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Original poster

My boyfriend slept with his childs mother

97 replies

sillybillyaward · 22/02/2023 15:42

I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months, and I fell for him hard. Things have been really good, he's told me I am the love of his life. We have spoken about us moving in. Basically things have been amazing.

He has a child with another woman, I was a bit iffy about this as I think it can cause drama. And it has. Recently she came to our town to do something as she lives a couple of hours away. He didnt tell me until the evening of that she and the child would be staying at his house to save money. I instantly thought it was dodgy, for not saying until I couldn't say anything as she would be on the streets.

I told him i was unhappy with this, he basically turned it around saying he's not kicking his child out on the streets so I felt bad. I didnt sleep the whole night and after 3 days of him acting so weird. He admitted they slept together that night, they weren't drunk, he doesnt know why it happened. I'm heartbroken, he keeps telling me it means nothing, he doesnt want to be with her. If he wanted to he would. he loves me and wants a future with me. I just dont know what to do. She will always be around and i'm scared this will happen again

OP posts:
Teentaxidriver · 22/02/2023 15:45

Run for the hills. He is a liar and a manipulator. The child will always be in his life and so by association will the mother. THEY clearly have unfinished business. Save yourself further heartbreak.

LividNC · 22/02/2023 15:46

Why does he live two hours from his child in the first place?

LilLilLi · 22/02/2023 15:47

Run.

I mean it, it will hurt but nothing compared to the pain you will feel if you waste years of your time on this man. They have a child and history, they had sex completely sober. No matter what he SAYS, it’s not over.

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/02/2023 15:48

In the first year is when you are crazy in love, mad for each other, full of hormones. If he can't keep his dick away from other women now, he won't ever.

And that line about it meaning nothing, the best response I've ever heard to that is, "when you were doing it, I meant nothing". Because it's true.

Dump his lying, cheating arse.

Original poster
sillybillyaward · 22/02/2023 15:49

When they broke up he could not afford to stay on his own, so he had to move back with family for a while. He does see their child as much as possible. Which then in turn causes more drama because he will spend weekends away near her. I just would never be able to trust him. i cant believe it

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 22/02/2023 15:50

You would have to be an absolute fool to stay with this man. How can you even be considering it?

boomboom109283 · 22/02/2023 15:51

I think you know the best thing to do for your own health is to end it. You will never trust him again and he will always be going away for weekends and you won't know if he has done it again.

bjrce · 22/02/2023 15:52

Honestly, I would end it with him right now.

The very fact that he didn't tell you she was coming to stay with him until the final hour indicated he had plans for the evening. Don't fool yourself that it was a mistake. Why didn't he stay with you - why didn't he ask you to stay over also, Why? Because he wanted her on his own!

I wouldn't even consider continuing the relationship with him. He gaslighted you with his story about putting his child on the street.

He is not to be trusted. You said it yourself - She will always be around. Get yourself a good one - that won't cheat on you.

Dacadactyl · 22/02/2023 15:53

He is ridiculous. You need to get rid of him.

He's got a child living 2 hours away (so I personally wouldn't consider this man relationship material AT ALL).

The one good thing about him is that he has been honest with you. But this will eat you up so just give him his marching orders.

OrlandointheWilderness · 22/02/2023 15:54

Far, far too messy. You'd quite frankly be a fool to stay with him.

bjrce · 22/02/2023 15:55

You state also - his weekends away - staying near them- when he wants to see the child. That's a joke! He's probably staying in her house and sleeping with her. Feeding you a story that he's staying nearby.

This isn't the first time, he's cheated on you! Do yourself a favour!

Gapo · 22/02/2023 15:55

You know what you need to do.

Springintoabetterlife · 22/02/2023 15:55

sillybillyaward · 22/02/2023 15:49

When they broke up he could not afford to stay on his own, so he had to move back with family for a while. He does see their child as much as possible. Which then in turn causes more drama because he will spend weekends away near her. I just would never be able to trust him. i cant believe it

why did him seeing his child cause drama?

Veryniceindeed · 22/02/2023 15:55

What happens the next time she wants to stay? Or he visits his child? Nope you can’t trust him.

Firsttimemum120 · 22/02/2023 15:56

Honestly run, I have a partner who has a child from previous and they are friends they get on she slates him behind his back calls him ugly says she can’t stand him but will put herself around him through choice and she got in the middle of us once. Now I don’t believe they would do anything but I’m constantly insecure about this now and I feel it’ll end our relationship one day.

OneLongSmorgasbord · 22/02/2023 15:57

Leave him.

I doubt whether it's the first time if he goes and visits the ex and child far away either.
You deserve better.
Remember you'll have to deal with his relationship with her until the child is an adult and quite possibly beyond. Every time he goes to visit his child you'll be thinking about it.

Doesn't seem worth it to me.

SpringleDingle · 22/02/2023 15:57

Yuck - this would be a hard pass from me. He can't keep his dick in his pants. You deserve FAR better.

MyOldFriendTime · 22/02/2023 15:58

In the first year is when you are crazy in love, mad for each other, full of hormones. If he can't keep his dick away from other women now, he won't ever.

This ^
Honestly you need to dump his sorry little cheating arse.

raguragu · 22/02/2023 16:00

Leave him now before it gets more
Serious

Ofbollocks · 22/02/2023 16:02

The worrying thing to me is that you have to ask.

Original poster
sillybillyaward · 22/02/2023 16:08

Its not that I have to ask, its that I just feel so sad. I feel blindsided. I had my suspicions before and he has always gone out of his way to make me feel better. This past weekend, he didnt even try to make me feel better or reassure me. He wouldnt stay at mine because she doesnt know we're even together.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 22/02/2023 16:11

Oh OP I think he's still in a relationship with her. He's juggling you both. That's why she doesn't know about you...

YOU are the other woman. Dump him as a cheating cunt.

Original poster
sillybillyaward · 22/02/2023 16:16

I have been sooo stupid and gullible. He told me he couldnt tell her about me because she would stop him from seeing their child. WHY would you sleep with a woman who is capable of doing this

OP posts:
Pardon44 · 22/02/2023 16:18

Don't invest anymore time into this relationship. You are wasting your time and getting more emotionally involved. Your nine months in and he has show he. can't be trusted. The relationship is doomed.

Namechangeisneeded · 22/02/2023 16:20

sillybillyaward · 22/02/2023 16:08

Its not that I have to ask, its that I just feel so sad. I feel blindsided. I had my suspicions before and he has always gone out of his way to make me feel better. This past weekend, he didnt even try to make me feel better or reassure me. He wouldnt stay at mine because she doesnt know we're even together.

ahhh your the love of his life but he still shags his ex when they are together (and this will NOT be the first time)

He’s been lovebombing you and then this weekend when his ex was in town he gaslit you as he had a new plaything for the night

He has narcissistic traits hanging from alllllll his red flag poles

dump dump dump