Page 2 | Any tips for having a partner who’s an entrepreneur

piedbeauty · 04/03/2023 08:14

Of course your feelings are valid. Does he say they're not? You feel the way you feel. If the relationship is not making you happy, then rethink it. Or leave it.

piedbeauty · 04/03/2023 08:15

And 'an entrepreneur'... 🤔 Does he call himself this?? Or is he just struggling to get his business off the ground??

AviMav · 04/03/2023 08:20

@Donnashair I'm glad you asked that question because I was wondering the same!
How long have you been together? Is he really that busy OP?

Speaker82 · 04/03/2023 08:53

Moonchild009 · 04/03/2023 03:20

My bf is a business owner and a lot of time we we may not see eachother for weeks (we live 40 mins apart), he may have financial issues, he isn’t as emotionally available, we won’t have sex, he is very stressed etc. I want to support him but it feels like my needs are being compromised. This is my first time being with an entrepreneur and it’s difficult to tell if my feelings are valid or im overreacting. Does anyone have any advice on how to stay afloat and being reasonable in this type of situation?

He's not your boyfriend. I've been involved in start up things and know people running them - they still see the partner at least once or twice a week and stay in contact.

He's using it as an odd excuse to ghost you.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 04/03/2023 08:54

there’s a business opportunity here: coaching for couples where one is an entrepreneur and the other is sick of it 🤔

MLM “entrepreneurs” bug me too, it’s business but not innovation or invention, just following a pretty formula.

Speaker82 · 04/03/2023 09:01

ShandaLear · 04/03/2023 05:34

His behaviour has very little to do with him being an entrepreneur. It’s got more to do with him not being that into you. Look, if a man likes you, you know it. He makes time for you and treats you well. This one isn’t emotionally available and you don’t have sex. He’s not making you happy. Why would you stay?

He could be on the spectrum. That would explain a few things.

Emmamoo89 · 04/03/2023 09:05

Walk away

Zuffe · 04/03/2023 09:08

Donnashair · 04/03/2023 05:28

What makes him an entrepreneur and not a business owner?

Show quote history

^ This.

The successful business owners I know are as passionate and dedicated to their families as they are their businesses or causes. The opposite is often also true.

Original poster

Moonchild009 · 04/03/2023 09:44

To clarify - he is a business owner and has been running and managing his own businesses for 10+ years so he is indeed successful. He is also a photographer, which coincides with the businesses he owns. We’ve been together 2 years and he has opened up a new store within the last 1, so that’s where a lot of the stress has come from and that’s pretty much when it started, when he took on this new venture.
He does not say my feelings are invalid, but me constantly expressing my feelings ultimately creates more stress.

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Zanatdy · 04/03/2023 10:05

I’d end it. He’s never going to change. Life is too short

Donnashair · 04/03/2023 10:06

Moonchild009 · 04/03/2023 09:44

To clarify - he is a business owner and has been running and managing his own businesses for 10+ years so he is indeed successful. He is also a photographer, which coincides with the businesses he owns. We’ve been together 2 years and he has opened up a new store within the last 1, so that’s where a lot of the stress has come from and that’s pretty much when it started, when he took on this new venture.
He does not say my feelings are invalid, but me constantly expressing my feelings ultimately creates more stress.

So your feelings are valid but stop talking about them because it’s stresses him out?

category12 · 04/03/2023 10:08

He does not say my feelings are invalid, but me constantly expressing my feelings ultimately creates more stress.

No, you're saying your feelings are invalid by ignoring them or saying you're overreacting.

Luredbyapomegranate · 04/03/2023 10:08

Honestly just move on.

It’s really hard getting a business going and it’s not really compatible with a personal life.

AgnesX · 04/03/2023 10:08

Donnashair · 04/03/2023 04:54

I actively avoid dating anyone who calls themselves an ‘entrepreneur’, that’s my best advice. Don’t do it.

The relationship sounds miserable. What are you getting out of it?

Agree, totally pretentious.

Luredbyapomegranate · 04/03/2023 10:10

Oh Ok, if it’s not a new business it sounds like he’s possibly a plain old workaholic, who just doesn’t want relationships to be a big thing in his life.

Advice is the sane though - get rid.

KettrickenSmiled · 04/03/2023 10:12

Why are you excusing his many failings by the use of this nebulous word "entrepreneur" OP?

A man who has no time for you, is stressed & emotionally unavailable, & who makes you feel like you are the only one offering compromise is a bad bet as a b/f whether he's a barrister, a binman, or a brewer.

Ditch him, & find one of the millions of men out there who knows how to conduct a relationship.

Shadesofscarlett · 04/03/2023 10:13

so you would rather be with a twat than alone? He sounds awful, entreneur or not. Why do you accept so little?

category12 · 04/03/2023 10:13

Luredbyapomegranate · 04/03/2023 10:10

Oh Ok, if it’s not a new business it sounds like he’s possibly a plain old workaholic, who just doesn’t want relationships to be a big thing in his life.

Advice is the sane though - get rid.

This.

Are you hoping that at some point he'll stop working so hard and have time for you?

You'd be foolish to wait around on that.

Original poster

Moonchild009 · 04/03/2023 10:21

i mean he’s definitely not a twat, not quite sure why you’d think that but I see it as a rough patch which is pretty normal for those who are self employed and I’m hoping it will pass sooner rather than later.

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perfectcolourfound · 04/03/2023 10:22

I would seriously steer clear of anyone who calls themselves an entrepeneur.

What do you / he mean by that?

It tends to be used by people who have lots of ideas and / or failed attempts behind them. People who have an actual business call themselves a business owner or architect or retailer, or whatever it is they actually do. Entrepeneur isn't a job title.

Aside from that, being an 'entrepeneur' doesn't make you busier than any other 'profession'. There are many professions where you work longer hours / might have to keep in touch when you're on holdiday / think of work on your own time. It isn't always good for wellbeing or relationships, but some people have no choice or prirotise their work above their relationships.

If your partner's work is more important than time with you, then you just have to decide if that's what you want. Don't allow yourself to become the one who does all the supporting. This is meant to be a relationshop of 2 equals, who equally support each other and make equal efforts to keep the relationship going well. If his work makes him stressed and unhappy, then he needs to change his work - he's in the wrong job. If he needs support with his MH, he needs to talk to his GP. If he decides to work while he's meant to be with you - take yourself off and do something you want to do.

His job may be dragging him down. It won't do anyone any favours if it drags you down too.

Ooompaloopa · 04/03/2023 10:34

Moonchild009 · 04/03/2023 09:44

To clarify - he is a business owner and has been running and managing his own businesses for 10+ years so he is indeed successful. He is also a photographer, which coincides with the businesses he owns. We’ve been together 2 years and he has opened up a new store within the last 1, so that’s where a lot of the stress has come from and that’s pretty much when it started, when he took on this new venture.
He does not say my feelings are invalid, but me constantly expressing my feelings ultimately creates more stress.

but me constantly expressing my feelings ultimately creates more stress.

He’s got you where he wants you - shut up and put up.

There is no relationship here - there is no kindness, connection and respect.

He sounds chaotic. You deserve better.

Original poster

Moonchild009 · 04/03/2023 10:38

How sweet, thank you for your advice.

he has his own business, managing and running three stores with no team (he’s hired and fired) and it has become very strenuous. This I understand. I’ve been there late nights with him helping him get things done, sat on the phone while he is attending to chores, can see all that is happening but I can’t pretend it’s not impacting our relationship. He is fulfilling his purpose which makes me happy but this time period is quite a stretch and I’m not sure how to best navigate around it.

have taken what you’ve said onboard though @perfectcolourfound

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Ooompaloopa · 04/03/2023 10:44

Moonchild009 · 04/03/2023 10:21

i mean he’s definitely not a twat, not quite sure why you’d think that but I see it as a rough patch which is pretty normal for those who are self employed and I’m hoping it will pass sooner rather than later.

he isn’t as emotionally available, we won’t have sex, he is very stressed etc.

This was your first post. Most likely your reality.

Your subsequent posts are defending him because you don’t like the responses to the Q you asked.

YOU are now invalidating / dismissing your own feelings.

A whole year - the 2nd year in your relationship - is also a clue.

The ‘honeymoon’ phase is over - this is who he is.

Or he likely has someone else.

Or he thinks it’s over and is fading you out.

This isn’t a relationship - are you trying to cling to something deficient with the hope that the glory days will return?

Original poster

Moonchild009 · 04/03/2023 10:44

Our connection does currently feel weaker. He’s the opposite of chaotic, I’m the chaotic one. I don’t Shutup at all, but if I am going to stay there’s no point constantly moaning about the situation which is why I’m here asking for advice on how to manage it.

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Original poster

Moonchild009 · 04/03/2023 10:49

Do you just up and leave when things get rough?

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