Sex with partner with baby sleeping in the same room, acceptable or not?

[Orangesmartie1]

I seem to have opened a can of worms with my previous thread and now I’m interested in opinions? Will probably be another can of worms.

yes or no? Baby sleeping in own cot in the same room which they should be for 6 months.

I’m bottle feeding…..another can of worms!!!!

I wouldn't feel comfortable with it.

There was no way I’d have sex with a baby in the room purely because it would be a huge mood killer for me. But then I’m the sort of person that completely goes off sex for months afterwards anyway. I know not everyone’s the same. If I don’t get enough sleep I can’t even function yet alone think about sex. Thankfully dh is the same and we’ve been together 15 years plus now so we’re clearly doing something right.

I am a bit old school - I’m mid 40s - and I put both of mine (now aged 20 and 11) into their own rooms with a baby monitor from about 4 months. None of us were getting any peace or sleep and I wanted my evenings back so I got them into an early routine of settling after a bath and a bedtime bottle. I’d encourage them to sleep in their cots for daytime naps too (again walking round with the baby monitor) so they came to see the cot as sleep and bed. I’m not saying it’s perfect - my eldest did sleep 12 hours from a very early age, my youngest was a nightmare and didn’t sleep through till about 5! (He went on to be diagnosed with autism so that’s probably a huge part of it). I do understand the sids risk and the link between them hearing you breathe etc but the need for my own mental health, personal space and ability to cope meant for me it was worth the small risk.

So we got our bedroom / own space back quite early on.

I think quiet sex is fine as long as you’re discrete and comfortable with it. As you can see from this thread, not everyone would be but I was and would be.

The fibre comment was a joke.

But yeah, I go to bed with my baby - largely as he cosleeps so sleeps better throughout the night if he starts with a decent stretch which he only gets with me there. Also I like sleeping, and get the longest amount in a row by going to bed early. Also it’s a short season of life to go to bed a bit early with a snuggly baby and a book while DP does all the boring house chores. Sometimes I’ve eaten earlier; sometimes I eat pizza in bed. I’ll be a bit sad when I have to give up my cosy evenings in bed with a baby and a trashy novel in the name of “honestly DP, this is really hard parenting I’m doing right now”.

I have never even considered having the dog in the same room ... wouldn't like to imagine the enthusiasm with which she'd get licking.

Christ yes why not! Mind you mine were in their own rooms at 3 months! Can hear the pearls clutch :)

Much easier than having 4 teens in the house!!!

Yes absolutely.

Good grief, of course it’s fine.

Me too haha I’m 1 month post partum . I could defo do with the sex (and release) but yes , scared lol 😂

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it but I couldn’t relax enough to have a shag, a loudly snuffling and snorting baby was not my idea of a good atmosphere! My DH couldn’t have cared less.

Go with your gut. I've done it once or twice, discreetly. I wasn't 100% though 😐

We couldn't have DDs in the room with us anyway at the cot wouldn't fit and they soon outgrew the Moses basket. They were both in the cot in the next room by 10 weeks as DD1 has so much movement early on that I was worried about her flipping the basket and DD2 was the full length of it at that age. We all slept much better after that as well. So it wasn't an issue, but no, I wouldn't have been comfortable having sex with baby in the room and DH even less so.

It's not an issue, as long as you keep it down, the baby isn't going to be aware of anything.

Well the baby is no more aware then when they were in the womb and you wouldn't not have sex on account of being pregnant..

After my first baby, the stitches from my episiotomy became badly infected, and I still wasn't up for sex at the six week check-up. The male GP was gobsmacked when I said OH and I hadn't resumed sex yet. "Your poor husband!" he said with feeling, and he wasn't joking. 😳

I seem to have accidentally quoted the wrong post there. Sorry.

@Oldnproud doctors are idiots sometimes, considering how intelligent they are!

As long as baby is asleep...

Agree with @WarrickDavisAsPlates

Omg, what a twat! I defo would have put him straight (the doctor, not the husband) lol

& I like my sex…sexy. Not in the pitch black, silent, under the covers with the sound of my baby sleeping feet away.

Do some people never just have a low-key time under the covers? Who can be bothered having a wild night every single time??? Especially after having a baby???

If you’re comfortable with it, it’s fine.

If I was in bed with my then dh, all warm and cosy, snuggling up, and we'd both got turned on, the last thing I'd have wanted to do would have been to have got out of bed, grope my way through the bedroom in the dark without waking baby, gone in the living room and done it on the cold settee. If some people would rather do that, or make sure to schedule sex before bed, then fine for them - each to their own, surely?

I think it's fine.