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Original poster

Partners boring!!! SOOOOOO BORING

87 replies

Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 16:33

Hello,

So I posted a few nights ago about my relationship issues.

I think it's time for me to break up with my partner.

We just don't have anything in common; he's the best man I've met in terms of the way he treats me and I have never worried about him cheating or things like that. I feel safe with him....he's 'safe' as I know he's always there for me. But, he's sooooooo boring!!!

I went away on holiday for just over a week, came back and couldn't see him as he had his kids so few days later I went to see him. I honestly didn't feel like I missed him while we were apart. We kissed and again, didn't do anything for me. We slept together, it was so clumsy and I didn't feel anything...

He has his kids this weekend and drops them back to their mum late afternoon. I asked if he was coming over today: he said he will come over tomorrow.

Life's just so dull with him.

I'm not asking for much am I? A drive on a nice Sunday? Pub lunch and a walk out with the dogs? Anything?!! But nothing gives...

I've explained that im bored and that we don't do anything ...he replies with the obvious as in, I'll be over tomorrow and I'll see you in the week...that's it.

It's really depressing.

He's more than happy to go to work, be a dad, watch TV and sleep...nothing else! I come up with things to do...have to wait for days to get an answer. It's just so tedious and without repeating myself. Boring!

I want to start doing more of me so what do others do for you? I'm a really outgoing person and enjoy so much in life...please hit me up with some ideas to form new networks and do things for me seen as my partner isn't bothered with much else really.

Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 17:11

PousseyNotMoira · 02/04/2023 16:59

Out of interest (as, either way, I think you should break up with him), but have you directly communicated all of this to him? Not just telling him you’re bored. The whole thing: I am frustrated that we never do anything, I would like to do things like XYZ (specific examples).

If so, what was his response?

Show quote history

I have yes, so many times. Always comes back with something like "we went to X" (6 weeks or so ago) and you have been on holiday.

I've encouraged taking all the family camping over Easter, for 1 night, just to get out and do something - not interested.

Wild swimming in various locations - no thanks.

Book festival/gig tickets - get no meaningful response and never gets booked.

A night out - tells me he can't afford it (has a 50k job).

Saw eachother on valentine's night, had a nice meal then sit Infront on the TV - he's asleep for 8.30pm - I arrived at 7!

My family tell me I've finally met a good one and he is very much loved by them all...

I just want to feel alive and enjoy life, not have the same predictable week, week in week out. I could write down what next month looks like and I bet i wouldn't be far off the truth.

I wonder if I'm just there for his benefit so he's not on his own but I'm the one feeling alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 17:13

cassiatwenty · 02/04/2023 16:54

Perhaps he spends all of his riveting convos on the gnomes as well so he's spent

Show quote history

This made me laugh 🤣

OP posts:
PousseyNotMoira · 02/04/2023 17:13

Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 17:11

I have yes, so many times. Always comes back with something like "we went to X" (6 weeks or so ago) and you have been on holiday.

I've encouraged taking all the family camping over Easter, for 1 night, just to get out and do something - not interested.

Wild swimming in various locations - no thanks.

Book festival/gig tickets - get no meaningful response and never gets booked.

A night out - tells me he can't afford it (has a 50k job).

Saw eachother on valentine's night, had a nice meal then sit Infront on the TV - he's asleep for 8.30pm - I arrived at 7!

My family tell me I've finally met a good one and he is very much loved by them all...

I just want to feel alive and enjoy life, not have the same predictable week, week in week out. I could write down what next month looks like and I bet i wouldn't be far off the truth.

I wonder if I'm just there for his benefit so he's not on his own but I'm the one feeling alone.

Show quote history

I am a very lazy homebody and, even by my standards, this man sounds dull. I think you should end it before you go mad and end up attacking him with a frying pan.

InSpainTheRain · 02/04/2023 17:14

In the nicest possible way I think you need to part company. You don't sound compatible at all.

Mari9999 · 02/04/2023 17:17

OP, rather than planning lunch out in a pub, why not try spontaneity and once he is there say " it's such a nice day ,let's go have lunch at the pub? "

Having time to ponder plans may just give him time to talk himself out of them. It is a bit more difficult to just say no in the moment particularly if the other party seems excited.

Alternately, you might point out that you seem to have gotten into a" sameness rut" and want to try something different. Suggest maybe that you each take turn in planning one activity a month and the only restriction is that the other party has to participate without complaint.

Original poster
Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 17:21

cassiatwenty · 02/04/2023 16:37

Is he fit? You need someone handsome to look at. It'll make up for boredom

He is a good looking man yes but I think he needs a bomb out under him to actually get moving!!

OP posts:
B0g · 02/04/2023 17:21

You’ve spent 3 and a half years waiting for this man to change who he is as a person? Just dump him, you write like you despise him, so should be easy.

Gablonz · 02/04/2023 17:22

You aren't compatible. You want to do different things in your free time. You could work round that I suppose, but then you say this:

I went away on holiday for just over a week, came back and couldn't see him as he had his kids so few days later I went to see him. I honestly didn't feel like I missed him while we were apart. We kissed and again, didn't do anything for me. We slept together, it was so clumsy and I didn't feel anything...

So that's it really. It isn't working for you. End it and let him find someone who is a better match

strawberriesarenot · 02/04/2023 17:27

He sounds ok. He has kids, and he cares about them, so he already has more important people in his life than you, not to mention a whole world of being a parent that passes you by. You sound a bit self centered yourself (and boring!). I guess emotionally immature. Of course you should seperate.

Mari9999 · 02/04/2023 17:30

@Greenvelvet93
It is also possible that he is finding the relationship less than exciting. He may have just decided that having 1/2 a loaf is less work than having to bake a whole loaf.

That does not suggest that you or not compatible ,it may just mean that one of you is lazier than the other.

Original poster
Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 17:31

strawberriesarenot · 02/04/2023 17:27

He sounds ok. He has kids, and he cares about them, so he already has more important people in his life than you, not to mention a whole world of being a parent that passes you by. You sound a bit self centered yourself (and boring!). I guess emotionally immature. Of course you should seperate.

Ouch! Bit rude but I to have children, 3 of them and run my own business but I still put the effort in to make my relationship work. It's just not reciprocated!!

Thanks for your view but it's not being considered

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 02/04/2023 17:34

Why are you fighting this so hard? You are not compatible, end of. He doesn't meet your needs. What your family thinks is irrelevant, and they can date him if they think he's so perfect. Just end it already. You've wasted soooo much time.

Comii9 · 02/04/2023 17:36

OldFan · 02/04/2023 16:56

We have been together 3.5yrs...live separately.

Sounds like a dead end OP.

There's always a rush to live together but the reality doesn't live up to it. When you have kids I guess you have no choice due to expenses and it being the "norm" to live with your family.

I can relate to OP... going on date nights should be exciting when you don't live together. It's all part of the fun.

Viviennemary · 02/04/2023 17:36

Just try and book lunch and a meal out somewhere nice in the evening. If that doesn't work time to call it a day.

cassiatwenty · 02/04/2023 17:36

Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 17:21

He is a good looking man yes but I think he needs a bomb out under him to actually get moving!!

Show quote history

GrinGrinGrinCake

FallgriefsGirlfriends · 02/04/2023 17:40

How old is he OP?

Happygirl79 · 02/04/2023 17:42

You sound unsuited. I once dated a lovely man like him for about 6 months.

I did fancy the pants off him. Very good looking guy. Dressed well. Own home and car. Good job. Honestly he was so nice. I never heard him speak ill of anyone but he was very boring and I just couldn't bare to look to the future and see us together. I would have literally died of boredom so I had to finish the relationship and have never regretted it.
Think 5 or 10 years ahead of this and then make your decision.
Good luck

ManchesterGirl2 · 02/04/2023 17:43

I'm sorry OP. Sometimes they are "a good one", i.e. kind, loyal, but still not compatible with you.

He sounds well-suited to an introverted homebody. Personally, I'm more like you, I don't think he'd be right for me either. I guess you either need to accept he's like this and find friends to do trips and outings with, or split up.

Tradeup · 02/04/2023 17:45

@Greenvelvet93 you can find a man who will treat you as well as your current partner but who you have much more of a connection with. Now you have been with a good man you will know what to look for in terms of a man who is respectful and kind but is a lot more on your wavelength. You were wise not to move in together, that makes breaking up much harder.

Number24Bus · 02/04/2023 17:48

Time to end this OP. You are not compatible!

Dontlistitonfacebook · 02/04/2023 17:52

You are just very different people. Ä°t can work (my grandparents were opposites in this regard, together for decades) but both parties have to be happy with it, and you are not.

ConstanceOcean · 02/04/2023 17:52

It sounds like you are just not compatible.

Do you have to do these things with him, can’t you do them alone/ with your kids/ with friends?

Then you get to have fun but also stay in the relationship.

GoodChat · 02/04/2023 17:52

strawberriesarenot · 02/04/2023 17:27

He sounds ok. He has kids, and he cares about them, so he already has more important people in his life than you, not to mention a whole world of being a parent that passes you by. You sound a bit self centered yourself (and boring!). I guess emotionally immature. Of course you should seperate.

He sounds boring AF and OP says in the first post she has kids. If you're going to be intentionally mean at least make it make sense.

LooseGoose22 · 02/04/2023 17:55

What happened in his relationship with his kid's mother?

LooseGoose22 · 02/04/2023 17:55

(That you know of).