Do they teach children at school about bad people and how to spot them and how to protect themselves? If not shouldn’t they?

[Justwondering3]

Im just wondering as I have small children.

I was not taught this by my parents and got myself in all sorts of mess. Does anything happen at school to prepare our children for the big world in case the parents are not able to for whatever reason? Like myself I was highly academically educated but I was emotionally extremely immature.

Yes it’s up to us as parents to do this but some genuinely can’t.

Slightly un related but a girl in my daughters class has just had 10 baby teeth out because her parents gave her fizzy drinks. The parents for whatever reason have not protected this child but she is the one who suffers.

One of mine had loads of baby teeth out. Due to a medical condition.

Nice of you to judge that. When you don't know the full circumstances.

The better the schools, the better it teaches life skills too.

Psychological lessons are definitely needed at all schools - primary & secondary.

Sex Education classes are also about teaching children about Respect & consent.

How much are school to take on?

I worked in early years and we start early with the building blocks of what a good relationship is. We used to talk about not doing things to people that don't want it done to them and used tickling as an example. It gets tricky though because some parents regularly use abusive behaviour which passes as reasonable. I can imagine the uproar from many parents if their children tell them that shouting at them is unkind. But it is, a lot of accepted parenting us unkind and a lot of parents model hideous control tactics. Until we can accept that there are many parents who are cruel/rejecting we won't cut the numbers of people who find themselves either being abused or being abusive.

I think fairy tales were used to warn children that some adults who are nasty put a lot of effort into seeming nice. Problem is fairy tales is seem as a derogatory term as if it's fantasy, when in reality it isn't. Some children in a class will be living with abusive parents but because of the rhetoric around parenting it's hidden and covert. You only have to ask someone who has chosen to distance themselves from an unkind parent to hear the things they've had said to them 'but it's your parent' 'just forgive and forget' etc. Things no one would say to someone who had left an abusive marriage, although some would actually!

If course there are plenty of people having children who aren't capable of caring for them properly. You see it in generations of neglected and abused children.

School's can't take on every failure of society, they simply can't. The staff are both not trained and too busy doing literally everything else.

Since Feb half term we have had to deal with multiple medical issues that had arisen at home, but parents sent them in, multiple referrals for mental health and social services for neglect and abuse, supported a widowed woman with application for benefits as she is too overwhelmed to deal with everything right now and had the police in multiple times regarding violence, threats to kill, threats to rape and destruction of property. Add to that excluding students for having drugs in their possession, a screwdriver to "deal with someone after school" and 2 sets of parents fighting just outside the grounds.

Honestly, we can't do everything. My school has done that with 2 of our pastoral roles not filled as no-one even applies for them now and 4 supply teachers as we also can't seem to recruit those.

Bad people? In my most recent experience it seems to be some of the parents who are the bad people.

OP- Why haven't you just asked your children's school what is/isn't taught?

What would your solution be then? Should schools be replacing parents and teaching them everything there is to know?

Why were your parents so incapable of preparing you for life? I would hope that if it was due to addiction, abuse etc that nowadays there would be support from social services/caseworker etc.

Our neighbor 56 yeard neighbour (man) is a shouting psychopath from time to time.

Now their teenage son shouts when he is stressed after such a bad example.

I have great parents but they can't possibly have taught me everything growing up same as we can't possibly teach our child everything

I get sick of the excuse 'well I wasn't taught' whether that is teaching kids or picking better partners or using contraception or whatever

We learn as adults we can't keep on blaming 'it's the way I grew up'

Why should teachers do a parent's job? Teachers already have more than enough to do with actual education.

Yes, schools should teach as many life skills as possible.

How is any child's fault if any of their parents were addicts?

@pncr the child was sent to school with red bull in their bottles. It’s unfortunately so sad. I was not at all judgmental.

Because preparing a child for life is MUCH MORE important than any academic achievement that you might never ever even use in life after.

You're right they shouldn't have kids in the first place. But they do. And it's not the children's fault.

It's a total lottery in terms of the type of family you're born into.

As a society are we honestly happy to let children suffer as their parents aren't able/willing to do what they should be?

@Sunnygirl07 thank you. I have huge academic achievements and they prepared me for life in no way whatsoever and they were useless. Im lucky to have learnt about my past before I destroyed my children’s lives.

Yes! That and Love Island were great things to watch with my daughter, and then it would lead on to discussions about what's acceptable behaviour within relationships and what's absolutely not acceptable.

That said, the same approach wouldn't work with my sons, they've needed things spelling out in more black and white detail.

Secondary Schools have Preparation for Adult Life classes, but I'm not sure what those lessons are covering nowadays. Used to be budgeting and using bank accounts, putting a condom on a banana and then discussion based classwork that I can't remember anything of! I would imagine that schools are having to adapt and lesson plan around what's happening around them. I think schools have enough tick boxes to tick at the moment.

I don't think it is a question that can have a blanket answer, there's a majority of parents doing their best and the ones that are ignoring life skills, and what their children should be learning through example are in the minority.

To stop judging people and their lifestyles is something that needs to be taught too.

I think schools do more now than they used to. Just going by some posters eg pants rules and helping children talk if they have bad things going on

If that’s what you mean

It is sad that it’s just a lottery as to who you born to whether you get a good start in life or not. How very disheartening. How disheartening as a victim that those who had better luck just say oh well bad luck.

I don't think that anyone here has said that.
Also, schools do a lot more for children that we know are vulnerable. Many have nurture rooms and train staff on the importance of early childhood development.
A also think that by teaching literacy we teach more of these skills. We give people the tools to research what good parenting and good levels of child development look like.
All of the inference that goes into unpicking characters- looking at their motives and reasons for behaving as they do helps children to pick up on clues about whether someone is 'good or bad'.

The point is that schools just can't do it all and if people have the academic skills that schools are supposed to reach them, they have much more chance at helping themselves.

Sorry that should say

Train staff in the importance of early childhood attachment.

DD has just covered gaslighting at college.
I don't know whether it was also covered in KS4 as she missed most of it.

Is there anything people don't want us to be responsible for??

I already work 7.30 - 6, don't have a proper (if any) break and am constantly shattered. I already deal with the ramifications of parents who have children yet are completely ill equipped to deal with raising them on a daily basis. And I already have to fit non negotiable lessons into a day that is shorted that the lessons take when added together.

Corners are cut, every 5 minutes is utilised.

No, I don't think teachers should he responsible for absolutely everything.

I do agree with this.

Many of us (including the teachers who you also want to have all the answers) grew up in abuse. Sometimes, you have to take espo similitude for sorting out your shit yourself.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but I grew up in abuse. I have no other family. My life is, in many ways, a fuck up.

Or at least it was previously. I had to just do it myself.