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Original poster

Any tips for having a partner who’s an entrepreneur

85 replies

Moonchild009 · 04/03/2023 03:20

My bf is a business owner and a lot of time we we may not see eachother for weeks (we live 40 mins apart), he may have financial issues, he isn’t as emotionally available, we won’t have sex, he is very stressed etc. I want to support him but it feels like my needs are being compromised. This is my first time being with an entrepreneur and it’s difficult to tell if my feelings are valid or im overreacting. Does anyone have any advice on how to stay afloat and being reasonable in this type of situation?

OP posts:
Nelly10 · 04/03/2023 04:03

I’m just divorcing an ‘entrepreneur’ we have two kids he was never an available physically or emotionally throughout the marriage everything and everyone connected to his work was always priority over us, multiple affairs etc. Honestly it’s a very lonely life I would get out now whilst you don’t have many attachments.

Nosleepforthismum · 04/03/2023 04:03

Well, his job aside it doesn’t really sound like much of a relationship if you’re only seeing him every few weeks, not having sex and no emotional intimacy either. How long have you been together?

What is his business in? Is it a new, fledgling business that he’s trying to get off the ground or an established business that has run into financial difficulties?

MiddleParking · 04/03/2023 04:17

What’s the point?

Dinersaur · 04/03/2023 04:38

Just don't do it. Walk away.

garlictwist · 04/03/2023 04:44

My husband run his own business. I always think it's a bit like what princess diana said - there are three of us in the relationship: him, me and the (bloody) business.

He works very hard and I am very proud of what he has achieved. And I think you have to accept that a lot of life will be dominated by work as a result.

It's certainly not the easy option. Give me my paid annual leave and weekends any day!

Donnashair · 04/03/2023 04:54

I actively avoid dating anyone who calls themselves an ‘entrepreneur’, that’s my best advice. Don’t do it.

The relationship sounds miserable. What are you getting out of it?

FergussSingsTheBlues · 04/03/2023 04:55

I had one of those.
LEAVE

WidthofaLine · 04/03/2023 05:09

I actively avoid dating anyone who calls themselves an ‘entrepreneur’, that’s my best advice. Don’t do it.

This.

Itsallok · 04/03/2023 05:11

Donnashair · 04/03/2023 04:54

I actively avoid dating anyone who calls themselves an ‘entrepreneur’, that’s my best advice. Don’t do it.

The relationship sounds miserable. What are you getting out of it?

Absolutely this. No actual entrepreneur calls themselves one.

WidthofaLine · 04/03/2023 05:19

Itsallok · 04/03/2023 05:11

Absolutely this. No actual entrepreneur calls themselves one.

Show quote history

Even worse if they have it on their Linkedin page 😂

Ikigai22 · 04/03/2023 05:21

sorry for going against the grain here but my partner is an entrepreneur and he's the love of my life. I met him when it'd been a few years since he started his company. Though he works extremely hard, he always makes time for us and contributes a lot at home, to household chores. We spend a lot of quality time together and we've been on month-long holidays. He may have to work on a holiday as well, to touch base with his team, but I also work on a holiday as well. I do love that he's so passionate about his work and trying to change the world for better, his motivation is not just money. We're intellectually compatible as he discusses all the little aspects of his work with me, the highs and lows. I stay in awe of him everyday how he convinced a bunch of wealthy investors to believe in his cause and a brilliant group of people to leave other opportunities and join him. There was a period though when he was burnt out and wanted to leave everything he's created. He needed a lot of support and I suggested he take a sabbatical. One of his colleagues did take a sabbatical. But it was a phase and it passed. He also didn't earn much earlier and I was paying for many things but that phase has also passed and now he's started making a lot. I think you should ask your partner specifically what's stressing him, maybe find a therapist who deals with entrepreneurs, he could also find a mentor to talk to, take complete day offs from work, have some weekday evenings completely switched off as well. Ultimately only he can manage his stress but you can give him the tools and support him. Also, I don't think such stress is limited to entrepreneurs. Plenty of people are equally stressed in their jobs, it's all about how they learn to manage it.

Donnashair · 04/03/2023 05:28

Ikigai22 · 04/03/2023 05:21

sorry for going against the grain here but my partner is an entrepreneur and he's the love of my life. I met him when it'd been a few years since he started his company. Though he works extremely hard, he always makes time for us and contributes a lot at home, to household chores. We spend a lot of quality time together and we've been on month-long holidays. He may have to work on a holiday as well, to touch base with his team, but I also work on a holiday as well. I do love that he's so passionate about his work and trying to change the world for better, his motivation is not just money. We're intellectually compatible as he discusses all the little aspects of his work with me, the highs and lows. I stay in awe of him everyday how he convinced a bunch of wealthy investors to believe in his cause and a brilliant group of people to leave other opportunities and join him. There was a period though when he was burnt out and wanted to leave everything he's created. He needed a lot of support and I suggested he take a sabbatical. One of his colleagues did take a sabbatical. But it was a phase and it passed. He also didn't earn much earlier and I was paying for many things but that phase has also passed and now he's started making a lot. I think you should ask your partner specifically what's stressing him, maybe find a therapist who deals with entrepreneurs, he could also find a mentor to talk to, take complete day offs from work, have some weekday evenings completely switched off as well. Ultimately only he can manage his stress but you can give him the tools and support him. Also, I don't think such stress is limited to entrepreneurs. Plenty of people are equally stressed in their jobs, it's all about how they learn to manage it.

What makes him an entrepreneur and not a business owner?

ShandaLear · 04/03/2023 05:34

His behaviour has very little to do with him being an entrepreneur. It’s got more to do with him not being that into you. Look, if a man likes you, you know it. He makes time for you and treats you well. This one isn’t emotionally available and you don’t have sex. He’s not making you happy. Why would you stay?

laroisenoire123 · 04/03/2023 05:42

The problem with being with someone who calls themselves an "entrepreneur" is that you buy into the dream that they are going to create something amazing, that they are going to strike oil and strike it rich. You buy into the narrative that what you do is mundane, that you must do everything to support them to be an "entrepreneur."

Itsallok · 04/03/2023 06:08

laroisenoire123 · 04/03/2023 05:42

The problem with being with someone who calls themselves an "entrepreneur" is that you buy into the dream that they are going to create something amazing, that they are going to strike oil and strike it rich. You buy into the narrative that what you do is mundane, that you must do everything to support them to be an "entrepreneur."

And the vast majority don't. Most end up in debt or bullshit forever that they are going to be make it one day if you gave them more cash, or others recognised how brilliant they are etc etc.

Itsallok · 04/03/2023 06:08

Donnashair · 04/03/2023 05:28

What makes him an entrepreneur and not a business owner?

Show quote history

Level of bullshit said "entrepreneur"

Itsallok · 04/03/2023 06:10

WidthofaLine · 04/03/2023 05:19

Even worse if they have it on their Linkedin page 😂

Show quote history

Yes, that is even worth. Although LinkedIn is crammed with people who call themselves leadership coaches/ideas merchants/strategists/. Wankfest central

Livelifelaughter · 04/03/2023 06:24

My bf calls himself this and I think he is, he created a business setting selling a service that hadn't been developed before. To be honest I thought it was a bull shit title before I met him.

I would say he honestly doesn't work normal hours but works smart and because he is very organised makes time for us, he may have to get up at the crack of dawn to get things done so he can meet me later in the day or makes calls when we are together but he always tells me what he is doing.

I think with your bf it might help if you understand his work more and it's demands so you can share problems together which in itself creates intimacy.

Interestingly I feel my bf isn't as emotionally connected as he could be which might be because he is often not having the same level of social interaction one gets from most jobs... just a theory.

laroisenoire123 · 04/03/2023 06:25

yes, you partner in the mundane job, ends up broke supporting the entrepreneur. Run for the hills.

StarsSand · 04/03/2023 06:37

I have a level of cynicism for anyone calling themselves an 'entrepreneur'.

If they were getting anywhere they'd say 'I'm managing a tech start up that streamlines payroll' or 'I own a couple of cafes' or whatever.

But 'entrepreneur' means everything and nothing.

OP at the end of the day, it sounds like a dud relationship regardless of the cause.

category12 · 04/03/2023 06:46

Your feelings are always valid. You've identified that he doesn't have time for you, you're expected to accept him being so stressed it impacts your relationship, not having sex much and not having your needs met generally.

So the question is, does this relationship meet your needs? Answer - no.

Is this relationship likely to change? Answer - no, not without intervention or change on his part.

Should you continue in a relationship that doesn't meet your needs? No, (but it's your funeral).

You seem to me to be saying that your needs aren't being met, are they silly needs that should be ignored? And they're not.

Is he open to making time for you and finding better ways to manage his stress rather than you sucking it up?

Otherwise it's your choice - pretend you're being silly to want time effort sex and affection, or say "you know what, I deserve more".

monsterradeliciosa · 04/03/2023 07:40

Google "futurefaking"

rockingbird · 04/03/2023 07:51

Nelly10 · 04/03/2023 04:03

I’m just divorcing an ‘entrepreneur’ we have two kids he was never an available physically or emotionally throughout the marriage everything and everyone connected to his work was always priority over us, multiple affairs etc. Honestly it’s a very lonely life I would get out now whilst you don’t have many attachments.

THIS🙌
I'm also divorcing and entitled entrepreneur who had multiple affairs and many narcissistic ways.. run for the hills.!

Hoppinggreen · 04/03/2023 07:53

I have started 3 companies and never once described myself as an Entrepreneur!
What you have there OP is a common or garden lazy arsed fantasist, get rid

shopmyfeelings · 04/03/2023 07:54

StarsSand · 04/03/2023 06:37

I have a level of cynicism for anyone calling themselves an 'entrepreneur'.

If they were getting anywhere they'd say 'I'm managing a tech start up that streamlines payroll' or 'I own a couple of cafes' or whatever.

But 'entrepreneur' means everything and nothing.

OP at the end of the day, it sounds like a dud relationship regardless of the cause.

Yep. If he described himself like that my fanny would slam shut!