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Original poster

22 weeks pregnant feeling the other woman

33 replies

GL222 · 02/04/2023 19:47

Hi. Just wanted advice
So I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant and my partner lives 50 miles away
He has one other son and he was stopped from seeing him for two years by the baby mom and was granted part custody start of the year

Since this has happened - him and his ex have become best friends again
I barely see him but he spends time with her and his son and her other child and goes on family days out with them
He also speaks to her all the time behind my back about everything and even our problems
He also brings her up randomly.in conversations and has called me her name 3 or 4 times
I am so affected and bothered by this and he just doesn't understand and calls me crazy and insecure
I also asked if I could meet her and the children and she said no - even though my son is being born and would.be around her children but she doesn't want to meet me? I think she has deep routed feelings for him still

I feel so unheard and misunderstood - they both call me.crazy together bit I'm.pregnant and want to be included in my partners life and family! I have felt so alone in this pregnancy and he has prioritised her over me

The children yes - they should.be number one priority however he doesn't seem to care about how it makes me.feel them regularly spending so much time together and going on these fun days out when I feel like.im struggling home alone

The situation has broken me and I don't know how to cope anymore

OP posts:
Thelifeofawife · 04/04/2023 00:15

OP this is awful. It sounds like he wants his other family back, but yet doesn’t actually want it if that makes sense.
Theres no reason he can’t see her other son as well, without her being there. Or just pop in for half an hour when he drops his own DC off at home.

Its so easy for people to say to walk away, much harder to actually do when you’re in that situation. But for the sake of you and your baby you do need to give this some serious thought 💐

IDespairOfTheHumanRace · 04/04/2023 00:27

Christ OP, he's living a double life in plain sight, gaslighting you and behaving like an entitled cunt - you are better off going it alone. Dump this weasel ASAP!

Notamum12345577 · 04/04/2023 00:58

he sounds like he isn’t that interested in you, so yes you may well need to end the relationship? But cutting contact? You are carrying his child, you can’t just cut contact with him!

ImSweetEnoughDarlin · 04/04/2023 01:07

UnfUnfortunately it very much sounds like she's not the ex, and you're the ow.

Zanatdy · 04/04/2023 06:33

Bless you. This is unacceptable. Yes spend some time together but not constantly like this. This is the woman that took his kids out of his life completely until court forced contact. And he’s prioritising her over you? Well more fool him. Seriously it’s better to end it now as he’s never going to change, he can’t see how it’s upsetting you, he clearly has no consideration to how his actions make you feel.

Original poster
GL222 · 04/04/2023 08:24

Hi. I'm.cutting contact whilst pregnant. My mom and sister will update him. I can't talk to him whilst he's treating me this way - once my son is here obviously things will change and I will have to try to be civil but its unforgivable how he's treated me. I am being referred to a specialist midwife for some help as I'm suffering mentally quite badly x

OP posts:
Copperoliverbear · 04/04/2023 10:36

Is there anyway you could just move away somewhere,
He is a narcissist, that's probably why his relationship broke up in the first place, you and your son are better off without him, please be strong for your child.
He begged you to have a child because he thought it would bind you together, even if you are not together.
If it were me I'd move far away so he didn't bother with contact much as it was too far.
You are better off away x

Megoo · 24/07/2023 13:48

First of all I’m so sorry you are in this situation. My partner when he got with he was still going on days out with his ex and I said to him that’s completely inappropriate, especially since she would slag me off to him and call him names for dating me. He stopped and understood what I meant. Now we are all amicable. It took a while but I am NOT sharing my man.

does she know you are expecting a baby with him?
he sounds like an idiot that will be full of deep regret when he is older & looks back but seems to be enjoying his situation so rather than agree it’s f’d up would rather tell you you’re crazy. You’re not crazy, you deserve so much better than this.

is this your first baby? When the arrival comes that man won’t mean shit to you as you are full of hormones that make you feel love towards him atm. Nobody comes before your child & when you see your child for the first time I hope and pray you see that man as trash he is.

Im also pregnant and my partners family are not happy. He had 3 boys with his ex and I’m having a little girl. Mother in law said I took the chance away from his ex to have a girl?! Madness aye!

I wish you all of the best. Please reach out to good friends, pregnancy classes & don’t ever think you don’t have support because you do, just not from mr sperm donor.

good luck x

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