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Relationships

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How do you split your bills if one earns much more than other

131 replies

Shookethtothecore · 23/02/2023 10:14

Just that really. How do you split your earnings. So bills and everything and allocate what’s left over. Especially if one of you far out earns the other.
thanks

OP posts:
Flamingmango · 23/02/2023 11:40

We pay 60% of each of our income into our joint account which covers all household stuff and bills. The remaining money stays in our own account and is for what we want. I think we like it because I would feel guilty as I do a lot of day to day spending (coffees, treats) and my partner doesn't whereas he likes saving up and buying expensive clothes or shoes. We didn't want to feel like we had to ask or feel guilt about doing these things.

Our earning isn't vastly different just now but has varied a little over the years.

Tigertigertigertiger · 23/02/2023 11:41

I pay all the bills as I earn a lot more and own the house

bonzaitree · 23/02/2023 11:47

Surely a huge factor is whether you’re married or not?

if you’re married you both own everything together. That’s what being married means. If you aren’t married you don’t have any right over each others money, and you act accordingly.

Phineyj · 23/02/2023 11:50

We contribute to the bills account proportionally to our (post tax) income.

60:40

TheSingingBean · 23/02/2023 11:53

One joint account for everything.

Fortunately we have similar views on money and spending and we trust one another so it works for us.

My parents had a joint account and everything went into that and then they each had what my dad called 'pocket money' - both had the same amount to spend as they wished. I can see that might work if people want a bit of their own and don't want to be accountable for how they spend it.

boobot1 · 23/02/2023 11:53

OnSilverStars · 23/02/2023 10:26

All our money goes in one account and the bills come out. What's left is for both of us. We don't have separate money

Same

ConfusedNT · 23/02/2023 11:56

We put everything into a joint account and then have the same personal money, savings, private pension amounts out

At one point my DH earned double what I did, I now outearn him so we both have benefited at different times from the arrangement

This has been since marriage and buying a house though. It depends what stage you are in your relationship and what you bring to it. We got married fairly young so neither of use already had property or masses of savings so we came to it very equally.

neighboursmustliveon · 23/02/2023 11:57

OnSilverStars · 23/02/2023 10:26

All our money goes in one account and the bills come out. What's left is for both of us. We don't have separate money

This has been the way we have been irked since the month before we got married.

While our children were young I earned less than my husband (about half his earning). I now out earn him. It has never mattered, our money is all family money. We discuss big purchases and if money is tight but for the most part we are lucky to be able to spend as we want without question.

philautia · 23/02/2023 11:59

My partner is self employed and I am employed. Sometimes he earns 4 x more than me, sometimes I earn more than him. We put an equal amount of money each month into our joint account.

There is no way we could put everything in one pot, as he puts a lot of his money back into his business. I wouldn't be happy paying for him to take clients out for dinner...

We are happy doing it this way, it's more fair and contrary to some posters on here, there is no RIGHT way to do it. As long as no one is being financially abused, that is.

Bobshhh · 23/02/2023 12:01

Have a joint account we put the same amount into for mortgage and bills. So that if we ever split we know we've contributed equally to any equity.

Joint Monzo we pay proportional amounts in to our salaries.

Both keep the rest of our earnings to ourselves. So higher earner has more money to play with.

SoCunningYouCanStickATailOnItAndCallItAFox · 23/02/2023 12:01

We both work hard all day so the score board respective remuneration is not the important factor to us.

All the money from both our efforts goes into the family pot from which we all benefit equally.

Spending decisions are taken jointly.

Outside of work we both pull our weight in the home, again our time is equally valuable.

mondaytosunday · 23/02/2023 12:02

My husband earned 20 times what I did so he paid for everything. He had his ex to support so salary went into his account, he paid out what he had to plus mortgage utilities etc. then he put money into our joint account. He also paid my credit card bill and I was a card holder on his credit card. We discussed any major purchases (like a TV). He never questioned what I spent money on or gave me a limit but I wasn't extravagant- most money went on the kids or food/household things.
When I was working the money went in to my account.

NoSquirrels · 23/02/2023 12:03

Depends? Are you married, do either of you have children (or children together)? etc

YouJustDoYou · 23/02/2023 12:03

When I used to work I paid for my own things (fuel etc), contributed a smaller amount to rent and food. DH paid for larger things and contributed a larger portion to rent and food. He now pays for everything until I will work again, where he will continue to pay for everything and I will use my money to put towards savings, pension, some joint stuff etc.

BoringLittleMe · 23/02/2023 12:07

We have separate accounts and a joint account. Wages come into our separate accounts and we both pay into the joint account so we save the same amount of spending money in our separate accounts (about 30% of his income and 15% of mine). All bills, food, petrol, nights out etc. come out of the joint account. Our separate accounts are to buy our own clothes, gifts for each other and to spend on our own hobbies.

Works for us.

kissthegirlshesnotbehindthedoor · 23/02/2023 12:12

@Shookethtothecore We are each paid into our own accounts. Then put money into the joint account on a sliding scale according to salaries/difference in wage

So if monthly outgoings are £4k then he will put in £3k and I will put in £1k because he earns x amount more than me.

It's almost 60/40 in our house

However all separate savings are considered family savings.

LeatherSkirt82 · 23/02/2023 12:13

I pay mortgage, school fees, life and health insurance and all food/daily costs - he pays for all house-related bills (incl. car, phones and internet). The rest is split between savings and fun-money. No shared account. I earn 2.5x his salary.

hopeishere · 23/02/2023 12:15

We don't have a shared pot (aside from an investment property one) so we sort of work it out between us.

He does rates (council tax) and electric and gas. I do food / kids stuff / pet costs / broadband and unpaid most of the last holiday. He paid for son's ski trip though. No childcare or mortgage. We spilt childcare when we did use it. Over £1200 a month. Such a budget killer!!!

But we earn about the same. He's actually going to retire soon but we will keep on this way.

pixaar3101 · 23/02/2023 12:16

I just don't understand separate money in a marriage. I earn significantly more than my wife (5X). At the end of the month, she transfers her salary into my account. I pay all the bills and any remaining amount goes equally into our ISAs and JISAs. I know why people have separate finances but I will have to have a trust issues with my wife in order to consider that, which means there are bigger problems in my marriage.

RunTowardsTheLight · 23/02/2023 12:18

Just one pot here, ever since we got married. We have our own current accounts and joint savings. Bills are paid by whoever, it doesn't matter as it's from the same pot. We're both naturally careful with money, so we never have the impression that the other person is making poor financial decisions or frittering away our hard earned cash.

Crunchingleaf · 23/02/2023 12:24

Before kids we put in a percentage to joint account based on our salaries. I earn more and have higher earning potential due to qualifications etc. Then we had a child together followed by marriage and now another child (14 month gap). Right now DH is the breadwinner until I go back to work after maternity leave. Once I go back we will either continue what we previously did or put it all together into one pot.
50:50 isn’t a fair split if there is a disparity in the earning between the two.

PandasAreUseless · 23/02/2023 12:32

Im the higher earner in our relationship.
18 years in, we've moved to each keeping what we need for our mobile phone bills and any other personal DDs, new clothes/hobby gear/family gifts etc that are needed that month. Then we dump everything else into a joint account.

ConfusedGin · 23/02/2023 12:33

WorkingFromHomeRocks · 23/02/2023 10:48

50/50. All our money goes into the joint account and the bills come straight out. I find all this % splitting of bills unbelievably weird in relationships. It’s so transactional with someone you supposedly love 🙄 🙄

If there's a difference in your incomes, though surely you're not doing everything 50/50? Otherwise, the lower earner of you will be limiting the other in terms of mortgage, rent, savings, bills, etc?

What I assume you mean, despite the eye rolling about it (which I do agree with to an extent) is that in your relationship you have agreed that 100% of what you each earn is available for costs. When it comes out of the joint account, each person has technically paid a share proportionate to their income, allowing you both to benefit from your shared wealth.

It's just done automatically without the transactional level agreement that the person who earns eg 4 times more pays 80% to the lower earners 20%? And of course, if the balances shift over time and incomes change, there doesn't need to be a new calculation.

I do think that until you reach the point of joint finances in a relationship, proportionate %s does make sense to me, it just takes more set up if you're not all pooled

ConfusedNT · 23/02/2023 12:34

I think how you do it is less important than why you do it

Proportional percentages, shared pot, 50/50 if your salarys are similar are all just variations

What I see on here that can be more of a red flag is:

Person A pays more because they earn more and therefore thinks they are more important in the relationship than Person B and even if they work similar hours expects Person B to have less leisure time because Person A is too important to do household/childcare tasks

Person A earns more but expects Person B to pay 50/50 even on maternity leave and if they go back part time, and expects Person B to do more than 50% of the housework and childcare (why oh why are the 50% bills men never up for 50% housework I wonder)

In both these scenarios and other similar ones it can be really easy if you aren't careful to fall into the trap of thinking someone's value as a person and their amount of leisure time should be based on the amount they earn in a job. Which is likely to impact women with children far more often than anyone else.

Unless someone is lazy or has a terrible work ethic anything other than bills should not be based on salary.

To be fair it can often be that the higher earner works longer hours and therefore to make leisure time equal the lower earner does more household tasks etc

But I also knew someone whose partner insides on 50/50 but wanted a big house and big holidays so she worked hours and hours of overtime to keep up, but then he also expected her to do the vast majority of the housework because she was the lower earner.

so if you are taking about how to deal with money fairly OP make sure you are also talking about how to deal with other things fairly

BridieConvert · 23/02/2023 12:34

Our salaries go into our own accounts, then we pay in x amount to the joint account.
My husband earns 1.5x what I earn to he puts in 1.5x more than me. All household bills/mortgage/shopping comes out of that account and we keep money in our own accounts for phone bills/car insurance/whatever else we want to spend money on etc