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Original poster

My partner doesn't ever want to marry me

98 replies

MillyDo · 14/02/2023 18:33

Hi,
We've been together for years- I don't want to out myself but basically he knows how much I want to get married and completely refuses . I haven't proposed or anything but hinted I guess. He says I'm an amazing woman but won't marry me. Why? Is this normal?
I know marriage isn't for everyone but we've been together a long time.
He moved into my home years ago. He's really generous and has practically brought my kids up. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
He definitely has his faults with other things, sorry TMI but basically he doesn't like me farting around him as it puts him off. Things like that. Not sure what to do moving forward. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
HandyLady · 14/02/2023 21:34

BlluePeril · 14/02/2023 21:25

It really isn’t, unless you’re withholding sex to get Sid the Sexist to put a ring on your finger.

Show quote history

It is true. If you let a man live in your house, you feed him, wash his clothes, iron his shirts and give him all the sex he wants, he's going to be quite content and in no hurry to get married. Also, you may well find you've entertained a man who would never in a million years marry you no matter what, but was quite keen to enjoy the hospitality for as long as you offered it or until the right woman came along. It's not rocked science. Time is precious for women so don't blow it on the wrong man. The right man will respect your boundaries but will, admittedly, take longer to find.

Sweet89 · 14/02/2023 21:36

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 14/02/2023 18:56

I love breathing in my partner’s earthy ones.

Show quote history

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love the smell of my farts

SO224350 · 14/02/2023 21:36

@maranella found it for you! 🤮

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 14/02/2023 21:38

HandyLady · 14/02/2023 21:34

It is true. If you let a man live in your house, you feed him, wash his clothes, iron his shirts and give him all the sex he wants, he's going to be quite content and in no hurry to get married. Also, you may well find you've entertained a man who would never in a million years marry you no matter what, but was quite keen to enjoy the hospitality for as long as you offered it or until the right woman came along. It's not rocked science. Time is precious for women so don't blow it on the wrong man. The right man will respect your boundaries but will, admittedly, take longer to find.

Show quote history

It's not rocked science

Rocket.

Thanks for earnestly explaining all that to us, none of us had any idea.

HandyLady · 14/02/2023 21:39

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 14/02/2023 21:38

It's not rocked science

Rocket.

Thanks for earnestly explaining all that to us, none of us had any idea.

Show quote history

Is that your best trolling?

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 14/02/2023 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BCBird · 14/02/2023 21:41

Were you aware of his thoughts about marriage and he.your's?

HandyLady · 14/02/2023 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

So you admit you're just trolling me because I said something you don't agree with or didn't know about....on another thread! A bit rude and aggressive isn't it?

barmycatmum · 14/02/2023 21:46

I dunno about the fart thing. Is he one of those guys who expects you to be a perfect Disney Princess with no needs or bodily functions?

im not making it up, I’ve met people like this - God forbid a woman should have an “off” day, not be feeling well, not smell like roses or sweet baked goods at all times ..

if he is one of those, KICK HIS ARSE OUT of your home. Please.

Sunriseinwonderland · 14/02/2023 21:47

Why on earth do you want to marry him and risk losing your children's inheritance?
When will women realise that marriage is and always has been a legal contract to secure finances NOT a Cinderella fairy tale.
I have my own house, pension and considerable savings and I wouldn't marry anyone even if they were the love of my life or a God.
I'd never risk my son's inheritance like that.

Dotcheck · 14/02/2023 21:50

Have you talked to him?

MrsMikeDrop · 14/02/2023 21:51

maranella · 14/02/2023 18:53

Who on Earth LIKES their DP farting around them? I don't and I'm married to mine. It's disgusting.

Totally agree, we manage to not fart around each other 🤢

FlowerArranger · 14/02/2023 21:51

It boils down to marriage being a financial contract. Share assets...... that will be s0lit (roughly) 50:50 on divorce.

Marriage makes sense when a couple do not have children and/or own roughly equal assets. I'd go as far as to say that any woman who is a much lower earner and/or is planning to be a SAHM or otherwise compromise her career due to having children would be well advised to insist on marriage.

It gets more complicated if existing children and assets/property are involved. It may be advisable NOT to get married, in order to ensure that assets are inherited by the children rather than a new spouse. There are too many stories where someone marries again without making an airtight will, then dies and new spouse inherits everything - and the dead person's children have no legal recourse.

Summary: Women must think with their brains rather than their hearts when considering wedlock.

ItchyBillco · 14/02/2023 22:02

You have more to lose if you get married. Leave your house for your children, not that goon.

Slouch · 14/02/2023 22:07

FawnFrenchieMum · 14/02/2023 21:26

I’ve never really understood why people who live together for ‘years’ suddenly want to get married. I just think if it’s something that’s important you, you do it early on if not then fine.
I suppose the financial security is one reason, but again, surely you do it before finances truly become intertwined.

We did it because it was easier and cheaper* than making a will and next of kin documents (I know we should still make wills but in the meantime things are a bit more straightforward). We had everything else in joint names but as time went by we wanted a bit more legal protection.

  • had the cheapest possible registry office "wedding"
grumpycow1 · 14/02/2023 22:16

Don’t marry this man! If you break up he will be entitled to half your house…. Keep it for your kids instead. Also if he say something ‘puts him off’ you then he doesn’t sound a keeper anyway, sorry.

EyesOnThePies · 14/02/2023 22:20

Is he worried that you would jet propel yourself down the aisle fuelled by farts?

Dymaxion · 14/02/2023 22:26

DH is like the Brighouse and Rastrick brass brand trump wise when he gets up in a morning, being a certain age with a flappy sphincter and a love of a good curry, aids this melodic cacophony. Does your partner never trump out loud so to speak @MillyDo ?
Wasn't there a woman who was making a fortune trumping on Onlyfans ? You might be able to retire early if you get your game on ?

Pearfacebananapoop · 14/02/2023 22:27

Fart away in your own house... what exactly is he contributing to this arrangement?

Azerothi · 14/02/2023 22:27

Is there some reason that your boyfriend doesn't want to marry you? Or has he always not wanted to? If so why did you carry on with this boyfriend?

You might be better off financially as his girlfriend but for some people (me included) marriage was very important.

scaredoff · 14/02/2023 22:31

I have pals who've been together for 20+ years. Never married. All as happy as if they were.

So not very happy then . . . ?

Summerfun54321 · 14/02/2023 22:34

"Couples who fart together, stay together" I thought this was a well known phrase.

Summerfun54321 · 14/02/2023 22:35

Is he married to someone else already? Throwing in a wild card there.

StarDolphins · 14/02/2023 22:41

He soumds like a great guy (minus the strange farting bit) that could marry you & take half your house but isn’t.

I don’t want marriage either for various reasons but doesn’t mean I lack love & commitment.

Noonesperfect · 14/02/2023 22:41

Summerfun54321 · 14/02/2023 22:34

"Couples who fart together, stay together" I thought this was a well known phrase.

🤣🤣🤣 Love this .

Love me love my farts 😂