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Original poster

Dh is only 30 and went soft 'during'

28 replies

butcherin · 04/04/2023 16:36

I feel so upset, I haven't said anything other than are you ok. he's only 30 and has a lower 'drive' than me anyway. Now he's gone soft while inside, I just feel so ugly and unwanted. Also worried for dh. He drinks too much but he's really fit and eats well. Has this happened to anyone else? he's so young

OP posts:
Original poster
butcherin · 04/04/2023 16:37

bump

OP posts:
L3ThirtySeven · 04/04/2023 16:47

Whisky dick- drinking too much can make a man not get it up, go soft during or not be able to finish.

Spottycarousel · 04/04/2023 16:52

Men can go soft for many reasons including stress, tiredness or anxiety. Its highly unlikely that he thinks you're ugly. If he thought that he wouldn't be with you wanting to have sex in the first place. Try not to take it personally or make it into a huge deal. That might cause him more anxiety which will make it likely to happen again. He's probably feeling embarrassed.

wincywincyspider · 04/04/2023 16:53

Spottycarousel · 04/04/2023 16:52

Men can go soft for many reasons including stress, tiredness or anxiety. Its highly unlikely that he thinks you're ugly. If he thought that he wouldn't be with you wanting to have sex in the first place. Try not to take it personally or make it into a huge deal. That might cause him more anxiety which will make it likely to happen again. He's probably feeling embarrassed.

Exactly this.

L3ThirtySeven · 04/04/2023 16:55

He needs to drink less. Regular high alcohol consumption causes ED.

Knullrufs · 04/04/2023 16:55

Very normal. Men aren't pneumatically powered performance machines (despite how much some of them would like to insist otherwise).

I've fallen on a lot of willies in my time and this has happened relatively frequently, including with men younger than 30. It could be alcohol related, he could be stressed, anxious or depressed, he could be knackered, it could be he's recovering from a virus. It could just happen; sometimes it does.

If he got it up and then went soft it's unlikely to be anything cardiovascular or respiratory related.

If it keeps happening it might be worth him having a chat about whether he's got any mental health issues going on, or possibly getting his testosterone levels checked.

This isn't about you, so stop fretting! It's not personal.

Watchkeys · 04/04/2023 17:11

Now he's gone soft while inside, I just feel so ugly and unwanted

You're basing your opinion of yourself on how hard one man's penis is?

Why would you do that?

Manchestermummax2 · 04/04/2023 17:21

Knullrufs · 04/04/2023 16:55

Very normal. Men aren't pneumatically powered performance machines (despite how much some of them would like to insist otherwise).

I've fallen on a lot of willies in my time and this has happened relatively frequently, including with men younger than 30. It could be alcohol related, he could be stressed, anxious or depressed, he could be knackered, it could be he's recovering from a virus. It could just happen; sometimes it does.

If he got it up and then went soft it's unlikely to be anything cardiovascular or respiratory related.

If it keeps happening it might be worth him having a chat about whether he's got any mental health issues going on, or possibly getting his testosterone levels checked.

This isn't about you, so stop fretting! It's not personal.

Fallen on a lot of willies 🤣 brilliant!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 04/04/2023 17:29

In his case its likely related to the amount of alcohol he is consuming.

What is the longest period of time, to your direct knowledge, he has gone without alcohol?.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 04/04/2023 17:39

Brewers Droop. A well known side effect of drinking too much.

nurseynursery · 04/04/2023 17:41

Dear God! Is this for real?

category12 · 04/04/2023 17:45

Is this like one incident?

Because you're really overreacting and taking it far too personally if so.

Men's bodies don't always do what they want them to do, and it's not about not fancying you.

When you're post-menopause, will it be reasonable for him to get upset if you need additional lube?

JKTrolling · 04/04/2023 18:10

Was he drinking at the time? Who initiated the sex? What did he say after?

How is the relationship in general? If all is fine then it might just be a one off. If not then maybe he’s just not that into you anymore.

arethereanyleftatall · 04/04/2023 18:20

It really isn't a good idea to attach your own attractiveness to whether someone else drinks too much/is stressed etc

username1722 · 04/04/2023 21:23

If it's just a one-off, I wouldn't worry about it. He's probably stressed or anxious about something, maybe drinking too much, the list goes on.

It does NOT reflect on your attractiveness. It's not you. Just chill and try again some other time. Just don't start getting funny with him about it over one incident as that will stress both of you out the next time you try.

Wakemeup17 · 04/04/2023 22:05

JKTrolling · 04/04/2023 18:10

Was he drinking at the time? Who initiated the sex? What did he say after?

How is the relationship in general? If all is fine then it might just be a one off. If not then maybe he’s just not that into you anymore.

Are you for real? A guy goes soft once and based on this you think he's not into IP anymore? Just wow.

Wakemeup17 · 04/04/2023 22:05

Wakemeup17 · 04/04/2023 22:05

Are you for real? A guy goes soft once and based on this you think he's not into IP anymore? Just wow.

Show quote history

*OP

BubziOwl · 04/04/2023 22:08

Really not a big deal. Bodies are not machines, sometimes they do things you don't expect for any number of totally benign reasons.

If it starts to happen more frequently, the drinking would be my first guess. But I really wouldn't think twice at all about a one-off.

Seas164 · 04/04/2023 22:32

It's not a dildo. It's attached to a human. Don't make this about you.

Comii9 · 04/04/2023 22:35

nurseynursery · 04/04/2023 17:41

Dear God! Is this for real?

I thought the same.

OP ot happens and how you have put it... sou ds like a 1 off.

Wha · 04/04/2023 23:25

It’s caused by drinking too much alcohol. It’s called “Brewer’s droop.”

Sorry you had a shit shag, tell him to sort out his health, this is a warning sign.

Onlyhope · 04/04/2023 23:30

Have you never had something weird happen to you during sex? Like where your O is just further away than usual/not happening or where your inexplicably dryer than the Sahara during good sex?

Some times it just happens

Azandme · 04/04/2023 23:33

Totally normal for a man to have a random flop, even at "only 30", and absolutely chuff all to do with your attractiveness.

This is a normal part of life, it's NOT a big deal - so don't make it one.

JKTrolling · 05/04/2023 06:45

Wakemeup17 · 04/04/2023 22:05

Are you for real? A guy goes soft once and based on this you think he's not into IP anymore? Just wow.

Show quote history

Do you think a man goes soft when he watches porn? Or when he’s sleeping with the woman he’s having an affair with?

I don’t know what your husband has told you….. but it sounds like you believe him. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

readbooksdrinktea · 05/04/2023 07:04

Seas164 · 04/04/2023 22:32

It's not a dildo. It's attached to a human. Don't make this about you.

Exactly.

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