2008 15:14

almost 12years, and very much in love and compatible. Been together 10years this year.

MrsMacaroon · 15/02/2008 19:14

DH is 11 1/2 years older and it hasn't really affected our relationship except that he's been around the block, if you know what I mean...

mazzystar · 15/02/2008 19:18

My dad was 10 years older than my mum and they were very very happy.

lovetIngles2 · 15/02/2008 19:24

I'm 35, DH is 52! We've been together 13 years married 10 and there has never been an issue with the age difference between us. I did, however, choose to have dc earlier than I would have liked (in an ideal world!) as he didn't want to be ancient when we had babies, and there are other issues, like his now very elderly parents I seem to do a lot of running around for, and then of course I am aware he will be slowing down in the next 10-15 years when I'm at my peak but I love him, we're happy and I'll do whatever I have to......

hatrick · 15/02/2008 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
davidtennantsmistress · 15/02/2008 19:43

thanks for all the positive messages, hopefully he'll relax a bit more about this - seems to be more an issue of him thinking it's one for me but it's not.

OP posts:
kinki · 15/02/2008 19:46

Not much of an age gap between me and dh. But there was 17 years between my mum and dad. They started dating when she was a 17 yo schoolgirl and he was 34 . They had no more ups and downs than any other couple. I believe the difference made my dad 'younger'. He's now a very fit 80yo. They had 33 happy years together (mum died several years ago). I was about 12 before I realised dad fibbed about his age, he always said he was 10 years younger.

tortoiseSHELL · 15/02/2008 19:48

Dh and I are 14 years apart, been married for nearly 10 years now! (I'm 31, he's 45). My parents did raise an eyebrow when we started going out, as I was only 19 at the time, and they thought 33 was a bit old...but it really hasn't been an issue at all.

StressedAndHarrassedMama · 15/02/2008 19:56

There's 8 years between me and dp- i'm 26 and he's 34. Was only an issue with my parents when I first met him- I was 17- but it has always been fine

ornamentalhaggis · 15/02/2008 19:56

DP and I are exactly the same ages (I'm 31) and have the same 14 year gap as you tortoiseSHELL!

We've been together 4 years and it's never been a problem

Original poster
davidtennantsmistress · 15/02/2008 20:10

i'm slightly concerned about my parents but not enough to put me off carrying on dating him.

OP posts:
lovetIngles2 · 15/02/2008 20:46

you never know DTM's.. thought both my parents and pils would be horrified. I was wrong.

BearMama · 15/02/2008 23:39

DP is 50, I am 37, not an issue at all. This will be my first child but his fifth. I asked him on our third day together about kids so I got that out the way earlier. IME, age is never the problem, its compatability/maturity.

When I was 18 I went out with a 38 year old. In hindsight he might as well have been 17. Last I heard he was still dating women young enough to be his daughter .

DP couldnt be more different, thankfully. We've had our problems but nothing to do with an age difference. He is faithful, loving, committed and responsible. This will be our third year together.

Hope this works out for you. X

pandagirl03 · 16/02/2008 00:03

there is 17yrs age gap between me and dp, I'm 25. We are very happy getting married in may, been together 4.5 years. The age gap has never been a problem, the only thing is i would like another baby and i think dp has a few issues about this but i think its mainly to do with he already has 2 children from ex, and we have dd together but he is a great dad. Tbh i never think of the gap, its only when i see threads like this i think about it.

ZippiBabes · 16/02/2008 00:08

i think its bound to be an issue for the older one i am in exactly the same position but there are more years between us

SlackSally · 16/02/2008 00:13

15 years between DP and me. Got together when I was 17/18 and he was 32/33 (it was quite a fluid beginning).

My dad went ape at first. Well, for about 2 years, but he tolerates likes him now.

To be honest, if either of us is less mature than the other, it's definitely him.

TabithaTwitchett · 16/02/2008 00:14

I was 24 and DH 37 when we first got together. It has never been an issue for us apart from when we were first going out and he was worried he looked like a pervert as I looked quite young for my age (though I don't now unfortunately!). He doesn't act or look his age anyway so I don't think many people realise there is that much of an age gap. I wouldn't worry, you wouldn't know where you would be in 5 years tme with anyone you had recently started seeing. Good luck!

ZippiBabes · 16/02/2008 00:36

there arent many older women and younger men tho lol

so ok for you davidt

but generally it doesnt work so well the other way

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 16/02/2008 07:20

dh is 14 years older than me, wasn't an issue when we got together 8 years ago but recently he is becoming more of a grumpy old man (he's only 45).

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