Upset about DH comments and weight - feeling so down

[Bluebelle82]

I am in my 40s, 5.5" and size 12 / BMI 27 - short legs so I always look a bit stocky. I have the usual story - I put on 1.5 stone after 2xDC and have wobbly arms and a bit of mum-tum. My DH is very lean and fit. I have lost 0.5 stone over the last few years and am aiming to shed another stone. I keep saying this whenever asked but It has been very up and down - I struggle with addiction to sugar.

Anyway, I wore a pair of trousers today which maybe weren't the most flattering and DH is now demanding that I give him a plan of how I am going to loose more weight because "he needs to know". He says he can't stay married to someone who is fat.

I feel like such a failure. I don't know what to say. I feel like there is now this deadline hanging over me and I am going to fail. I don't know what to tell him!
The other thing that makes me sad is that I saw some photos of myself taken 15 years ago when at the time I felt equally unattractive and stodgy because of unkind things people had said - and now I look at the photos think I looked lovely. I feel so sad about how I felt at the time.

I want to loose the weight for me - I genuinely want to go back to being fit and healthy. But I hate the thought that my marriage depends on this. Also, can a 40+ year old woman ever fully loose the tummy after two pregnancies in later 30s. Any advice out there? Or anyone who can just cheer me up?

Try Zoe if possible. It’s changed my life.

I'm 5.5, I have a bmi of 26.6, I'm 11 stone 6 pound and a size14. And according to the NHS calculator I am over weight. I'd need to have a bmi of under 25 to be considered healthy weight.

Your husband can dislike your weight gain and even ask you to tackle it. But ultimately it's your choice, if you are happier being the weight you are and having treats. (Like you I'd need to have about 1500 cal per day to lose 1-2 pound a week) then tell him. He can then do whatever he chooses from there. If you want to lose weight then ask him for support not judgement.

My dh got super healthy over lockdown and lost 4 stone. He is now very slim and weighs less than me. He does encourage healthy eating and exercise for us both but he doesn't judge me or expect me to lose weight. He also understands that women on their forties have hormones and body changes to battle with so we are not in the same place.