Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Partners boring!!! SOOOOOO BORING

87 replies

Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 16:33

Hello,

So I posted a few nights ago about my relationship issues.

I think it's time for me to break up with my partner.

We just don't have anything in common; he's the best man I've met in terms of the way he treats me and I have never worried about him cheating or things like that. I feel safe with him....he's 'safe' as I know he's always there for me. But, he's sooooooo boring!!!

I went away on holiday for just over a week, came back and couldn't see him as he had his kids so few days later I went to see him. I honestly didn't feel like I missed him while we were apart. We kissed and again, didn't do anything for me. We slept together, it was so clumsy and I didn't feel anything...

He has his kids this weekend and drops them back to their mum late afternoon. I asked if he was coming over today: he said he will come over tomorrow.

Life's just so dull with him.

I'm not asking for much am I? A drive on a nice Sunday? Pub lunch and a walk out with the dogs? Anything?!! But nothing gives...

I've explained that im bored and that we don't do anything ...he replies with the obvious as in, I'll be over tomorrow and I'll see you in the week...that's it.

It's really depressing.

He's more than happy to go to work, be a dad, watch TV and sleep...nothing else! I come up with things to do...have to wait for days to get an answer. It's just so tedious and without repeating myself. Boring!

I want to start doing more of me so what do others do for you? I'm a really outgoing person and enjoy so much in life...please hit me up with some ideas to form new networks and do things for me seen as my partner isn't bothered with much else really.

Thanks

OP posts:
YukoandHiro · 02/04/2023 16:35

You are unsuited and worse than that you've got the ick. End it before you cheat.

How long have you been together? Do you live tighter? (Doesn't sound like it) If not at least it's an easy break without the complications of property and finances.

OllieAggieNouse · 02/04/2023 16:36

I would find a drive out on a nice Sunday completely stultifying and I'd think I'd turned into my grandparents - but if that's what you like the idea of, then the obvious thing is some kind of walking group. What else do you like doing? Join an orchestra/choir/amateur dramatics society? It's hard to suggest things without knowing anything about you other than that you don't fancy your boyfriend and find him boring (though those two things are good enough reasons not to continue in a relationship with him).

Dotcheck · 02/04/2023 16:36

For heavens sake- just break up with him if you aren’t right for each other. Why be so mean, and drag the whole thing out? There’s nothing binding you to him.

DustyLee123 · 02/04/2023 16:36

Bin him off before he sucks the joy out of your life.

cassiatwenty · 02/04/2023 16:37

Is he fit? You need someone handsome to look at. It'll make up for boredom

cassiatwenty · 02/04/2023 16:39

Or LTB 😋

Natty13 · 02/04/2023 16:43

I don't think a relationship between one person who likes to get out and about and do things will ever work with someone who doesn't ever. It's easy enough when you are young and with work/kids taking up a lot of your time but as you get older and retire the difference between you gets exaggerated and intolerable.

Hillrunning · 02/04/2023 16:44

You just aren't suited, no need to be quite horrible about him. Many people are happy with a slow pace of life. Just end things kindly and get on with socialising.

tatteddear · 02/04/2023 16:51

My ex boyfriend was like this. In three years I think he organised one thing for us to do. He was happy to work, watch Tv and paint his weird war hammer gnomes. And that was it. Note that he is an ex.

I suspect he had was autistic tbh as he just couldn't get his around breaking his routines no matter how much I told him I was bored and unhappy. He was perfectly nice. But just so bloody boring!

OldFan · 02/04/2023 16:52

He was happy to work, watch Tv and paint his weird war hammer gnomes

@tatteddear I shouldn't laugh but😂

MumOf2workOptions · 02/04/2023 16:52

I'd literally just not contact him and I
He probably won't be in contact with you and then it'll just fizzle out - no need for any unpleasantness he seems nice enough just mega boring!!!

tatteddear · 02/04/2023 16:53

I know!!

perfectcolourfound · 02/04/2023 16:53

He isn't wrong. You aren't wrong. You're just different and not well suited.

cassiatwenty · 02/04/2023 16:54

OldFan · 02/04/2023 16:52

He was happy to work, watch Tv and paint his weird war hammer gnomes

@tatteddear I shouldn't laugh but😂

Perhaps he spends all of his riveting convos on the gnomes as well so he's spent

OldFan · 02/04/2023 16:55

You just aren't suited, no need to be quite horrible about him. Many people are happy with a slow pace of life

@Hillrunning I think OP is happy with a fairly relaxed pace of life, if a drive out and going to a country pub or whatever is something she likes (which I agree is quite nice too.)

But her partner isn't even doing that. Nothing.

Original poster
Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 16:55

Im really not intentionally being horrible about him. I do love him I just want him to do SOMETHING. I referred to a drive as in its doing something instead of nothing...which is what we do. Nothing.

We have been together 3.5yrs...live separately.

You'd think that living apart and not seeing eachother everydsy would give it some boost/spark but isn't happening.

I think I know what I need to do...make a life on my own.

OP posts:
OldFan · 02/04/2023 16:56

We have been together 3.5yrs...live separately.

Sounds like a dead end OP.

AnneLovesGilbert · 02/04/2023 16:57

You do. And he’ll hopefully find someone who wants what he does. You can’t call someone boring in a not critical way so you do sound really mean about him. Just dump him and then you’ll be able to fill all your time with excitement and adventure.

WonderingWanda · 02/04/2023 16:57

It sounds like you aren't actually physically attracted to him op and that's a huge problem.

Also are you waiting for him to make plans or do you make plans and invite him to do things on the weekend and he declines?

Some common interests are important. So yes, I would agree, you probably do need to split up with him. Life's too short to be unhappy.

pictoosh · 02/04/2023 16:59

Or find someone who matches you in terms of zest for life, wanting to be active, doing stuff and getting out.

I couldn't be bothered with a couch potato even if he was really nice. It's just not me and I wouldn't want to have to coax anyone along.

PousseyNotMoira · 02/04/2023 16:59

Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 16:55

Im really not intentionally being horrible about him. I do love him I just want him to do SOMETHING. I referred to a drive as in its doing something instead of nothing...which is what we do. Nothing.

We have been together 3.5yrs...live separately.

You'd think that living apart and not seeing eachother everydsy would give it some boost/spark but isn't happening.

I think I know what I need to do...make a life on my own.

Out of interest (as, either way, I think you should break up with him), but have you directly communicated all of this to him? Not just telling him you’re bored. The whole thing: I am frustrated that we never do anything, I would like to do things like XYZ (specific examples).

If so, what was his response?

pictoosh · 02/04/2023 17:01

@PousseyNotMoira

"I've explained that im bored and that we don't do anything ...he replies with the obvious as in, I'll be over tomorrow and I'll see you in the week...that's it."

From the OP.

BertaHoon · 02/04/2023 17:02

Definitely end this and move on.

You aren't suited.

He'll get a chance to meet someone suited to him, and you likewise.

Makes me feel worn down just reading it.

LadyKenya · 02/04/2023 17:03

Even the boudoir business sounds like a chore for you OP. Maybe it is time to go your separate ways.

PousseyNotMoira · 02/04/2023 17:05

pictoosh · 02/04/2023 17:01

@PousseyNotMoira

"I've explained that im bored and that we don't do anything ...he replies with the obvious as in, I'll be over tomorrow and I'll see you in the week...that's it."

From the OP.

From my comment: Not just telling him you’re bored. The whole thing: I am frustrated that we never do anything, I would like to do things like XYZ (specific examples).

Swipe left for the next trending thread