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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partners boring!!! SOOOOOO BORING

87 replies

Greenvelvet93 · 02/04/2023 16:33

Hello,

So I posted a few nights ago about my relationship issues.

I think it's time for me to break up with my partner.

We just don't have anything in common; he's the best man I've met in terms of the way he treats me and I have never worried about him cheating or things like that. I feel safe with him....he's 'safe' as I know he's always there for me. But, he's sooooooo boring!!!

I went away on holiday for just over a week, came back and couldn't see him as he had his kids so few days later I went to see him. I honestly didn't feel like I missed him while we were apart. We kissed and again, didn't do anything for me. We slept together, it was so clumsy and I didn't feel anything...

He has his kids this weekend and drops them back to their mum late afternoon. I asked if he was coming over today: he said he will come over tomorrow.

Life's just so dull with him.

I'm not asking for much am I? A drive on a nice Sunday? Pub lunch and a walk out with the dogs? Anything?!! But nothing gives...

I've explained that im bored and that we don't do anything ...he replies with the obvious as in, I'll be over tomorrow and I'll see you in the week...that's it.

It's really depressing.

He's more than happy to go to work, be a dad, watch TV and sleep...nothing else! I come up with things to do...have to wait for days to get an answer. It's just so tedious and without repeating myself. Boring!

I want to start doing more of me so what do others do for you? I'm a really outgoing person and enjoy so much in life...please hit me up with some ideas to form new networks and do things for me seen as my partner isn't bothered with much else really.

Thanks

OP posts:
firsttimemum1230 · 02/04/2023 22:55

Youve been together 3.5 years and still don’t mix when he has his children? I’d be going out with them if I cohkd
id be making it a proper family. This is mental and doesn’t sound right.

Rayn22 · 03/04/2023 08:39

You have said it yourself OP. You need a life on your own. Just do it as you know it isn't going to work long term.
If you don't split up now you will in the future. How old are both of you?

Rayn22 · 03/04/2023 08:43

Sorry just seen he is 39. Just ask yourself if you still want this in 20+ years?

gannett · 03/04/2023 09:57

You don't miss him, you don't like him and you're not attracted to him. Pure incompatibility on every level. I don't understand why you can't work out for yourself that you shouldn't be in a relationship with him.

JoanJettsMullet · 03/04/2023 10:05

What do you “love” about him? You find him boring and don’t enjoy being with him sexually. You don’t miss him when he’s not around. That is not love.

ValuePartnership · 03/04/2023 10:23

I think you know what the answer is, and now you have heard it from almost everyone on this thread. If you don't end it, you will go crazy and climb the walls.

(Only other thing I can think of is.... are you perhaps trans-sexual? Would transitioning help? You could become a woman who claims to be a gay man ... life would never be boring and your partner might also be transsexual and he could become a lesbian without even needing to transition.)😈

jemimapuddlepluck · 03/04/2023 11:21

strawberriesarenot · 02/04/2023 17:27

He sounds ok. He has kids, and he cares about them, so he already has more important people in his life than you, not to mention a whole world of being a parent that passes you by. You sound a bit self centered yourself (and boring!). I guess emotionally immature. Of course you should seperate.

Jesus wept, whatever possessed you to write this drivel. How unhappy are you? Think its best you stay away from human interaction for a while.
OP, he wouldn't be for me. Question is, why do you stay with him? What's the point? Is it to have someone, anyone? It's awful being in a relationship where you feel lonely and bored. Far better to be single with no one letting you down!

gloriousmulch · 03/04/2023 11:24

Jesus, I’d certainly be ending that. You’re incompatible and it doesn’t sound as if it’ll get any better.

Guiltypleasures001 · 03/04/2023 11:30

Op I'll say this very gently
Your the one who needs a bomb under you
It's not changing it's not going to
How much longer are you going to wait for and again no change?

You change it, do something for you and walk away

jimmyjammy001 · 03/04/2023 11:31

Sounds like you are both at different stages in life, he has children that are his priority in life and by sounds of it your don't, he has ties and restrictions that he can't do the same things as you can do, I'd find someone more compatible and in future stay away from the ones who have kids as your free time, priorities, restrictions in what you can do are completely opposite

FloydPepper · 03/04/2023 11:31

altmember · 02/04/2023 18:12

He has his kids this weekend and drops them back to their mum late afternoon. I asked if he was coming over today: he said he will come over tomorrow.

Life's just so dull with him.

I'm not asking for much am I? A drive on a nice Sunday? Pub lunch and a walk out with the dogs? Anything?!! But nothing gives...

A bloke putting his kids first makes him boring?

On mumsnet yes it does

Johnisafckface · 03/04/2023 21:18

I'm a serious homebody but he sounds boring to me. People like this rarely change (or they might for the "right" person).

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