How do you split your bills if one earns much more than other

[Shookethtothecore]

Just that really. How do you split your earnings. So bills and everything and allocate what’s left over. Especially if one of you far out earns the other.
thanks

As long as it's not abusive different things work for everyone.

My partner pays all the house bills same as he did before I lived with him. I pay for the food shopping.

If we get anything done around the house, new carpets decorating etc or holidays I pay for it as he has little disposable income.
I would be happy to split it % wise if he wanted to but he has more money with me buying the shopping and is happy with that.
I earn about double what he does and have property and plenty of savings.

Generally speaking what the man earns is ours and what the woman earns is hers 😂 Men get a lot of satisfaction from providing though so really the women are doing the men a favour...

Yes, we are married. BUT, we each were in a previous long-term relationship that failed and we know that things can and do go wrong. Maybe you could say we are older and wiser...
Also, he has a child and I don't. We each owned our own property coming into the marriage. His credit was bad after his divorce. We are not in the UK so rules on separation are different.
Being "in love" is all very well and good, but we don't live in fairy land. Although he is the love of my life, I would be extremely naive to think that nothing could ever go wrong

We have a Joint account for house bills, food and holidays. I contribute 45% him 55%. He does earn much more in bonuses but we based it on our wage without bonuses. He is good at treating me with his bonus.

we are older and had own houses and savings before we moved in. We have a legal agreement protect our deposits. And split equity of house 50%, even though he puts in more. That’s because I moved further away from work to live with him.

We never argue about money. We just do you paid last time, it’s my time to pay now. Big joint purchases discussed. Unless it’s something we buy with our own money.

basically he spends lots in the pub or on gadgets, which i think us wasted money. . I spend on meals out and clothes, which he doesn’t understand. Own spending money can be ours so no resentment.

both been hurt financially in past, so important to safeguard our finances if worst happens.

We did 50/50 for the household bills but hubby paid for all the food shopping and the internet/TV package. Now we eat the same (we actually keep leap frogging each other) so everything is 50/50 including food etc.

I'm in my 30s and the idea of having a joint account and no individual savings or money seems outdated to me. I just can't imagine doing it. It probably made sense in the 1950s when women tended to be housewives, but most relationships don't last these days, and I think that a degree of financial independence is important.

Fine if the partner who earns more pays a larger proportion of the bills etc, but I would still want separate accounts.

I don't intend to get married for the same reason - I don't want to be financially tied to someone. Having your own money and means of escape is really important I think. DP knows this

DP and I both own our properties too

Wow!
Is that why he's an ex?

@SimplySeb His attitude to money was what killed it. He prioritised spending 2k on a new bike when we desperately needed new double glazing. I never had any money (found out when I left that the bills were nowhere near as high as he had told me and I’d been footing the lion’s share, despite being on a PGCE bursary). The last straw was when my Grandad gave me a cash gift on Christmas Day just months after we had got married, and my ex piped up ‘oh good. I need a new laptop’.

I've hijacked the thread, sorry OP but if this sounds familiar, run. Run now.

Before we moved to a joint account we paid for shared expenses in a way that left us both with about the same disposable income - so kind of proportional.

We put all our money into a joint account that bills and saving come out of. We then have the same amount each a month for spending in a separate account which we use to pay for groceries, transport costs, other things we need each month. This gets topped up if we run out.
I earn 50% more than DP and I do probably spend more than him, but that's because I do more things and meet up with more people, rather than because I earn more per se. He could spend the money if he wanted, he just doesn't have any desire to.

💐Good riddance.

Different to most people here. I out earn DH, always have, sometimes double what he earns. We’re paid into solo accounts and then transfer 50% of the household costs into a joint account and the rest is ours to do as we please.

We mostly save (and I’ve used these savings to pay for cars/holidays/renovations that benefit us all) and I’m currently saving for uni for the kids but I’m buggered if his career choice to earn less means I have to restrict my personal spends. (And it is a choice, he is much cleverer than I am, he just has limited ambition compared to me)

We leave the same amount of money in each of our personal accounts to spend and everything else goes into the joint account for bills.

Bills etc are split 30/70 as my husband earns more

We have a joint account for bills and savings for house maintenance etc

then the rest is our money but we put the same amount into our joint savings account

All house bills come out of my husband's account and I send him a standing order per month for the bills as I get paid into my own account. Whatever is left is my own spending money and I'm happy with what I have left. Yes my husband gets a bit more as he earns more but he also spends more, so that's fine. He's happy with how much I send him, so happy days.

I like having my own account and spending my own money that I've personally worked for. I know it's a mindset thing but it makes my stupidly stressful job a bit more worth it if I'm spending money out of my actual wage, rather than taking it all out of a shared pot.

I don't know, I'm a bit weird like that.

But, from the relationship you get to spend less because you earn less?
Is that becuase you don't put as much effort into the relationship than your partner? Or is it because your partner is a more valuable person to thr realtionship than you?

Just because society values our work roles differnetly, I dont understand why you would choose to repeat that inside your own relationship. If you believe your partner is worth more, works harder and you are not pulling your weight, then I can understand allocating more of the disposable income to them. They deserve it.

But if its an equal patnership and you both bring equal value to your relationship, WTF?

How would you suggest financial set up if I lived with my boyfriend but I have two kids that aren’t his. It’s not fair to expect him to pay their share of bills - so would you just have a ‘house’ account that you each send a different amount to ?

Our earnings are paid in to a joint account and that's 'our' money. We pay the bills from it and allocate ourselves an (equal) amount to spend on what we want each month.

I've been the higher earner and the lower earner in my relationships, and operated this system both times.

we are married, one DC with additional needs. I’m SAHP. All money go into joint account and all spendings then go out of it. We discuss big things and general approach to spendings together. E.g. I wouldn’t consult DH about buying new boots for myself but both of us have figures in mind what we can afford.

We don’t have any formal splitting or spending arrangements. All the bills get paid by somebody.

I earn more.

All one pot, and has been that way regardless of who earns what when. I wouldn't have tolerated anything else given that we're married, neither of us had anything when we met and I've had DC in the plural with the corresponding impact on earnings etc. That said, I'm in charge of the finances anyway because I'm much better at it. But there would be none of this same bedroom, different lifestyle nonsense on my watch. No chance.

Hi @ChristmasJumpers

You asked: "Can I ask, how do you decide how much to put into your savings accounts if all of your money is paid into one joint account and all of your spending is done from that account too?"

To answer: We each save 20% of our monthly salary. My savings go into a saver account that we can access to use for DCs Uni accommodation, home improvements etc. DH's savings go into more structured long-term savings schemes. So, although we do save "separately" we don't view the savings as belonging to one of us alone, which probably sounds the opposite to what I posted!

We've been together since we were at Uni, grown up together really, so we have always shared any money we had and think of it as "our" money. I know that takes a lot of trust.

the situation sounds very unfair as there is a big disparity between your disposable income and his?
your work facilitates his job and earning ability so I’m not surprised you feel unhappy right now.. 300 spending money sounds very low..

What and when was the decision taken for you to not work? What happened financially pre children? Is there a reason you can’t work and earn a good wage?

I’m guessing there is some resentment on his part for being sole earner, it’s a big responsibility but it now it seems unfair to you.

FWIW I’m the female, the bigger earner, I pay 3/4 of costs. We both pay into an account for mortgage, he pays for car, I pay all utilities, groceries and everything else. We have joint accounts and each our own accounts where salary gets paid into.

It's financial abuse, he holds the purse strings and you have to go begging for money if you need it.

Go back to work full time and he will have to help pay for the kids in childcare or divorce him and find someone who sees you as an equal partner