How to accept loss of best mates

[Dwadle]

DH and I had 2 best mates (who were also in a couple). We went on holidays together, BBQs frequently and things were wonderful. They supported us when our son died. We were each others Best Mans and Maid of Honours etc.

They spent the last year breadcrumbing DH and ghosting me until they've finally said to DH they want nothing to do with us directly. No explanation why or what's happened.

For me, it's a bit easier to accept as I've felt like I lost them a year ago but for DH it's hard as he kept out hope.

Anyway, what can we do to move on from this and accept it without dwelling and analysing it all? Is there anything I can do to support DH in particular?

I don't think you could possibly be friends after that.

They're crazy, were never real worthwhile friends and are nasty worthless people.

''@Mamapiggywig · Yesterday 17:14
There could be so much more going on, behind closed doors. Don’t judge them, ''

Of course she can ''judge'' them.

Anyone who chooses to badmouth a friend on social media/behaves like a cow fully deserve to be judged...

Yeah I don't really want to judge though, I want to let it go and move on. I feel if I start judging and keep analysing then I'm gonna get caught up in this for longer

Then just move on - it really is that simple!

You came here and people are trying to tell you, you've lost nothing. The fact you didn't mind the woman when she was being mean-spirited shows the type you are too!

If your DH wants whine about it, tell him to grow up, his family comes first. Plus if I had a DH who wanted to be friends with people who disrespected my wife by stalking her social media and telling her to fuck off I would dump him too!

Hi op yes move on. Not nice of them but do you want those kind of people in your life. No. My mam had a long friend over 30yr. Contact was dropped. No reason. Very hurtful.

Did you ever get answers @Dwadle x

Your DH has been friends with this guy from school, the change is his DW being in his life. Maybe one day his BF will see the wood for the trees, but for now, he has to accept that his mate has chosen his DW over him. Why it had to come to a choice, only she can answer.
It may have seemed easier for your DH's mate to chose her though if she had done some hero worshipping to him of your DH, like maybe held your DH up to him as a favourable comparison. Jealousy of you kinda goes hand in hand of exhalting your DH's virtues. I can see that a particular type of person might do that.
It's their unhealthy dynamic, you might find that your DH's friend tries to reconnect in the future once his relationship hits the fan and he realises some things. Till then, he's lost to her.

Alright OP you and your DH need to go grow some balls and fuck these people off out of your lives. People like this deserve no more attention or interaction. She sounds batshit crazy. I would also be blocking all mutual friends from your social media.

I didn't want to read and run as I have been through something similar. Ours was that we all went to school together, drifted apart and came back into each others lives. We were there through both their children's birthdays and they for our youngest. We all played significant roles in their wedding, went on holidays together ect. At one point we didn't see each other too much because my 2 kids seemed to be getting illness after illness. After that I was scrolling through social media and noticed she had deleted me off it. I don't usu social media more than a couple times per year so no idea when she actually did it. I sent her a message to ask why and her response was that she is only keeping people on there who regularly like and comment on her stuff as she considers those people to be the closest to her. So because I don't use social media I wasn't close anymore. I said I was sorry she felt that way and would always be there of she needed anything and that a she end of it. I found it particularly funny because I was always the first one to message checking up on them. She had a lot of issues medically, yes, but when she was going through good patches she wouldn't once ask us how we were etc. Her husband kept me on social media but I ended up deleting him as we hadn't spoken and I know she would use his account to spy on us. My DH doesn't have social media and wasn't as bothered by the friendship loss.

It hurts though, especially when the answers are nothing you can really understand. This happened a few years ago and I've just had to learn to move on. We can't make people change their minds and sad but I try to believe that things happen for a reason. Hopefully that becomes clearer as time goes on.

This thread is a year old 😅 over them now, time is a great healer and I couldn't recall last time they'd crossed my mind prior this thread resurfacing.

Hope u ok op. Dont think I get too deep into friendships again thats my view on things now. But glad you doing well