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Original poster

Gentlemen, do your ladies treat you?

90 replies

Naoise88 · 25/03/2023 15:49

So I was talking to my friend recently, we work together and due a bonus in a few days. I was telling him I was going to get the missus (we're married 18 years) an Alexander McQueen handbag and a night away for the both of us. He then said something that rocked me back on my heels. "She buys you nothing mate" and thinking about it, it never really struck me before but its true. Any time I have a bit of money for whatever reason my 1st thought is the wife but I couldn't tell you the last thing she bought me spontaneously or outside of Christmas, my birthday, or from the kids for fathers day. I've been wearing Jeans for so long I'm actually embarrassed to tell you how long I've had them and a t-shirt from 8 years ago. I'm easy going so none of that stuff bothers me but it would be nice to be treated. She probably earns not alot less or the same as me, but i pay all the bills apart from the food shopping and fuel for the cars, so its not like she doesn't have the cash.

What's your experiences? Does your female partner treat you to nights away or the odd no reason gift?

OP posts:
PrettyMaybug · 25/03/2023 18:45

perfectcolourfound · 25/03/2023 16:34

This can't be real. I didn't there were still people alive who referred to their wife as 'the missus'.

If your jeans are a mess, buy new jeans.
If you feel unappreciated by your wife, talk to her.
Don't assume all women are the same.
Don't assume we know your wife better than you.
I'll bet there are things your wife thinks 'I wish he'd do that sometimes' - is ther equity elsewhere in your relationship. Do you do your half of the housework, shopping, present buying, admin, childcare.......?

Yeah this. ^ I am willing to bet that @Naoise88's wife does a LOT more life admin, and housework, and childcare, and cooking, and general grunt work, than HE does.

Also Naoise88, you are keeping a tally of what you're buying your wife, and then getting all butt-hurt and huffy, because what she is buying YOU does not tally with what you buy HER! Hmm

How tragic. What a sad relationship to have. You literally have a Grudge Bank. Bet it's so full that needs a new branch opening.

Your poor wife. You sound like really hard work.

UWhatNow · 25/03/2023 18:45

Naoise88 · 25/03/2023 17:11

This gave me a chuckle, you probably need a wee nap after all those mental gymnastics.

All I asked was "does your wife/partner treat you"?

Show quote history

You think half a dozen short statements constitutes ‘mental gymnastics’? 🙄

If you want an opinion, why not talk to your mate? He seems to be the font of all knowledge when it comes to what all of us women do and think.

Gatekeeper · 25/03/2023 18:46

What a load of shite

Pipiste · 25/03/2023 18:50

We’re a bit different to you as we both earn pretty much the same and get the same bonus. We pool or our money, so if we want something we will buy it. We tend to save presents for birthdays and Christmas. If we were constantly buying each other gifts, I think it would take it away from special occasions - also it sounds exhausting!!

Mammyloveswine · 25/03/2023 19:00

My husband is shit... I've just booked a holiday in sorrento as a surprise for his 40th next year... will see if he puts the effort in for my 40th... doubt it..

FictionalCharacter · 25/03/2023 19:01

Naoise88 · 25/03/2023 18:10

Just for clarification as some people are skipping the question, Does your wife buy you things? I appreciate the 3 or 4 people that have been able to read the 1st post, answer and not get distracted by their own insecurities.... and jeans....

I wonder why all the dozens of men who regularly check MN to answer questions like yours aren’t engaging? How dare they “skip the question”! If only there was a way for you to get answers to questions like this without going on a parenting website predominantly used by women.

Buzzinwithbez · 25/03/2023 19:25

"the wife"?

Yeah I think I'm pretty kind and thoughtful to the old man.

Rogue1001MNer · 25/03/2023 19:36

FictionalCharacter · 25/03/2023 19:01

I wonder why all the dozens of men who regularly check MN to answer questions like yours aren’t engaging? How dare they “skip the question”! If only there was a way for you to get answers to questions like this without going on a parenting website predominantly used by women.

Show quote history

I suspect this is the consequence of mnhq getting rid of the sex chat/hook up thread.

They're diversifying

LadyFlumpalot · 25/03/2023 20:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

FrankandWalters · 25/03/2023 20:51

Rogue1001MNer · 25/03/2023 19:36

I suspect this is the consequence of mnhq getting rid of the sex chat/hook up thread.

They're diversifying

Show quote history

Ah. A penny drops.

Antiquiteas · 26/03/2023 08:29

Naoise88 · 25/03/2023 18:01

Well staying on topic would be nice instead of trying to reframe what I said. Good ol' Jim, he had some great moments, thank you.

Show quote history

Jim Davidson had some great moments?

His least worst was when he was scripted to fuck on Big Break, but all the sexism, racism, demanding disabled audience members be removed, disability and weight mocking, homophobia and domestic violence rather undid that, wouldn’t you say?

I’m out. Good luck to your ‘missus’.

Mercyovermerit · 26/03/2023 08:33

Pixiedust1234 · 25/03/2023 15:59

Women don't express their love and respect with money. Its with the little day to day things, not grand gestures.

Do you do any of the little love things that make her feel special too?

That’s quite a generalisation there. Of course, some women do. I do.

Naunet · 26/03/2023 09:22

PortmeirionTiles · 25/03/2023 16:14

It’s weird how you can be with someone for 18 years and still see them as a ‘woman’ rather than just a ‘person’. That your friend says something to you about your partner and you immediately think oh that must be a ‘woman thing’ instead of thinking hmmm maybe Lucy is a little bit thoughtless.

Also, nice one going to Mumsnet to ask a question of blokes. I’m not sure exactly what game you’re playing but you could have been a bit more subtle. As it is you get a 2/10 for goadiness. Better luck next time

This, plus it’s you’re looking for male opinions, wrong site mate.

Scrumbleton · 26/03/2023 13:56

I treat DH all the time - today third row seats to a v popular west end show also Michelin star lunch on Tues- to thank him for his help on a major family project. At Christmas I paid for a lovely long haul holiday. I'm a lot better off than him and we split bills evenly to avoid him feeling kept in any way - very happy to be able to treat him as he is the best DH ever - I'm grateful to him every day after by awful previous husband

ShandaLear · 26/03/2023 14:29

You need her to buy you jeans and a t shirt? Really? Hopefully she’s aware that you’re a grown ass man and perfectly capable of buying your own clothes and it sounds like you’re not bothered about wanting stuff. How would your mate even be aware that she focuses gift giving on Christmas and birthdays anyway? You get gifts twice a year. That’s not bad going and most people are happy with that.

My DP and I buy each other gifts - usually gig tickets or weekends away, but we earn similar amounts and don’t need childcare. We do equal amounts of life admin, share cooking and housekeeping responsibilities.

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