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Original poster

Gentlemen, do your ladies treat you?

90 replies

Naoise88 · 25/03/2023 15:49

So I was talking to my friend recently, we work together and due a bonus in a few days. I was telling him I was going to get the missus (we're married 18 years) an Alexander McQueen handbag and a night away for the both of us. He then said something that rocked me back on my heels. "She buys you nothing mate" and thinking about it, it never really struck me before but its true. Any time I have a bit of money for whatever reason my 1st thought is the wife but I couldn't tell you the last thing she bought me spontaneously or outside of Christmas, my birthday, or from the kids for fathers day. I've been wearing Jeans for so long I'm actually embarrassed to tell you how long I've had them and a t-shirt from 8 years ago. I'm easy going so none of that stuff bothers me but it would be nice to be treated. She probably earns not alot less or the same as me, but i pay all the bills apart from the food shopping and fuel for the cars, so its not like she doesn't have the cash.

What's your experiences? Does your female partner treat you to nights away or the odd no reason gift?

OP posts:
MaireadMcSweeney · 25/03/2023 15:52

Who are you asking on here? You know this site is almost all women yes?
I buy my DP random gifts as he does me but they are usually in the realm of a £5 plant or something. I don't know any men who buy their partners £££ handbags as random gifts.
Do you feel your relationship is financially inequitable or do you feel unappreciated?

JaneJeffer · 25/03/2023 15:53

Nobody cares mate

pncr · 25/03/2023 15:54

Oh dear.

LTB?

ReturnfromtheStars · 25/03/2023 15:55

Can your love language be treats, meaning that's how you show love?

Do you often treat your kids too?

If her love language is different, she will try to show you her love in a different way, e.g. quality time spent together.

Tinybrother · 25/03/2023 15:57

Nice try

DoTrollsShitOnTheThreads · 25/03/2023 15:58

Maybe have a discussion about budget and share the bills so its evened out better?
I personally don't buy the dh anything major, because he prefers to pick his own things, and I never get it right.

Pixiedust1234 · 25/03/2023 15:59

Women don't express their love and respect with money. Its with the little day to day things, not grand gestures.

Do you do any of the little love things that make her feel special too?

Clusterfunk · 25/03/2023 15:59

Fascinating how your writing style is in no way like a journalist….

DoTrollsShitOnTheThreads · 25/03/2023 16:01

Oops. Welcome to mumsnet, op.

Tinybrother · 25/03/2023 16:04

this Is why men’s bonuses are higher that women’s of course. So that they can “treat their laydees”. Makes sense.

C1N1C · 25/03/2023 16:04

I'll get the ball rolling.
My wife is very generous, gifts, holidays, treats... she is less giving with hugs, kisses, and affection in general. It's just how she was raised. To be honest, I'd take the general affection any day over gifts etc, but at least I know she loves me.

redmillhouse · 25/03/2023 16:09

Don't know if this is for real, but anyway. No, because neither of us really go in for the whole "expensive gifts" kind of thing.

AudTheDeepMinded · 25/03/2023 16:11

Can you not go clothes shopping yourself? Or is that a job for the laydees?

Beaglesonlyplease · 25/03/2023 16:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PortmeirionTiles · 25/03/2023 16:14

It’s weird how you can be with someone for 18 years and still see them as a ‘woman’ rather than just a ‘person’. That your friend says something to you about your partner and you immediately think oh that must be a ‘woman thing’ instead of thinking hmmm maybe Lucy is a little bit thoughtless.

Also, nice one going to Mumsnet to ask a question of blokes. I’m not sure exactly what game you’re playing but you could have been a bit more subtle. As it is you get a 2/10 for goadiness. Better luck next time

Original poster
Naoise88 · 25/03/2023 16:14

I do not think it is inequitable. This is my family and I will pay the bills and that makes me feel good, and I enjoy buying my wife and my kids things, it makes my day if I've made their day. Just wondering what's the standard out there? Am I alone?

OP posts:
Original poster
Naoise88 · 25/03/2023 16:17

Clusterfunk - I think I will take that as a backhanded compliment, but journalism is not a profession I hold in high regard and I actually work for a living.

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 25/03/2023 16:20

You aren't going to get a lot of responses from men because this is a site mainly used by women.

I buy my husband presents as money allows. Clothes I think he'll look good in, nice aftershaves. A new watch. Etc. I've booked him a night away on a couple of occasions.

Whooyou · 25/03/2023 16:20

If someone called me the missus I wouldn't buy them anything either - but you do know this is a womans' site for women don't you? I suggest popping yourself off the PistonHeads where you may get someone on your side

HTH

Changeforachange · 25/03/2023 16:21

Buy yourself some jeans with your bonus.

HTH

pncr · 25/03/2023 16:22

Yeah if my partner called me "the missus" I wouldn't buy him anything either.

(I do treat him as it happens. And I pay more of our joint living costs because I earn multiples more than he does)

Rtyt123 · 25/03/2023 16:24

Whooyou · 25/03/2023 16:20

If someone called me the missus I wouldn't buy them anything either - but you do know this is a womans' site for women don't you? I suggest popping yourself off the PistonHeads where you may get someone on your side

HTH

You do know this is a parents site for parents.

HTH

FrankandWalters · 25/03/2023 16:25

Whooyou · 25/03/2023 16:20

If someone called me the missus I wouldn't buy them anything either - but you do know this is a womans' site for women don't you? I suggest popping yourself off the PistonHeads where you may get someone on your side

HTH

Yes, I would swap an Alexander McQueen bag for not being married to a man who didn’t refer to me as ‘the wife’ and ‘the missus’. Any day. Ugh.

SallyWD · 25/03/2023 16:26

I'm a woman but will treat my DH. If I'm out shopping I might buy him a shirt or something or his favourite cake. I do a lot for my DH. It's not just about buying things but showing you care in other ways.

Harping0n · 25/03/2023 16:26

My husband prefers sex to gift. So that’s usually my go to. He seems happy enough.

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