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Original poster

My partner doesn't ever want to marry me

98 replies

MillyDo · 14/02/2023 18:33

Hi,
We've been together for years- I don't want to out myself but basically he knows how much I want to get married and completely refuses . I haven't proposed or anything but hinted I guess. He says I'm an amazing woman but won't marry me. Why? Is this normal?
I know marriage isn't for everyone but we've been together a long time.
He moved into my home years ago. He's really generous and has practically brought my kids up. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
He definitely has his faults with other things, sorry TMI but basically he doesn't like me farting around him as it puts him off. Things like that. Not sure what to do moving forward. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
NCMum79 · 14/02/2023 18:38

Loads of people aren't bothered about marriage. I have pals who've been together for 20+ years. Never married. All as happy as if they were. But that's their choice. What matters really is whether....it's a deal breaker - for you?

Oakbeam · 14/02/2023 18:40

he doesn't like me farting around him as it puts him off

Off what? His dinner?

workiskillingme · 14/02/2023 18:40

Hang on- he's moved into your home. If you get married won't he be entitled to half?

Valhalla17 · 14/02/2023 18:41

You need to ask him why he won't marry you and then decide if it's a deal breaker for you...

Original poster
MillyDo · 14/02/2023 18:41

@Oakbeam No puts him off me

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 14/02/2023 18:42

"He moved into my home years ago."
Didn't he just. Sad

Zanatdy · 14/02/2023 18:48

I was with someone who didn’t want to get married for years before we split. My current boyfriend would definitely get married in the future and is divorced. He see’s a long term relationship as committed and married. Whether that’s us one day I don’t know but he’s not afraid to show his commitment and I like that about him

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 14/02/2023 18:49

What did he say when you asked, “why won’t you marry me? What is the reason?”

Abc12389 · 14/02/2023 18:49

If you own a house why would you put that at risk by marrying him?

aSofaNearYou · 14/02/2023 18:52

Agree you need to ask his reason, the answer could make a big difference.

And does he fart around you, out of interest?

FinallyHere · 14/02/2023 18:53

If he really did move into your house, wholly owned by you, then he sounds like the financially weaker party. In which case, I salute him for not wanting to become your spouse and be entitled to 50% of your assets in the case of divorce after a reasonably long time of marriage.

Why do you want to put your children's inheritance at risk by marrying him?

Bananalanacake · 14/02/2023 18:53

Keep your property to yourself, why share it with him if you marry

maranella · 14/02/2023 18:53

Who on Earth LIKES their DP farting around them? I don't and I'm married to mine. It's disgusting.

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 14/02/2023 18:56

maranella · 14/02/2023 18:53

Who on Earth LIKES their DP farting around them? I don't and I'm married to mine. It's disgusting.

I love breathing in my partner’s earthy ones.

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 14/02/2023 18:56

Don't marry the fucking fartphobe, keep your house for yourself and your kids.

maranella · 14/02/2023 18:58

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 14/02/2023 18:56

I love breathing in my partner’s earthy ones.

Show quote history

Why is there no vomit emoji?

Bellalalala · 14/02/2023 18:59

Why have you added the big about farting? It’s completely random.

Anyway, I don’t want to get married either. Don’t know why people find it so weird.

If dp wanted to get married and was annoyed I didn’t I would be asking why he was with me if it was so important to him.

Seems really odd to claim marriage is really important but then be with someone who feels the opposite

23mum · 14/02/2023 18:59

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 14/02/2023 18:56

Don't marry the fucking fartphobe, keep your house for yourself and your kids.

Fartphobe 😂😂😂

winningeasy · 14/02/2023 19:01

Don't marry someone who expects you to hold your farts in for the rest of your life.

Deal breaker

maranella · 14/02/2023 19:03

winningeasy · 14/02/2023 19:01

Don't marry someone who expects you to hold your farts in for the rest of your life.

Deal breaker

FGS you don't have to hold in your farts - you just have to not stink up the room when other people are in it. Isn't that just good manners?

Zezet · 14/02/2023 19:05

Sure it's normal/common. It's also normal/common to not accept a relationship under those conditions. It's not really about right or wrong either, is it.

But why did you let him move in if you weren't going to be happy with the result? And why would you expect him to change his mind now?

Slouch · 14/02/2023 19:09

Would he get a civil partnership instead? Is it the fuss of a wedding he doesn't want or the legal rights?

The fart thing is very random.

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/02/2023 19:10

If it was that important to you it wouldn’t have been years till it became an issue. You’ve let him move in and put up with living together unmarried all this time so he probably doesn’t think it’s that much of a big deal to you.

If it is and he’s sure it’s not happening what will you do? It sounds like he’s been clear from the start he wasn’t the marrying kind and you’ve been hoping he’d change his mind. That rarely happens.

Are you prepared to never get married?

ConkerBonkers · 14/02/2023 19:13

Oh dear op..one more vote for don't marry him, keep your house for you and the kids, if you marry him and die then he could marry again and the new wife gets the house, and your kids would be really disappointed, potentially hurt, and grieving, rather than just grieving

If he thinks you're not good enough he should just fuck off. When you mention farting it sounds like you are saying that he thinks you are not good enough to marry. It's terrible that he makes you think that's a possibility. He's not really the one for you op..

Eyerollcentral · 14/02/2023 19:13

Because he thinks you are good enough to live with OP bit for whatever reason not good enough to marry. Sorry to be so blunt but that’s the long and short of it. He has had his cake and eaten it moving in to your home and given you no security as a return. If he really loved you of course he would marry you.

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