Do they teach children at school about bad people and how to spot them and how to protect themselves? If not shouldn’t they?

[Justwondering3]

Im just wondering as I have small children.

I was not taught this by my parents and got myself in all sorts of mess. Does anything happen at school to prepare our children for the big world in case the parents are not able to for whatever reason? Like myself I was highly academically educated but I was emotionally extremely immature.

Yes it’s up to us as parents to do this but some genuinely can’t.

Slightly un related but a girl in my daughters class has just had 10 baby teeth out because her parents gave her fizzy drinks. The parents for whatever reason have not protected this child but she is the one who suffers.

@DojaPhat yes it does sound like a pipe dream. Society is not set out really as a connection of people. We produce what we teach and we teach what we produce. I’m sure it would take a complete overhaul of the system which is unlikely to happen.
Its just sad.

Well said.
And when a child may realize something is wrong, if they go home and try to talk to a parent, they may very well get punished and threatened not to tell family secrets.

I certainly don't have the answers. I certainly do appreciate and am grateful for every single teacher who took a genuine interest and encouraged me.

@mewkins I didn't 'congratulate myself on my great luck in being born into the right family and screw everyone else who didn't'. When I posted, the example OP had given was the parent giving their kid fizzy drinks; I hadn't read her post about growing up in an abusive home. If I had, then my answer would have been different.

Of course we are all responsible for each other to a degree; we don't live in a vaccuum. But do I want to be responsible for next door's ten children who run wild and are feral, just because they've decided to have lots of kids then not look after them? No, I don't.

Each adult needs to take personal responsibility for their actions. If for whatever reason they are unable to, then that's a different matter, and that is why we have social services.

But I don't think teachers should be solely responsible for this. Although healthy relationships and consent are covered in PSHE, along with things like coervice control, gaslighting, etc.

Ok so it’s just a minefield really I guess. I was only wondering if something could be done within the school time. I know as a child I was encouraged to achieve. I achieved my full potential academically at school but my emotional potential was severely lacking. Childhood Trauma accounts for so many of the mental health issues we have today as adults (even the more negative ends). It doesn’t have to be obvious abuse. I think it’s perhaps to big a subject for school on its own but I think it needs to start somewhere.

It’s very very difficult. I taught my DC that paeophiles exist when they were around age 7, and they were aware of ‘child thieves’ and muggers much earlier than that. I think we have to give our children these concepts to help them understand why they can’t walk home alone from preschool, why the teacher can’t help wipe their bum in reception etc and to keep them safe from grooming.

As for school shooter crazies and terrorists I haven’t got into all that yet. I did try to explain about assessing risk eg why we don’t walk in the woods alone at night but DC got confused about that.

@piedbeauty but what happens if we as a community could step in somewhere and help those children of the parent who had 10 children to not follow in the parents footprints. Down the road we all win.

For very young children, it is the parents' job to protect them and only place them in the care of those who are trusted/have been vetted. Also teaching the basics - pants are private, never get in any car except one organised by a parent, and so on. My ds knew those before he went to school.

For older children, isn't it better to teach children their own value, to respect themselves, and as parents to model good behaviour and show support and affection. If you manage that, children know how they should be treated and how to treat others, where to come if they are unhappy or need support, and will avoid 'bad people' on their own.

Extended family contribute to that process.

Schools are quite busy enough as it is.

@MintJulia in a lot of cases the parents teach the child what they have been taught and modelled themselves by there own parents. I’m talking about breaking the chain. Some people literally don’t know that fizzy drinks are bad because it’s all they have known.

I think it would be great if we could break the cycle, it’s a huge undertaking though. And where do you start, the parents, the kids?

Look at when Jamie Oliver just tried to get kids eating healthier meals at school. The kids didn’t like it, the parents were handing them McDonald’s over the school fence. And that’s just food.

You can teach just about anything but the most important thing is that they learn to listen to their own perception of people in or near their world. Or to put it more bluntly their gut feeling. We have all met someone who we just don't like, you can't put a finger on why you feel that way but it just is. I'm a firm believer in this instinct and children should learn to accept that it's okay to listen to it. As a child I was never comfortable with my neighbours dad and I was shy, it turned out that he had many affairs not that I will have understood what this meant at the time. I just knew that I couldn't trust him and it is this gut feeling that needs to put across to children and sometimes adults that it is okay to acknowledge this.

Some people don’t even know a relationship should make them happy. Some people don’t know that’s its perfectly ok to leave any relationship they want to for whatever reason they want to. I wonder where we can teach these things? Perhaps it’s just one of those things in life that just is.

I remember girl scouts being very positive. There used to be community centers that kids would go to and adults would be mentors.

With everyone short on time, it would be difficult to commit to too many things.

Maybe an extra curricular activity could suit for extra education and guidance?

There does seem to be a need!

@emptythelitterbox the only thing with that is that you need parents who want to take you and understand the importance of clubs like this on their children’s development. School is a legal requirement.

@justwondering3 I certainly didn't copy most things my parents did.

What you are really referring to is education of young adults on things like nutrition and basic healthcare. If schools teach all pupils to read, and the basics of nutrition, then any new parent is equipped to look up how to care for a child or a baby. The internet is loaded with such information.

Then midwives, health visitors and GPs, the schools nursing service etc, will flag up if a child is unclean or over or under weight etc. and advice given.

The information is easily available for all. Unfortunately the fact is that not all parents can be bothered. It's hard to legislate against stupidity or neglect.

You never saw close friends relationships? Other families? Boyfriends parents?

This the re as is very muddled between taking about abusive relationships along with fizzy drinks

@Villssev we are talking about how a child is raised and how the brain develops and wires itself around this. It’s beyond those things you say.

Yes but it is utterly diluting your point.

Theres loads of signs of piss poor parenting. lumping abusive relationships with fizzy drinks is… odd

@Villssev it was just an example of how that child suffered because of the parents actions. No doubt the parents were modelled the same action as children. The child whose teeth were removed could go on and do the same to their children. It’s a cycle that needs to be broken and some people can’t do that within the family home. Just a basic example.

dental hygiene. ^^

Is covered in schools

I know your parents have you a poor example

but did you not see friends relationships? Boyfriends parents? Or indeed relationships with previous boyfriends?

I'm a teacher, I have covered these kind of discussions, including online safety, sharing information with people online etc.

I would argue, that there is only so much teachers can cover. Although there are parents who are not equipped, we can't take over everything for them.

For what it's worth, I work in Scotland and our nursery children, P1s and P2s have their teeth brushed in nursery and school once per day. Again, this should be done at home obviously.

I'm not sure where people expect the line to be drawn.

Be careful not to assume that every poor choice that an adult makes is the result of inadequate behaviour modelled by that adult's parents. It isn't the case and it WILL come back and bite you on the bum in years to come.

In some areas the budget hasn't been entirely cut from youth services and they still exist to cover all of the things mentioned in this thread. As well as youth clubs they also run lunch time sessions in schools as well as specialist interventions around things like CSE, county lines etc. Getting kids to engage is another matter. But where a child has a social worker they will be told about various services that can be accessed and schools should also be referring to them too. Unfortunately loads of youth services had their budgets slashed way back as it isn't a statutory service (unlike children's social care for example). Luckily for all those who access the service they are not questioned as to why they can't just go off and look for a decent role model so that they can negate the effects of their childhood. They are run by qualified youth workers who understand the very real lifelong impact of trauma and neglect.