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Relationships

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What will replace relationships?

102 replies

JoonT · 24/02/2023 22:17

I may be talking nonsense, but it seems to me that the conventional relationship, the one most of us grew up believing was the norm, is less and less popular. Obviously men and women are always going to fall in love, have kids, and commit to the long haul, but that's increasingly one of many options, rather than 'the norm'. The young seem so much more cynical and wary of relationships. I know three people in their early 30s who've never bothered at all. When I was a kid (in the 1980s) that would have been considered odd.

So, my question is (assuming I'm not talking rubbish), what do you think will replace the conventional relationship? Until very recently, women needed men. Today, women can pursue a career, own property, even have children without a male partner. As a consequence, a lot are now asking "what's the point of getting involved with a man at all? If somebody really awesome comes along, great, but if not, I'm not going to 'settle' like my grandmother did"

However, people still want the same old things. They still want love and company and security. They still want somebody there for them when they're old. And they still want sexual intimacy (as opposed to random/casual sex, which is generally unfulfilling). Do you think something new could fill the void?

OP posts:
fdgdfgdfgdfg · 24/02/2023 22:36

Given the rate of progression of artificial intelligence, maybe we'll all be creating our own perfect partners in the next 20 years or so. Couple it with VR, advancements in robotics, who'll ever need a human ever again?

alwaysmovingforwards · 24/02/2023 22:39

Why can't the replacement just be choosing 'being single' and jliving the life you want?

Starseeed · 24/02/2023 22:43

I think we’ll move towards many more self-actualised / individuated people and therefore more fulfilling, less narcissistic/toxic relationships, whether romantic or friendships etc.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 24/02/2023 23:09

Starseeed · 24/02/2023 22:43

I think we’ll move towards many more self-actualised / individuated people and therefore more fulfilling, less narcissistic/toxic relationships, whether romantic or friendships etc.

Halleluia to that.

Shamsterdam · 24/02/2023 23:16

Maybe more people living with close friends as housemates? I love living just with my kids and don't think I'd ever want to live with a man again, even if I was madly in love! But I'd quite happily live with friends again like I did as a student.

Tigp · 24/02/2023 23:19

To be fair a lot of men probably think the same.

Fairislefandango · 24/02/2023 23:24

I don't think there will be that big a change. Most people will still be in heterosexual couples and have kids, but there will be a bit of an increase in people remaining single and obviously also lots of people in same-sex couples.

Hawkins003 · 24/02/2023 23:24

@JoonT
Group relationships with different members for different aspects

AreWeThereYet69 · 24/02/2023 23:34

@Shamsterdam I feel exactly the same. I'm very happily dating but would HATE to live with a man I was in a relationship again. I know a few other women in their 40s who feel the same!

newwings · 24/02/2023 23:35

It's going to be like the demolition man film. VR relationships.

BoredBetsy · 24/02/2023 23:37

AI will make the perfect match

Hawkins003 · 24/02/2023 23:38

newwings · 24/02/2023 23:35

It's going to be like the demolition man film. VR relationships.

Thats quite true, I already suspect that society will eventually be modelled that way too

JoonT · 24/02/2023 23:42

Pretty soon we will develop drugs to slow ageing (senolytics are already being tested). There will also be medical advances in other areas, helped by stem cells, nanobots, and various other breakthroughs. Healthy lifespans of 120 or 150 will become the norm. Once that happens, it’s hard to see the conventional relationship surviving. Well, let’s say it will become less common - the exception rather than the norm.

I wonder if there will be a new emphasis on friendship? I mean, will people devote the same energy and care to their friendships as they now do to their relationships? Could we see the rise of ‘friendship counsellors’, as we now have marriage guidance counsellors?

I suspect it will be more common for people to commit to relationships yet not live together as well. That happens already, of course, but I’ve a hunch it will become more widespread.

Will multiple partners become more common? I mean, where you seriously commit, but to more than one person? Maybe we’ll form new kinds of marriage in which, say, five people commit, but only three of them are involved sexually.

OP posts:
JoonT · 24/02/2023 23:46

Starseeed · 24/02/2023 22:43

I think we’ll move towards many more self-actualised / individuated people and therefore more fulfilling, less narcissistic/toxic relationships, whether romantic or friendships etc.

Yes, I think you’re right. It is often said that we live in a therapy culture. But why is that a bad thing? We need more, not less therapy!! And we need more emphasis on self-growth and self-awareness. Alain de Botton said that when people date they ought to ask each other “in which ways are you a complete mess?” since we’re all so f-d up.

OP posts:
HarrietSchulenberg · 24/02/2023 23:50

I think there will continue to be a shift away from traditional relationships for another half generation and then it will start to shift back. Each generation seeks to be different to the one before and at some point things will shift back again as a reaction or rebellion against their new normal.

Changemaname1 · 24/02/2023 23:54

Well I did the whole relationship thing have dc who I coparent well with my ex and I enjoy being single both in terms of spending my time with dc which I love and our life’s together without a partner to consider

and when they are with their dad I enjoy being single in a different aspect . Casually dating travelling and doing my own thing

people still keep Insisting “you’ll meet someone “ when I specifically say I’m not bothered . I think they pity me but I truly think I have the best of both worlds

so I think the future could look more like this

Tigp · 25/02/2023 00:08

Imagine living to 150! What a nightmare that would be. Probably have to work until 120!

Allthismidnighttalking · 25/02/2023 00:14

JoonT · 24/02/2023 23:42

Pretty soon we will develop drugs to slow ageing (senolytics are already being tested). There will also be medical advances in other areas, helped by stem cells, nanobots, and various other breakthroughs. Healthy lifespans of 120 or 150 will become the norm. Once that happens, it’s hard to see the conventional relationship surviving. Well, let’s say it will become less common - the exception rather than the norm.

I wonder if there will be a new emphasis on friendship? I mean, will people devote the same energy and care to their friendships as they now do to their relationships? Could we see the rise of ‘friendship counsellors’, as we now have marriage guidance counsellors?

I suspect it will be more common for people to commit to relationships yet not live together as well. That happens already, of course, but I’ve a hunch it will become more widespread.

Will multiple partners become more common? I mean, where you seriously commit, but to more than one person? Maybe we’ll form new kinds of marriage in which, say, five people commit, but only three of them are involved sexually.

Well the poor planet will collapse completely if millions of us start living for that long, god almighty, what a thought

WidthofaLine · 25/02/2023 00:24

Nothing will change, males will still be programmed to look for their best mate and so will females, breakthroughs in technology will not alter that.

Maybe laws my change around mating couples, but no, biology and nature is a powerful thing to ignor, even if our brains develop further, the reproduction system will win.

JustMe2023 · 25/02/2023 00:44

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

LoekMa · 25/02/2023 03:00

Honestly, I suspect or dare I say I hope that with advances in Technology, if less people have to work to actually make a living, the current form of relationships will die out very fast.

Even on MN you keep reading about how soo many women are co habitating with men that treat them like dog poo, disrespect them etc while the women let themselves be drained by energy vampires because they simply can not afford to live alone

If you don't need a man's income to have a good life and you can afford to raise your kids on your own, I think a lot of men will be shockef by how single they will find themselves

Startwithamimosa · 25/02/2023 03:14

I honestly think it's great. When I was growing up you were a loser if you weren't married by 25. 35 you were a write off. I think it would be wonderful to grow up and do whatever you want to. I do think alot of the reasons for being in a relationship and having kids is to not be alone when you are old, given this a genuine human need for most (fear of loneliness), I feel many will continue to be in unfulfilling relationships

Mamaneedsadrink · 25/02/2023 03:17

Where I live if you want to ever own a house, you really need to buy in partnership with someone so sadly I think house prices will hold people back. Equally, I'm sure that's what keeps many in the relationships they're in now

HamBone · 25/02/2023 03:20

The traditional ideas of a “family” are definitely changing and it will be interesting to see what replaces them.

Having one child or being childfree is also popular so once elderly parents have passed away, many adults won’t have biological relatives anymore. I think group or commune-style living might be a good alternative.

TabooOfNoSex · 25/02/2023 05:15

I don’t recognize what you’re talking about at all.
Other than myself, I’ve never met a person who hasn’t / doesn’t currently / looking for relationship, want marriage and have kids.
It’s very narrow, rigid and beige out here.

I know three people in their early 30s who've never bothered at all. When I was a kid (in the 1980s) that would have been considered odd.

Isin’t it good that people have at least little bit of freedom these days?
And I promise you, if you are not desperate for a relationship and oit there fucking at least something, you are still considered pretty weird.
There is still big stigma about being always single / a virgin.

Nothing has really changed much.
People still want to collect their social status symbols and judge thise who don’t.