I've been with my new man for 4 months. I've been a single mum for around 2 years now and have 2 children who are 5 and 9.
My new man is honestly the kindest guy I've ever met and most loving. He showers me with compliments constantly and is very affectionate. He is keen to meet my kids. Examples of his kindness include being v helpful in my house and fixing some things, cooking for me, being very available and reliable, giving me small gifts and always asking how I am etc. He also looked after my pet for me when I was away and lent me his car when mine broke down.
My situation is that I don't have much money but I'm on 50k and have a mortgage and some financial help from ex £100-300 a month. Because of cost of living this covers me, the kids and I have some money to go out, book cheap trips, but that's it.
Now my new man is very sweet and generous, but he lives in a council house, has his own business which doesn't make much money atm and is on income support.
He pays very small maintenance for his kids, but seems happy in his situation mainly.
He used to have a difficult past and is turning his life around for last 3-4 years it seems, looking after himself and building his life.
What it means though is that when I plan trips, I've already been slightly subsidising him, which I'm worried will drag me down financially long term... Also I feel that he would be happy to live with me long term, but how would this work.. Even if his business gets better, he doesn't seem to think that it would bring him much. He doesn't want to go back to his previous work, as I think he enjoys working for himself and what he does. He lacks confidence in trying to expand his business or try to increase his profits.
Second dilemma is about our differences in political beliefs and general knowledge. He says himself that he just was never curious about current affairs so his knowledge is based on what he hears from his family, who take their knowledge from the Sun. They are all very sweet people, but that means things like 'Britain is full', 'jobs should be kept for people in the uk' etc. This is problematic for me as I have a diverse background and take these kind of beliefs to heart as a personal insult almost. When we talk about this he feels guilty for not educating himself more in the past. But then I really went into dating thinking that I'm not going to get myself a project as I've done it before with my ex where I helped him and taught him loads and was left with not much.
Sex is fine, but also there was some ED from time to time, but seems to be improving.
We are both 40 something. Is it normal to have doubts? I feel that I love him and maybe just need to keep getting to know him. We've had lots of fun together with really fun activities, some of them initiated by him, but a lot of them initiated and paid by me, although he pays for drinks etc. He also takes me out for cheaper things which I guess is fair enough as there is a difference in income, but I'm also aware I'm spending money I should be perhaps saving in my situation. I'm also aware my ex used me financially so don't want to repeat the pattern..