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Original poster

Partners boring!!! SOOOOOO BORING

87 replies

Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 16:33

Hello,

So I posted a few nights ago about my relationship issues.

I think it's time for me to break up with my partner.

We just don't have anything in common; he's the best man I've met in terms of the way he treats me and I have never worried about him cheating or things like that. I feel safe with him....he's 'safe' as I know he's always there for me. But, he's sooooooo boring!!!

I went away on holiday for just over a week, came back and couldn't see him as he had his kids so few days later I went to see him. I honestly didn't feel like I missed him while we were apart. We kissed and again, didn't do anything for me. We slept together, it was so clumsy and I didn't feel anything...

He has his kids this weekend and drops them back to their mum late afternoon. I asked if he was coming over today: he said he will come over tomorrow.

Life's just so dull with him.

I'm not asking for much am I? A drive on a nice Sunday? Pub lunch and a walk out with the dogs? Anything?!! But nothing gives...

I've explained that im bored and that we don't do anything ...he replies with the obvious as in, I'll be over tomorrow and I'll see you in the week...that's it.

It's really depressing.

He's more than happy to go to work, be a dad, watch TV and sleep...nothing else! I come up with things to do...have to wait for days to get an answer. It's just so tedious and without repeating myself. Boring!

I want to start doing more of me so what do others do for you? I'm a really outgoing person and enjoy so much in life...please hit me up with some ideas to form new networks and do things for me seen as my partner isn't bothered with much else really.

Thanks

OP posts:
LooseGoose22 · 02/04/2023 17:56

You sound a bit self centered yourself (and boring!). I guess emotionally immature.

You're clearly reading a different thread.

She doesn't, at all.

She sounds normal.

He sounds boring and very low effort.

SwedishEdith · 02/04/2023 17:59

Obviously, you're not compatible but, out of interest - what's his job and what are the rough ages or your and his kids? Tbh, he sounds bored of you as well.

OldFan · 02/04/2023 17:59

I can relate to OP... going on date nights should be exciting when you don't live together. It's all part of the fun.

@Comii9 Yep and it should make sex more fiery if you haven't seen each other for a bit maybe.

altmember · 02/04/2023 18:12

He has his kids this weekend and drops them back to their mum late afternoon. I asked if he was coming over today: he said he will come over tomorrow.

Life's just so dull with him.

I'm not asking for much am I? A drive on a nice Sunday? Pub lunch and a walk out with the dogs? Anything?!! But nothing gives...

A bloke putting his kids first makes him boring?

GoodChat · 02/04/2023 18:12

altmember · 02/04/2023 18:12

He has his kids this weekend and drops them back to their mum late afternoon. I asked if he was coming over today: he said he will come over tomorrow.

Life's just so dull with him.

I'm not asking for much am I? A drive on a nice Sunday? Pub lunch and a walk out with the dogs? Anything?!! But nothing gives...

A bloke putting his kids first makes him boring?

No, he's taking his kids home then going home to chill for the rest of the day, presumably. Op would like to do something with him.

Goatbilly · 02/04/2023 18:23

You must have "noticed" his behaviour well into the three years - why are you waiting for him to change? Are you worried you can't do "better"? Can't be bothered to go dating again? Sounds like sunk cost fallacy to me.

Original poster
Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 18:33

39

OP posts:
MyStarBoy · 02/04/2023 19:30

Your title speaks volumes and unfortunately leopards don't change their spots.

There's nothing more soul destroying than being with someone who's boring.

Ir's death by 1000 swords.

I think you need to dump him ASAP and set yourself free from this drearyness and find someone who's interesting and got some life in them. You are definitely not compatible with him.

Good luck

rainyskylight · 02/04/2023 19:37

If you don’t want to be with him because you don’t fancy him anymore or feel like the relationship isn’t going anywhere, then that’s fine. There’s no need to post spiteful things about him on an anonymous forum. Just tell him you’d like to separate and move on with your life.

OldFan · 02/04/2023 19:40

@rainyskylight I read it more as OP's tone is that of letting off steam. Her doing so on an anon forum doesn't hurt him or anyone.

CovertImage · 02/04/2023 20:28

Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 17:31

Ouch! Bit rude but I to have children, 3 of them and run my own business but I still put the effort in to make my relationship work. It's just not reciprocated!!

Thanks for your view but it's not being considered

Show quote history

I don't see why, I agree. You claim to love this man and have apparently already decided to leave him yet still felt impelled to start a thread slagging him off.

AllOfThemWitches · 02/04/2023 20:37

OldFan · 02/04/2023 16:56

We have been together 3.5yrs...live separately.

Sounds like a dead end OP.

Based on the fact that they live separate? Mumsnet is a very weird place sometimes.

OllieAggieNouse · 02/04/2023 21:13

AllOfThemWitches · 02/04/2023 20:37

Based on the fact that they live separate? Mumsnet is a very weird place sometimes.

Show quote history

Separate houses is a fantastic way to have a relationship. Far easier than trying to blend families.

AllOfThemWitches · 02/04/2023 21:16

OllieAggieNouse · 02/04/2023 21:13

Separate houses is a fantastic way to have a relationship. Far easier than trying to blend families.

Show quote history

Exactly. The poster I quoted suggested the relationship was a dead end for that reason.

Joey69 · 02/04/2023 21:30

Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 17:11

I have yes, so many times. Always comes back with something like "we went to X" (6 weeks or so ago) and you have been on holiday.

I've encouraged taking all the family camping over Easter, for 1 night, just to get out and do something - not interested.

Wild swimming in various locations - no thanks.

Book festival/gig tickets - get no meaningful response and never gets booked.

A night out - tells me he can't afford it (has a 50k job).

Saw eachother on valentine's night, had a nice meal then sit Infront on the TV - he's asleep for 8.30pm - I arrived at 7!

My family tell me I've finally met a good one and he is very much loved by them all...

I just want to feel alive and enjoy life, not have the same predictable week, week in week out. I could write down what next month looks like and I bet i wouldn't be far off the truth.

I wonder if I'm just there for his benefit so he's not on his own but I'm the one feeling alone.

Show quote history

Are these the things that you want to do by any chance?

Just because he doesn’t want to do those doesn’t necessarily mean he is boring, just might not like your suggestions.
Personally I think a book festival or wild swimming sound awful and I would certainly decline

somethingslastforever · 02/04/2023 21:33

Some people like 'boring' things. You clearly aren't well suited and have different interests, stop dragging it out and just end things.

Maze76 · 02/04/2023 21:41

If you don’t want to end the relationship then the only thing you can is sit him down and have a conversation. I know you have said that you have made suggestions of activities to do and he’s brushed them aside, but if you just go along with him, he’s not going to think there’s an issue.
Things won’t change if he doesn’t believe they need to or, more importantly, he doesn’t want to.
A serious, honest conversation is the only way forward.

Phoebo · 02/04/2023 21:56

Leave him

Antiquiteas · 02/04/2023 22:12

strawberriesarenot · 02/04/2023 17:27

He sounds ok. He has kids, and he cares about them, so he already has more important people in his life than you, not to mention a whole world of being a parent that passes you by. You sound a bit self centered yourself (and boring!). I guess emotionally immature. Of course you should seperate.

Why do posters like this bother? I suppose it’s magically better to take your own misery out on forum strangers than say, kicking pigeons or something. But still, go away. 😆

Antiquiteas · 02/04/2023 22:13

And he sounds boring AF.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/04/2023 22:15

A serious, honest conversation is the only way forward.

What a ridiculous waste of time that would be. He knows how the op feels, he doesn't give a shit.

This man isn't changing. Move on already.

Aozora13 · 02/04/2023 22:27

Honestly, “not being a dickhead” is a pretty low baseline. You shouldn’t feel compelled to date someone you’re not compatible with just because they’re a non-ugly, vaguely acceptable human being.

Maze76 · 02/04/2023 22:40

@Aquamarine1029 Why is a conversation a waste of time? if OP decides to end the relationship it’s likely a conversation about why it’s ended will be had, so why do you say it’s a waste of time? Or are you saying that OP should just cut him off- no conversations- just disappear?

Aquamarine1029 · 02/04/2023 22:42

Maze76 · 02/04/2023 22:40

@Aquamarine1029 Why is a conversation a waste of time? if OP decides to end the relationship it’s likely a conversation about why it’s ended will be had, so why do you say it’s a waste of time? Or are you saying that OP should just cut him off- no conversations- just disappear?

The op should say this relationship is no longer working, wish him well and then stop communicating. A statement is needed, not a conversation.

lala2023 · 02/04/2023 22:51

@strawberriesarenot

You seem utterly, utterly ghastly and you are chatting shit

That is all

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