To want to move back to UK but I'm homeless

[Gatesy11]

I left London 12 years ago and live in Ireland.
I am in the process of leaving an abusive marriage and I would like to move back to London. But I'm homeless, no money, no job and no family. If I go back will the council help me or say no because I left to live in Ireland? I have 2 children. I want to get away from husband and I hate it here. But I'm wondering would I get any help?

I imagine OP is thinking that getting the children out of an abusive household is in their best interests 🙄

speak to an abusive service in your area, I left the IOM taking my child who was born there out of the country after my ex served me with an injunction as he knew what I was about to do. The judge did not uphold the injunction as I could demonstrate DV and I just had to give details of where my son would be residing and he was classed as a ward of court for a short period of time

You want to jump too many steps at once there. You could find yourself in a really bad position by not playing the long game. You really need a 2 year plan to do this:

1. Leave your husband
2. File for divorce, get some alimony
3. Find a job (preferably somewhere with a London office) and somewhere to live in Ireland
4. Save up the money you need for deposit on a London flat
5. Apply for jobs in London
6. When you get one, find somewhere to live in London

I am sorry to hear this OP.
If you have children under 18 they will put you up somewhere, although they might instead give you the fare back to Ireland. If your children are adults or you came alone then they do not have to help you.
I am sorry.

You could ring Southall Black Sisters, they are used to dealing with abused women who are British but living abroad. They can advise about the legalities. You do not have to be black to ring for advice. Alternatively ring Rights of Women also in London. They can advise on the legalities.

And there are different rules around women who are being abused, but I do not know enough to advise.

ROI is part of the common travel area so it doesn't matter that its not part of the UK. But they might find you not habitually resident but if you have evidence you are fleeing DV this might change.
They will provide you with some help but maybe just advice. You might be best to think about going somewhere out of London though - they are very stretched. If fleeing DV you shouldn't need a local connection to the area you apply in.
Shelter website has useful info on what to do when escaping DV. and try womens aid websites.

Irish person here.
You cannot take Irish children, out of the Irish Republic without the permission of the other parent. The Hague Convention applies.

You say you are married - if so then his parental rights apply equally - however if you weren't married, it's a simple matter of him getting them formally in court. Unless they had a compelling reason not to grant him those, it's a fairly automatic process.

However, I personally found Womens' Aid extremely helpful. If you are in the West of Ireland, it's worth talking to them: www.copegalway.ie/domestic-abuse-service/modh-eile-house/ If not, I'm sure that they would happily refer you to a more local agency that will help you. While there is a housing crisis here, there are still supports for women and children fleeing DV. As well as that, social welfare benefits here are better than in the UK I think.

It might be that you need to leave safely first, and when you've fully separated you can work on moving you and the kids back to the UK, properly and legally but for now, the important thing is safety for you all. You've done amazingly well deciding that you need to leave. For now, set the future jobs/house issues to one side and start with a phone call to any of the DV agencies to see what can be done for you, and also the Gardai - the DV agency might have a specialist section of the Gardai for you to liaise with.

Moving a child from Ireland to the UK without consent of the other parent or a court order is child abduction under the Hague Convention. You can see it confirmed here on the Irish Government's website (down at th bottom):

https://www.gov.ie/en/publication/a2b4f-family-law/

However, there is a developing area of eU law around protection of women and children from violence which recognises that the Hague Convention unfairly discriminates against expat women trying to go home to escape domestic violence. I've no idea what the post brexit UK position is. OP you'd need to seek proper legal advice on this.

https://www.intersentiaonline.com/publication/domestic-violence-and-parental-child-abduction/1

Where do people get such nonsense?

Divorce can take up to 3 years in Ireland and cost each side 10k plus. Alimony isn't a thing that exists. Finding a job without a home, and childcare is extremly hard. There's a housing crisis. A deposit on a London falt would be huge, and finding a job in London from Ireland very hard to do..

and on top of all that, OP still cannot take her children out of Ireland without the relevant permissions to do so.

And if one more person mentions the CTA, I will scream

I am posting about help with housing and the CTA - not the stuff around the right to remove the children. You need to get specialist advice about that from a DV advisor in the ROI.

If your partner is violent, or likely to be violent, do NOT tell him you’re planning on leaving. Once a partner knows any violence is likely to escalate.Speak to Women’s Aid and get their advice, they’re the experts.
I’d say if you’re safety is at risk get out with the kids and if he wants to pursue you through the courts let him do it.

Common Travel Area does not cover removal of children without consent.

'Habitualyl resident' applies to people coming into the Common Travel Area not those travelling within it.

ROI is part of the common travel area so it doesn't matter that its not part of the UK. But they might find you not habitually resident but if you have evidence you are fleeing DV this might change.

@Fluffyhoglets Not true. See here: www.treoir.ie/child-abduction-information/
The common travel area gives people the right to live work and study in the CTA. It's nothing to do with children:
https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/government_in_ireland/ireland_and_the_uk/common_travel_area_between_ireland_and_the_uk.html

@Fluffyhoglets the CTA is merely a courtesy between two nations. It does not trump the fact that the UK are two completely separate nations with different currency, laws etc... You can't just hop from one to another with no admin. For example, in the UK you need a NI number. In Ireland that number has no relevance whatsoever and you need to register to get a PPS number. Taking children who are Irish citizens out of Ireland is not easy.

Hello @Gatesy11 we're sorry to hear about what you're going through. Help is available if you want to leave this man. Please contact Women's Aid Ireland on 1800 341 900. It's a freephone, 24 hour helpline. If you're near Dublin, there's a free drop in legal advice service at the Family Law Courts. You can also find services by county here.

If you need any further help or information, please drop us a line at contactus@mumsnet.com

We're going to move your thread to Relationships now as many posters there will have been where you are now and can offer support. Best wishes from MNHQ.

I’d stay in Ireland and file for divorce but maybe try to move to another town/village, get a job if you haven’t got one already and sort out contact via court orders in Ireland.

There’s no way judging by the advice given here that I’d move back to England. You’ll get a b&b at the very least.

Try to get support from friends and family in Ireland and can you or your family visit each other in Ireland and in England?

It is great to read all the support being freely given here. Even though some of it may not be fully correct it shows great empathy and I hope with all the links to DV services in Ireland that OP gets to a safe place, wherever that may be.

Even with the problems in Ireland, you're far better off as a single parent there than in the UK. There's no universal credit type system, its much more straightforward with far more you can claim.

This is just not true. My cousin (English) married and Irish man and moved to Ireland, after a few years and affairs (hers) she went back to England for a 'few days' with her children, unknown to her husband she had told her family they'd split up and her parents had paid for her to rent an apartment, got the kids enrolled in school etc. Big shock when the police turned up because her husband reported her, she's back in Ireland now and has agreed to stay there until the children are finished school. Unless the op is referring to Northern Ireland which is part of the UK moving the children will require the fathers permission (I don't know if it's possible to move children from Northern Ireland without permission). I remember how upset my aunt and uncle were because they knew their daughter was totally in the wrong, they ended up financing her moving back to Ireland as well, lots of family drama. The op should contact women's aid in Ireland, report the abuse and get as much help as she can.

Ireland is a different country.

Radical notion I know. Not as if we fought about and for that for years and years or anything.

This post is wrong.

I have clarified i was talking about housing and homelessness rights and eligibility for housing advice. Then the CTA is relevant.
I should have made my initial post clearer that I wasn't talking about the moving the children element of the query.

I really hope you manage to leave this man and stay safe op. Please do get advice about how to stay safe from the resources in the links provided.