Do they teach children at school about bad people and how to spot them and how to protect themselves? If not shouldn’t they?

[Justwondering3]

Im just wondering as I have small children.

I was not taught this by my parents and got myself in all sorts of mess. Does anything happen at school to prepare our children for the big world in case the parents are not able to for whatever reason? Like myself I was highly academically educated but I was emotionally extremely immature.

Yes it’s up to us as parents to do this but some genuinely can’t.

Slightly un related but a girl in my daughters class has just had 10 baby teeth out because her parents gave her fizzy drinks. The parents for whatever reason have not protected this child but she is the one who suffers.

@OldChinaJug I said do they as in schools. Is it on the academia set by the government. Could be taught by someone coming in for example.

That may well be true, but it is not the role of teachers to prepare children for 'life'. Teachers are there to teach the academic stuff; that is their role, just as your kid's gymnastics coach is there to teach them how to do a cartwheel, not how to apply for a mortgage.

The problem is that too many people think that school is some sort of catch-all system to teach kids everything they need to know about life. It isn't and neither should it be.

@DontMakeMeShushYou why can’t it be the role of schools, why does school just have to be about academia?

@DontMakeMeShushYou

I do think there should be more time on the curriculum for life skills though and not just taught in Tutor time as a bit of a tick box. My sons school spends a lot of time on French and Spanish and to me it does feel like a waste of time but I’m aware others who value MFL more than myself could think differently.

my daughter lived in an abusive household for 3 years and now is 7 with an abusive father still as I have no control over that. I would hate to think that people think she is a lost cause. So disheartening.
So you want teachers with limited training to sort out the mess you made?
How is you staying with an abusive man for three years the responsibility of the school?
She isn't a lost cause but it is on you as a parent to direct her through life.

@DontMakeMeShushYou of course schools should - and do - play a role on preparing children for life.

Hi OP, Google Healthy Relationships toolkits and you should find some materials. Schools will be covering this sort of thing in PSHE but it may be geared more towards online and child sexual exploitation (ie. The more extreme issues). There are some resources out there however to deal with things like boundaries and what is acceptable in friendships and relationships.

@QueenBee1234 no I don’t recall saying it was the job of teachers but schooling yes I do, with appropriately trained people, yes. The responsibility lies with us all, it takes a village, we are all connected.

Because that is what school is. That is what a school does. Actually they do a lot more besides but that doesn't mean they need to do it all.

Ask yourself this:
Why isn't it the role of your bank manager to teach you about abusive relationships?
Why isn't it the role of your doctor to show you how to book a flight?
Why don't you go to the swimming pool to learn how to brush your teeth properly?

I am trying to think back to my school years and what I got from school in these areas.

There were assemblies that covered various aspects of this, in primary school they were daily and in secondary they were once or twice a week. I think those still go on.

Then there were PSHE lessons which were quite direct and included this kind of discussion.

The other place was in English and in Drama. The learning to debate effectively and see other perspectives and ideas from literature and devising - not so direct but that helps in many ways.

Unless things have changes greatly there are ways in which schools can help all children, including those from more chaotic backgrounds, to understand various aspects of society in all it's positives and negatives.

It's your job, as a parent. Not schools.

But secondary schools do good PHSE. Consent when having sex. MH and high rate of suicide in young men. It's good enough. The rest is yours to teach.

@DontMakeMeShushYou because it’s when children that things get engrained. If someone could sow a different seed perhaps the outcome could be different.

They do cover what constitutes bad relationships in PSHE and what to do about it and the signs etc

If only ‘bad’ people were east to identify. Most of them put a lot of effort into not appearing ‘bad’ which makes it difficult. I think schools do make more of an effort these days to teach some of this stuff. What they don’t have so much is specialist staff and access to services to pick up the kids in need

@DontMakeMeShushYou

I don’t think they’re great examples to be honest. The best teachers are ones who have expert knowledge on their subject but are also good at the pastoral side too. I admit we can only do so much and I liken it to that of a plaster, but the PSHE provision varies so much within schools. Personally I think there’s room to develop that into a specific teaching role as opposed to just adding it on to say, the business teachers timetable.

I know they do ‘kid safe’ stuff at school which talks about yucky feelings etc and a bit about strangers. I don’t really think it goes far enough and there’s a lot of skirting around the issue so I try to talk about it with my dc. I think part of the problem is it’s difficult to communicate what the dangers actually are. It’s easier with things like firework safety because we can say , ‘if you play with fireworks you could burn yourself’, child abuse is much more difficult to communicate to primary aged kids. I’m grateful for anything school’s do contribute on this topic though

I think some of the resources on boundaries and inappropriate touching are a good thing, if they are age-appropriate. I grew up in the seventies when apart from vague references to “nasty men” who might hang around the school, there was no guidance for children who were uncomfortable about some adult behaviour. Parents were often far too embarrassed to talk about these things.

Why are you we talking about redbull and bad people? Redbull is an issue of health and bad people I assume like sexual abuse and violence. Well, I suggest you look at what the curriculum for your child's age group (early years, ks1..).
My DC's school taught them about healthy food, healthy relationships, who to go to if they are upset or worried, privates and pants areas, helplines like NSPCC and had someone from there talk to them, they have a lesson once a week about wellbeing, drugs, staying safe online, staying safe when crossing the road, emotional wellbeing...
So yes, my English children's schools always spoke to children about their wellbeing at various stages.

I don't think the burden should be on children to spot bad people whatever that means, it's not healthy or normal expecting children to scan and monitor people but they need to know where to seek help and what is permissible, right and wrong so they recognise when it's crossing a line as abusers gaslight you, blame you or scare you into silence they make you think you've caused it or were complicit somehow. I think parents should learn and read on how to spot bad people specially single mothers dating men who are absent fathers, terrible fathers or men because they showed you how they are to their own flesh and blood or men who have no children because you don't know what sort of dad he is.

Most children are taught about 'stranger danger' by their parents. Schools can have a role too.

At primary school I remember being taught that no one is allowed to touch me without my permission, they even showed us a short video about it (this would have been in the 90's).

Being in the lucky/ privileged position of not having experienced any sexual abuse as a child, I took this to mean that I should not let other children play tag with me, should not let a teacher tie my shoelaces, shouldn't ever let an adult pick me up to put me on a slide, etc. - anything that involved touching me, I thought was wrong - that was my strange childhood interpretation.

I found it all very confusing if I'm honest, because I didn't mind any of those things, but the school made me think there was something wrong with it!

So, yes, I think school can have a role but it needs to be done in the right way. A lot of this stuff is very confusing for small children with no experience of the world, they don't know why someone would be 'bad' or what it means, so adults need to keep that in mind and not scare them either.

If you decide to have a child, then you need to be responsible for bringing up that child. Why do you think it's down to the school to teach kids 'about bad people'??

Teaching kids social skills and modelling healthy relationships is down to the parents.

@IslandMeat so I ended up in an abusive relationship because I grew up in an abusive home. Was it my fault I modelled my relationship on my childhood, did I deserve it? Should no one have shown that child differently or perhaps given her some tools?

I think schools and any adults in a child's life have a collective responsibility for bringing that child up and also for safeguarding.

'It takes a village' as the saying goes.

Relying completely on parents is not the best way to keep children safe. Some parents do not have the resources or ability, for whatever reason. Schools can play a part too.

@piedbeauty Some parents themselves are the bad people or have no boundaries and allow access to bad people for their own children. I think it's good that school talks about this. It's about looking out for the child in case they have a shitty parent as the child will grow up to be part of society and might have their own children. Looking out for the child hopefully means they will contribute to society and function well rather than end up using up resources such as prison and medical care. It helps everyone to look out for children, it's not a luxury or a lazy option it's life or death for the child. I can't abide by this sort of individualist train of thought, we do not live in isolation from others, their problems and anti social behaviours impact us all one way or another. See the bigger picture!

I think you've tagged the wrong person because I never suggested this in my comment. Sorry about your childhood.

Hi @Justwondering3

What about those tv adverts years ago in 70s and 80s era's ect,
Which used to teach about child safety in all kinds of situations,

Why on 🌎 earth don't they have those kinds of TV Adverts anymore then?