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Original poster

Sex with partner with baby sleeping in the same room, acceptable or not?

112 replies

Orangesmartie1 · 01/03/2023 12:17

I seem to have opened a can of worms with my previous thread and now I’m interested in opinions? Will probably be another can of worms.

yes or no? Baby sleeping in own cot in the same room which they should be for 6 months.

OP posts:
TheLadyofShalott1 · 01/03/2023 12:58

I know (well actually I don't know, I am only presuming and I am not very keen on presumptions, but I will stick with it this time and hope that it doesn't upset anyone!) that this is not relevant to you @Orangesmartie1,

but around the World in less well off families, Mum, Dad, and their Children all live and sleep in the same room, and Mum and Dad often have several children, and from what I have heard, and seen on the TV, the parents still have sex in the same room as their children - they don't go outside to do so. I know that they sometimes have a curtain blocking them off, but I don't think they always do. However, they usually live and come from a different culture to us.

In the UK I think that most people would think that up to the age of 6 months is fine, as not many babies at that age are going to remember anything. But I would want the baby to be asleep! For those of you who think the whole idea is gruesome, did you have penetrative sex once you were past the 12 week stage of gestation? I did, but I remember thinking that my husband's penis was going to be nudging my womb, and that the baby would feel it and all the other associated sounds and feelings, which I think put me off a bit, but I didn't feel that it was a reasonable reason to not have sex with him.

knittingaddict · 01/03/2023 13:03

I wouldn't think anything of it. A baby isn't going to understand that you are having sex and it doesn't need to be the swinging from the chandaliers type of sex. Relatively discreet sex is surely a vital parental skill.

Lkydfju · 01/03/2023 13:04

@MrsJessePinkmann lots of people….if people don’t fancy it then fine but it’s not unusual

Original poster
Orangesmartie1 · 01/03/2023 13:11

I had a c-section so was unscathed downstairs and healed well. Don’t think mentally I’m too ready tho after trying.

OP posts:
80s · 01/03/2023 13:17

If you don't fancy it then don't do it.
If you don't fancy it because you feel uncomfortable about the baby being there, then don't do it with the baby there.

Are you looking for reasons not to do it because dp is pushing you to do it when you don't want to?

Original poster
Orangesmartie1 · 01/03/2023 13:20

@80s nope not looking for reasons and he’s not pushing it. Just wondering really. I’ve got anaemia and it’s flaring and that makes me feel rotten.

OP posts:
bussteward · 01/03/2023 13:24

I don’t think I felt ready or energised enough to have sex til after six months anyway, so we left the baby napping in our room and did it on the tiny sofa pp dismissed. Wouldn’t have done it earlier with her sleeping in the same room, not for her sake but mine – I just wouldn’t be able to focus. Like having the cat in the room: I just can’t! Just had my second baby and that’s it for sex forever now, far too knackered.

MrsJessePinkmann · 01/03/2023 13:27

Lkydfju · 01/03/2023 13:04

@MrsJessePinkmann lots of people….if people don’t fancy it then fine but it’s not unusual

It was meant tongue & cheek, hence the laughing emoji.

Original poster
Orangesmartie1 · 01/03/2023 13:28

He says he’s tired also when I say I’m way to tired to do it. I think we must have two different types of tired! Although he is awake more or less the same amount of time as me in the night I’m just so much more tired it seems.

OP posts:
MrsJessePinkmann · 01/03/2023 13:32

Orangesmartie1 · 01/03/2023 13:28

He says he’s tired also when I say I’m way to tired to do it. I think we must have two different types of tired! Although he is awake more or less the same amount of time as me in the night I’m just so much more tired it seems.

What about doing other bits and pieces and not focusing on actual sex.

That's what we've been doing since birth 10 months ago.

SpecialK2023 · 01/03/2023 13:35

Ifailed · 01/03/2023 12:29

If we had followed this we'd only have one child.

Me too!

Really don’t see the issue.

Original poster
Orangesmartie1 · 01/03/2023 13:36

@MrsJessePinkmann we’ve done other things, was just kind of including any action in my term sex really.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 01/03/2023 13:37

Orangesmartie1 · 01/03/2023 12:17

I seem to have opened a can of worms with my previous thread and now I’m interested in opinions? Will probably be another can of worms.

yes or no? Baby sleeping in own cot in the same room which they should be for 6 months.

Yes.

80s · 01/03/2023 13:38

So dp's struggling bravely through sex despite his tiredness and wants you to do the same? Tell him to bugger off. Have sex when you want it.

AlwaysLatte · 01/03/2023 13:38

That's the best contraceptive!

Original poster
Orangesmartie1 · 01/03/2023 13:42

@80s hes a man I suppose, didn’t expel the energy to grow the baby or go through major surgery a major bleed then all the hormones and anaemia . It does annoy me when I say Im tired and he says he’s the same. I doubt he is as tired or struggling otherwise he’d pass out in the bed like I do.

OP posts:
mybunniesandme · 01/03/2023 13:42

No I'd find it a bit grubby TBH

SheilaFentiman · 01/03/2023 13:43

Sleeping baby in the room is absolutely fine.

the anaemia is very tiring, don’t do it until you are ready.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 01/03/2023 13:46

It's fine, what is offputting is a cat that starts watching. 😨

defi · 01/03/2023 13:47

I just couldn't get in the mood myself. I'd have to go in another roo.

PointyMcguire · 01/03/2023 13:47

WarrickDavisAsPlates · 01/03/2023 12:53

I would be completely unable to get aroused in the same room as a child and I can't understand how anyone could enjoy anything sexual knowing a child was in the same room.

Can't you just go and have sex in another room?

Same! DH and I actually joked about this after DD’s 6wk check when they brought up contraceptive options. I enjoy sex as much as the next person, but there’s just no way I could get in the mood with DD in the room.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 01/03/2023 13:50

PointyMcguire · 01/03/2023 13:47

Same! DH and I actually joked about this after DD’s 6wk check when they brought up contraceptive options. I enjoy sex as much as the next person, but there’s just no way I could get in the mood with DD in the room.

Show quote history

Agree with this! Definite no from me

louise5754 · 01/03/2023 13:52

WarrickDavisAsPlates · 01/03/2023 12:53

I would be completely unable to get aroused in the same room as a child and I can't understand how anyone could enjoy anything sexual knowing a child was in the same room.

Can't you just go and have sex in another room?

Same

PizzaPastaWine · 01/03/2023 13:53

There isn't a problem with it but I just wouldn't 'get there' IYKWIM...so I'd go in another room.

nonevernotever · 01/03/2023 13:56

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 01/03/2023 13:46

It's fine, what is offputting is a cat that starts watching. 😨

Yup. This. But it isn't really about the location of the baby is it? It's about you feeling ill/tired/not ready.