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Original poster

Ex demanding money from me

34 replies

Alicew00 · 13/03/2023 19:04

We split up because he turned out to be disrespectful and didn't care about anyone but himself....the week before we split up he gave me some money to put on gas/heating, food and bills and also 100 towards a trip I was going on with my family. So in total 250. I can only afford to pay back the 100 which he originally asked back for. But he wants it all back. I have just had my car fixed and I am due to pay childcare fees. Its depressing me so much. I told him I can pay back so much each week or month but he is demanding it all in a week when I get paid. I just can't do it.
:( What do I do.

OP posts:
Newusernameaug · 13/03/2023 19:08

Are they his children and was the contribution towards food and utilities he was using?
if yes to either of the above then just give him the £100 and tell him to jog on!

Starlitestarbright · 13/03/2023 19:08

You owe him the money borrow off family if you need to but you broke up with him.

category12 · 13/03/2023 19:14

If it was a gift at the time, he's no right to be demanding it back. Either tell him to whistle for it, or pay him back at a rate you can afford.

If it was given as a loan, then pay him back at a rate you can afford.

Do not put yourself into financial difficulties for the sake of it.

DelphiniumBlue · 13/03/2023 19:14

Was the rest of the money a payment in advance, or a contribution for bills already incurred? If he's already had the benefit of the heat/light/food/roof over his head then I wouldn't give it back.

category12 · 13/03/2023 19:15

Yeah, and if it was a contribution as he was living with you, tell him to whistle.

Original poster
Alicew00 · 13/03/2023 19:18

Yes he'd already had the benefits of living with me under my roof, eating my food, using my electric and gas, wasn't a loan, was a gift and to help with that living with me.

OP posts:
Allblackeverythingalways · 13/03/2023 19:20

If it was towards his keep, I'd block and ignore.

Newusernameaug · 13/03/2023 19:21

I’d keep all of it if he’d been living with you Free and not contributing

BruceAndNosh · 13/03/2023 19:21

Send him a backdated bill for his cocklodging

category12 · 13/03/2023 19:22

Alicew00 · 13/03/2023 19:18

Yes he'd already had the benefits of living with me under my roof, eating my food, using my electric and gas, wasn't a loan, was a gift and to help with that living with me.

Then let him whistle for it.

gamerchick · 13/03/2023 19:22

Just block him. Pay him back what you agreed and tell him to swivel. What exactly is he going to do?

Original poster
Alicew00 · 13/03/2023 19:26

Haha okay awesome! He can swivel!

OP posts:
CombatBarbie · 13/03/2023 19:26

Alicew00 · 13/03/2023 19:18

Yes he'd already had the benefits of living with me under my roof, eating my food, using my electric and gas, wasn't a loan, was a gift and to help with that living with me.

Then unless there's a signed written agreement that it's a loan then he's not a leg to stand on. I'd send him an invoice for rent, food, bills for the period he was living with you.....

billyt · 13/03/2023 23:05

Starlitestarbright · 13/03/2023 19:08

You owe him the money borrow off family if you need to but you broke up with him.

You the ex?

Naunet · 14/03/2023 08:50

Starlitestarbright · 13/03/2023 19:08

You owe him the money borrow off family if you need to but you broke up with him.

Ridiculous!

Don’t pay him a penny OP, it’s called rent, the little boy needs to learn he has to pay his way in life.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 14/03/2023 08:57

Block him. If he's not your children's dad no need to ever speak to him again.
Call it rent and forget about it.

purpledalmation · 14/03/2023 09:28

Offer to pay £10 per month. His only option is then to take you to a small claims court, but as you are paying already he won't get anywhere. Ignore the twat

Snugglemonkey · 14/03/2023 09:34

Alicew00 · 13/03/2023 19:18

Yes he'd already had the benefits of living with me under my roof, eating my food, using my electric and gas, wasn't a loan, was a gift and to help with that living with me.

You don't owe him money.

BMW6 · 14/03/2023 09:45

Send him an itemised bill for his cocklodging time.
He can deduct what you owe him from that.

MyriadOfTravels · 14/03/2023 10:00

So it was basically money to contribute for the running of the house?
Me think he has git too used to being a cocklodger and not having to pay his way.

Just ignore him. He is trying it in. Just like he did when he lived with you.

Original poster
Alicew00 · 14/03/2023 10:10

I won't give him any. He keeps emailing me after blocking him on everything. He said I'm the bad one, then this morning says he misses me and another saying please reply to him. I'm ignoring him.
I feel nothing. He's disrespectful and a twat.

OP posts:
Newestname002 · 14/03/2023 10:32

Alicew00 · 14/03/2023 10:10

I won't give him any. He keeps emailing me after blocking him on everything. He said I'm the bad one, then this morning says he misses me and another saying please reply to him. I'm ignoring him.
I feel nothing. He's disrespectful and a twat.

Can you mark his email as junk so it goes into your junk folder so his emails are not in your in box? Then you can either read them from there at your leisure or just do a block delete of everything in your junk folder? 🌹

Original poster
Alicew00 · 14/03/2023 10:41

Yes, I'll report them as spam and mark as junk 🙂

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 14/03/2023 11:06

Sounds like he's only using money as a control tactic.

Have you told him to stop contacting you? Might be wise to put that in writing (via text or email so you have proof you've told him to leave you alone). Still I suppose it's pretty evident if he's sending a gazillion messaged without reply.

Don't be slow to go to the police if he's still bothering you in a week or so...or if at any point you feel at risk.

Original poster
Alicew00 · 14/03/2023 14:48

He keeps sending emails and I send them to spam and junk bit keep coming through inbox. Keeps saying he wants the full lot of money aswell and that I'm a terrible person, mother, messing with his head. But I'm not replying to any of them.

OP posts: