So I’ve been seeing a guy for 8 months. I suppose it’s casual as we’re not officially girlfriend/boyfriend but we are good friends and really get on. We go out, have dinners together, stay over etc. Both 40s.
All I got on my birthday was a text to say happy birthday. He didn’t ask to see me or offer to take me out or anything. I’m so disappointed and feel crappy. I thought I meant more to him than a text. It’s not that he can’t afford to get me anything or take me out, he can. Even inviting me for dinner round his (which he has plenty of times before) would have been nice.
I feel I need to say something but not sure what as I don’t want to come across as needy or materialistic. It’s the thought that counts and this doesn’t feel like much thought.
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Relationships
Disappointed with just getting a text on my birthday
Justlovecandles · 09/03/2023 02:40
Justlovecandles · 19/03/2023 17:42
I feel quite sad reading everyone’s replies to this 😔.
he’s so lovely in other ways and phoned me this week after a really busy day as I texted him to say I was struggling with something.
I guess I need to have a think ☹️
Justlovecandles · 19/03/2023 17:42
I feel quite sad reading everyone’s replies to this 😔.
he’s so lovely in other ways and phoned me this week after a really busy day as I texted him to say I was struggling with something.
I guess I need to have a think ☹️
AviMav · 21/03/2023 20:36
OP. The man isn't interested, you are a last minute plan. Why is your child meeting your fuck buddy. Honestly you've had to come to MN but he certainly won't be doing this for you.
Your pro list is what you can get from ANY other man on Hinge. I mean this kindly. Wake up woman!
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Justlovecandles · 21/03/2023 19:38
So another update…
I can’t stop thinking about this.
Am starting to see that a lot of his actions are low effort. I’ve made myself a pros and cons list. Please don’t criticise me for doing this… I’ve already done it:
Pros:
- Enjoy his company
- He’s been very kind and generous whenever we do get together.
- Sex is great
- Nice warm feelings I haven’t had for years
Cons:
- I initiate majority of meet ups
- He didn’t do anything to show me I was special on birthday which left me disappointed
- As it stands, we have no dates planned for the future, and recently all our meet ups are last minute.
- I feel like he only wants to see me when he has nothing else on
- I never know when he’s going to be in touch which makes me feel anxious.
- He has told me that we are just 2 people who get on and enjoy each others company.
He hasn’t been in touch for a couple of days. I last saw him 4 days ago, we all went out for tea with our sons (as friends, they obviously don’t know all the details).
Now what? I suspect if I leave it he will be in touch in the next few days asking how I am etc. - not to meet up but just to check in.
I don’t know what to say or do. I feel unimportant and a bit crappy on one hand…. But I also don’t want to be unfair to him and wonder if I should be honest about how I feel and see how he responds
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