My ex partner ended things with me 4 weeks ago... I'm trying to reconcile how I feel about it all. We'd been together since 2006, no kids together. I absolutely believed he was the love of my life.
We'd split up last year for 7 months, I knew our relationship wasn't great before it happened but he blamed me for stopping making an effort in terms of our sex life, which is fair as I got lazy and put on weight and we stopped communicating properly. We both accepted we made mistakes (there's a lot of stuff that he was at fault for too) and wanted a clean slate so we got back together just before Christmas.
I genuinely thought we were both trying, well I thought I was anyway but looking back I have my doubts as to whether he was. 4 weeks ago he told me things weren't working and he was moving out again. I knew something was up, you can just tell, he seemed dismissive of me and it was making me miserable.
He moved out the next day and we stayed in touch, just friendly messages and said we'd try and stay friends. Part of me was relieved and knew it was probably the right thing for us both and I was getting on ok, not great but I was doing better than when we split last year. Until he messaged me this week to tell me he'd met someone else, he didn't go looking for someone but it just happened, they'd just been friends previously, it felt right, he felt this was the right path for him blah, blah, blah. Hilariously this woman is pregnant, but not with his child.
He swears absolutely that nothing happened before we split up, whether that's true or not, who knows. What hurts the most is that he's moved on so quickly, and it now feels like he was never bothered about making a go of it. Someone much more attractive and younger has paid him some attention and that's it, he's in another relationship.
Deep down I know I'm probably better off without him, so why the fuck do I feel like shit?! I told him I couldn't be friends as I was too hurt about how quickly he moved on. I asked him to not contact me unless it was about collecting things from the house and he'd stuck with this until today when he messaged asking if I was ok. This has led to a whole load of messages where he seems to think I'm unreasonable for being cold with him. He understands why I may not want to be friends at the moment but says I'm not being civil. Ironically he started his messages saying he knew I didn't want to hear from him... yet still proceeded to contact me.
Am I unreasonable for being ok with staying friends with him until he told me he's met someone else? I know I'm jealous of his new gf but is it a case of I want what I can't have all of a sudden, even though having him probably isn't the right thing.
Can someone slap some sense into me?!
Sorry that was so long 😕