Wife gets so drunk she can't remember what she does

[Rainkilt123]

My wife and I have been together 5 years. We enjoy a social drink once a month or so and go out once every 6 weeks or so. Ever since we met, when she's drinking she suddenly hits the wall, is falling about drunk. It's never really bothered me before as its not as if it's an every day thing. She never remembers anything from the point of blind drunkenness the next day. We were out a few months ago and this guy kept giving her the eye. Out of nowhere he comes up to her, right in front of me and asks her to go outside. Without even looking at me she picks up her handbag and follows him. It takes me a second or two to gather up my stuff and I follow her out. By the time I'm outside she's standing there and this guy is walking up the road. I ask her what the hell she's doing and she doesn't have a clue. Next day she doesn't remember a thing.

When she was single, she admitted she would go out and get drunk and hook up with guys on nights out. That's fine, her choice.

She has a few things coming up, two all day days out with girlfriends, a concert and a wedding. Now I'm wrecked with mistrust. I 100% trust her when sober or any other time but when she gets into this state she doesn't know what the hell she's doing I worry what she'll do and I don't trust her drunk. I've tried telling her in a round about way, tried laughing the guy at the bar off by saying to her, remember no wine that gets you smashed and she laughed it off too. Truth is I can't say for certainly that when drunk she won't do anything.

I have no idea how to address this. I really don't want to be that person who says you can't go to these things. I know her friends will look after her like I have to when she's like that but she's a wanderer. Buy I just don't have that trust when she's so drunk.

She doesn't have a drink problem. Just can't stop when at her limit.

This was me; not the flirting and worse with men but not knowing when to stop and then having blackout. I could tell many a tale of not being able to remember things I did or said when drunk and I never totally believed my DH when he’d tell me the next day.

The penny eventually dropped and I’ve completely changed the way I drink, what I drink and how much. This has all been part of an overall health re-start of my life and nearly a year on, I am so much better. I can now look back and admit I that I had a problem with alcohol but my DH no longer has concerns about my drinking, neither do my family and neither do I.

Maybe you could talk to your wife and ask her to make changes to what she drinks, for instance, I still drink wine but I add soda in equal parts, make sure I eat enough and drink more water when drinking alcohol.

Just to add, I was in a not great mental state for several years, this isn’t to excuse my behaviour but I recognise it now for what it was. I wouldn’t say I was an alcoholic at all, I was a binge drinker which was also problem drinking. I am able to fully moderate my alcohol intake and I now know when to stop.

I’m in a much, much happier place than I was, maybe this is a conversation you need to have with your wife.

Yes this, blacking out is short term memory loss. It’s not the same as passing out/into unconsciousness.

I filmed my ex when he was in a drunken stupor, because when I tried to discuss how horrible he was drunk, he said I made things up or at least exagerrated. So I filmed him and showed him.

Unfortunately it didn't stop him drinking, but I think in some cases it might be enough to shock someone enough to try changing. In my case, it just gave me something to remind him with when he accused me of divorcing him for no reason. And something to remind myself with if I ever questionned myself for leaving him (although I never have, I can remember it all to well).

This. Honestly is this the life you want to live? I’d be leaving my partner if they were like this.