To want to move back to UK but I'm homeless

[Gatesy11]

I left London 12 years ago and live in Ireland.
I am in the process of leaving an abusive marriage and I would like to move back to London. But I'm homeless, no money, no job and no family. If I go back will the council help me or say no because I left to live in Ireland? I have 2 children. I want to get away from husband and I hate it here. But I'm wondering would I get any help?

Republic. I didn't know about needing permission because it's not something I've looked in to before. Yes I'll contact an abuse charity and go from there. I'm from London originally so I feel like I'm just going home but appreciate that lots of people are born and have stayed in London and have housing needs too. Maybe I've romanticised moving home a bit and need to think a bit more rationally. Thanks for the advice

@ijustneedanamefgs Can't believe there are still people who think 'Ireland and the UK are linked' but...no, they aren't.

I'm assuming since the title is 'move back to the UK' that the OP is in the republic.

OP, The Hague convention means you can't move your children without their father's consent, and yes there have been cases between Ireland and the UK where children have been returned.

And no she can't just move to Belfast - Northern Ireland is a different legal jurisdiction.

In the first instance, call Women's Aid for support. 1800 341 900. They'll listen and let you unload. It is horrible feeling trapped. But there will be a lot going on for you, so start at the beginning and get support leaving the relationship.

Theirs is little emergency housing in London. Londoners who are homeless are being sent to any part of the country, and the choice they have is accept or you’re on your own.

Time in temp accommodation varies from months to years depending on what is available. It’s normal at around 6 months if not housed permanently to be put into another temp accommodation.

To stay in London as homeless you need strong ties including work. I have 2 friends in this travesty at the moment and been like this for the past 3 years at least.

As PPs have said Women's Aid can house you temporarily and help you get in your feet . Good luck. You are very brave.

I don’t think you need permission any more than moving your child away from an area where their child is. Which usually involves them filing with the court to prevent it. My friend took her ds home over here no bother away from the abusive father. You don’t need a passport or anything between Uk and Ireland etc. You could contact and ask to be put in a shelter in the north. That way you could get your benefits all sorted before asking to be transferred over. They paid all her and her sons flights, transport etc. Do you have links in London? Any family or friends etc?

Is there any chance you could try to apply for a job in London? It will much easier to find somewhere to live with a job offer.

If you had left the country with the kids and without his permission then it would be classed as kidnapping and the police would have returned the children to their father as they are considered normally resident in Ireland. It's a good job that you discussed your situation on here before ending up in trouble OP. Good luck

This

Of course they are linked. The uk and Ireland are all a common travel area and you need no permissions to move between them in regards to living or work etc. Moving a child away from their father is a different situation but as I said, no different than moving them to a new area.

This. Report him when possible to the gardai and if you don't feel comfortable make a written record of what happened and photograph any injuries. Have you any friends over here in ireland that you can turn to? I'm so sorry this is happening to you

The Republic of Ireland and the UK are the Common Trave Area. Different rules apply to people from both the EU and other parts of the world. You don't need a passport for example to move between the countries. OP please contact whatever the equivalent of Women's Aid is in the Republic, ask for advice, but in an emergency please just leave and contact whoever would deal with emergency housing where you are.

This is a woman, with children, in an abusive marriage. She needs advice and support, not a patronising put down basically telling her to put up with it.

Exactly.

Some of you posting are just outright horrid. It's like you think your opinion is so bloody important that you simply must post it, regardless of if you have a clue or not! Never mind the fact you're only posting vile crap for the sake of it. Looking at you @jenjenlinks you're a disgrace.

If you're in Northern Ireland it's in the UK that means you can take the kids elsewhere in the UK.

It sounds like you need a plan OP. Starting with reporting your husband each and every time he abuses you. To move back you're probably going to have to do it in steps.

I'd probably take London off your list for a bit and look somewhere else though. Save London for later when you're sorted.

@ijustneedanamefgs you're very wrong. If you are an Irish or a British citizen, you have certain entitlements under the common travel area. But it's not as all-encompassing as you suggest, and anyone from another EU country or a third country. would not have the same entitlements. There are a lot of areas - entitlement to child benefit, tax, entitlement to supports e.g. with housing - where things are extremely different. You're talking about different health systems, education systems, electoral systems, currency. The idea there's no difference between moving from Bristol and Birmingham and Dublin and Belfast is patently untrue. I've moved between both jurisdictions and on one occasion worked in one while living in the other and it is nowhere near as straightforward as you make it sound.

And specifically relating to the OP: she can't leave the jurisdiction without permission, and if she tried, she could get herself into a world of trouble. However there are supports available to her, and her children.

Is it impossible he would grant permission OP? I think there is a lot you would potentially have to do, for example find schools, that means even if he did it would be a complicated move. But the most important thing is you've been through a challenging time and you're doing the difficult part now by leaving. It may be even if your goal is to move home having some space to plan and get yourself together is worthwhile first.

Start at the beginning OP.

Contact the police and report the abuse. Contact women's shelters (or similar) and homelessness charities, they should be able to give you a starting point.

And consider other places in the UK - you'll struggle with London, what about further north?

Are you in a rural area OP? If so then it can be close knit and isolating to an outsider sometimes. If so have you considered moving to another area in ROI like a large town or city? I know housing is at a premium but as others have said Women's Aid or equivalent, plus Citizens Advice will give you support and information.

The Hague Convention says that you can't take your dcs away from the state where they habitually reside to another state, if the other parent agrees, unless you have a court order allowing you to do so. So if the father doesn't object, you'll be able to do it. If he objects, you'll have to go to court and you may not win.

Women's Aid exists in Ireland too - try talking to them or to another Irish domestic abuse agency, as they are best placed to advise you on the local situation.

Break it down into two issues:
a) Can you leave him? Yes, you can and should. There is support in Ireland too. This should be the short-term priority.
b) Can you move to London? This may or may not be possible, depending on how much the father opposes it. This is a longer-term question that you can focus on once you and your dcs are safe.

Sorry, my first sentence should have said "if the other parent doesn't agree".

Yes I accept if she’s from a different country originally it may be different which why I asked if she was originally from London.
I don’t know the legal ins and outs and she needs proper advice. I know as a uk/Irish citizen I and anyone here can move/work freely between the uk and Ireland as a common travel area. So all this talk of kidnapping and taking out of the country etc when she is trying to get away from an abusive relationship is not helpful imo. Hopefully she contacts women’s aid or an alternative.

No it doesn't. I moved from the Uk to Northern Ireland. You can't move your child further than 50 miles in the UK without the other parents permission.

Also law relating to a lot of matters is very different in NI than England.

OP please get some legal advice. The last thing you need is giving him ammunition against you.

Also, women cannot just take their children from NI to the republic or vice versa. It may be a common travel area but that doesn't matter. As I said I was speaking with women about this exact type of situation last week.

Ijust, yes, there is a common travel area. But there's another piece of law, called the Hague Convention, which sets the rules for taking children out of the state where they normally live. You do need to be careful about saying things that are legally incorrect.