Is a 60 year old emotionally unavailable man likely to change?

[JCCJ23]

I've been seeing him a few months now, but feel like I'm not a priority to him and that he could take or leave the relationship. We have a laugh together but he freezes up and can't discuss any serious issues or his emotions when I bring things up. Now, this isn't me judging, he admits this himself! I've noticed he can be quite selfish and likes things done a certain way - his way!

I feel like the relationship is superficial and am wondering if it's going to get any better really.

Anyone have any experience of men like this?

Got it👋

You are quite right.

OP, he sounds awful.

A know it all at 60, what will he be like in 10 years...my guess is your skin will be crawling.

@Saffronpotatoes67's post is excellent.

Do not settle for a know it all who wants it all his own way.

15 years is a huge gap.

Do you want to be a nurse with a purse minding a know it all.

Dump him.

Look at your boundaries too because if they were stronger you would be telling him to get lost telling you how to mop.

He makes you feel stupid?

What on earth are you doing with him is the real question?

He's an arse and he won't change.

Thanks all for the helpful comments. To be honest, it's the superior attitude and belittling me at times that bothers me the most recently.

Well here's your answer! He's not going to change. Move on.

No not possible.

I was with someone like this, couldn't tell me he loved me, didn't know how he felt etc., criticism got worse, not better, so my advice is get out now and don't be waiting for things to be different - it won't happen

Hmm, if you'd said he was in his 70s, I would have wondered whether you were dating my Uncle. He admits he's never loved anyone, and is firmly set in his ways. If women don't conform to his way, it is literally the high way.

Hard to say with your man, but I highly doubt he will change now. Maybe if he was utterly enthralled with you, but it doesn't sound like he is.

He also sounds a bit old for you! How long have you been together? Do you have sex? If not, do you really want to be celibate in your 40's??

I have a few friends over 50 and in their 60s who are not married but in relationships. The absolute common thread between them is they like having a woman around to do nice things with but essentially behave as single men in a relationship. One good friend of mine is 65 and has recently started seeing a woman - they have planned lots of holidays together and spend every weekend together. This sounds great until you hear that he has no intention of divorcing (he is separated for 4 years) none of his friends have met or been told about her ; I know because I guessed and he has said he wants his life compartmentalised. My own bf is mid 50s he can't help saying "I" instead of "we" - honestly he says "I am going to Florence next month" when he is talking about both of us going! - my point is that I think as we get older and we are used to navigating life alone,.men can be so emotionally self sufficient that their relationships don't grow because there's no emotional need. I think if there's an age gap that can be harder because trust me dating an older man can be really tough.

Thanks, all. Plenty to think about.