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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Dh is only 30 and went soft 'during'

28 replies

butcherin · 04/04/2023 16:36

I feel so upset, I haven't said anything other than are you ok. he's only 30 and has a lower 'drive' than me anyway. Now he's gone soft while inside, I just feel so ugly and unwanted. Also worried for dh. He drinks too much but he's really fit and eats well. Has this happened to anyone else? he's so young

OP posts:

SpringleDingle · 05/04/2023 07:26

My OH who is 100% besotted by me gets the droop when the dog stares at him
mid-fuck. It generally makes us both laugh and try again once I’ve evicted said dog from the bed. It’s normal and yes brewers droop is a thing. Talk to him but try not to make him feel embarassed or under pressure or it will likely just get worse.

piedbeauty · 05/04/2023 07:41

Spottycarousel · 04/04/2023 16:52

Men can go soft for many reasons including stress, tiredness or anxiety. Its highly unlikely that he thinks you're ugly. If he thought that he wouldn't be with you wanting to have sex in the first place. Try not to take it personally or make it into a huge deal. That might cause him more anxiety which will make it likely to happen again. He's probably feeling embarrassed.

This! Be calm about it. It's not you, and it was probably a one-off.

baileys6904 · 05/04/2023 07:51

@JKTrolling well done on the most appropriate username I've seen this morning.

OP in female. I absolutely adore my OH and am lucky enough to fancy him as much as I love him. However sometimes, I just can't be arsed having sex with him. I might be knackered. Might have had a shit day. Might have had an awkward conversation thats on my mind. Might have just forgotten to buy sausages at the shop. Anything. The only difference is when that happens to a man, its more visible.

It's no reflection on my OH. It's not a sign of a drink problem (I don't). It's just a sign I'm not a machine. It's no different.

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