Sexist comment or am I overreacting?

[JollieJullie]

I went on a first date yesterday with a 42 years old man. We got on very well, I believe there was mutual attraction, conversation was great and we already have a second date scheduled.

However, he made a comment at some point that is not sitting right with me. I'd love to hear other people's perspectives on it.

We were talking about pur favorite wines and I said that mine is Amarone. He disagreed with me and said he is not a fan because it is too sweet. He then said "it is a women's wine". I feel like there was an implied demeaning tone in this comment, like it is a wine that is only good enough for silly women who can't appreciate real wine? I also don't like it when people talk about women (or men) as a monolithic entity with no nuances for individuality.

I didn't say anything in the moment and then the conversation moved on. He didn't say anything else that I found problematic for the rest of the night.

Would you be annoyed by this comment? Am I being too rigid about it? Perhaps it was just a poorly thought joke. I am not sure really.

I will meet him again and observe if he makes other similar remarks but I am interested in hearing other people's opinions on this. Thanks!

Well, he didn't say it in a very good way, but men and women's brains experience taste differently. There is a lot of scientific research about it.

I agree with @RoseslnTheHospital, I'd never say any of those things because those remarks would be... sexist

And that research isn't conclusive about very much at all. There aren't such massive differences that would justify saying things like "whisky is for distinguished gentlemen".

scoobycute those aren't really like for like comparisons though. It would be more like the OP saying that she doesn't like pink lemonade, because it's too savoury and therefore a guys drink.

She'd clearly be talking nonsense and be behaving dismissively for no good reason.

Ask him his thoughts on transgender women in sport. It will give you some ideas.

Likely (and I didn't hear the delivery), he was insulting you. 'It's a women's wine' is dismissive. It's lesser. Too sweet. Not proper wine.

So that would be my objection, rather than the sexism (also problematic). On a first date, he's insulting your opinion and taste. Run away.

(He's also wrong about Amarone. Which is not sweet.)

I'd go out with him again and order a pint of Guinness to see what remarks that elicits.

@RoseslnTheHospital @JollieJullie even as a joke?! Come on most comedians (male and female) say far worse! People can't even make light-hearted comments/jokes now days without being condemned as sexist.

Why the sudden veer into comedy? What about this makes you think this chap was intending his statement as a joke? Or that the examples you gave were meant to be funny and joking?

Joking about it because it's an obviously stereotyped load of nonsense is not the same as making a genuine statement.

Sexist jokes are still sexist, even if they are a joke. The fact that they are not meant to be taken literally/ seriously doesn't mean they are not based on sexist stereotypes.

OP originally said "Perhaps it was just a poorly thought joke" So forgive me for considering the possibility that this man has said it as a joke.

My take on it is, given the context, that it was perhaps said in a jokingly manner. Ok granted not a hilarious joke but light-hearted.

Don't really understand threads where the OP asks "am I overreacting?" and "interested to hear other people's opinions" when in reality that's not the case at all 🙈