Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He won't tell me her name

88 replies

Avatarstoo · 13/02/2023 09:58

I asked my boyfriend where his Tourmaline healing necklace was as I had not seen it since the first few weeks we had been official. He said he got rid of it to a friend who needed it more and we looked at each other for a bit and he wouldn't elaborate.

I have since asked him multiple times who did he give this necklace to. He refuses to disclose the woman's name. Now I know 100% that he has met this woman since we were official to give her this necklace and the scary thing is I did not know this meeting took place. He now claims someone came with him to meet her. He claims it was before we were official though I do remember seeing the necklace at his house after we were official.

He says this person was destructive and was going into rehab but he needed their friendship out his life so he met them and gave them the necklace as he no longer needed it so they could heal and move on from the friendship. He claims he has been 100% faithful since we have been together and says he would never lie.

I told him last night that he is single now as he does not have the decency to tell me this person's name and be honest.

He is going to video call me later. Now it is clearly an ex lover. I just don't get why he is so cagey and I have said this to him. Why could he have just not been honest and told me at the time or now? What questions should I ask him later?

I would be upset to part ways but need a man who is going to be honest with me.

OP posts:
Appleholic · 13/02/2023 10:03

Don't sweat it, this guy's a head screw. Block and move on, I wouldn't bother with the video call. If he's that bothered about you he would have given a straight answer.

Dery · 13/02/2023 10:03

I’m confused as to why this matters so much. Was the necklace a present from you to him? And is he not allowed to meet women without a chaperone? It was early on in your relationship. Perhaps there’s a massive back story, as otherwise it’s not obvious to me what he’s done wrong and you’re coming across as a bit controlling.

Jaxinthebox · 13/02/2023 10:04

over a necklace? Seems a bit intense this relationship. All a bit cloak and dagger and 'she needed the necklace'.

I think you might need to just do you for a while. Your gut it trying to tell you something, so do listen.

longwayoff · 13/02/2023 10:04

He's a liar and deceiver. Bin him now.

WetBandits · 13/02/2023 10:07

To be honest, I don’t think I’d tell you her name either as it doesn’t sound like you have any good intentions towards her and it sounds like she’s going through a rough enough time already without you potentially contacting her to grill her. I think he’s dodged a bullet with you dumping him tbh, you sound a bit overbearing.

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 13/02/2023 10:07

Wtf, are you 12 🤔

Original poster
Avatarstoo · 13/02/2023 10:08

@WetBanditsWhy is he meeting women behind my back and not telling me? I would not contact her.

OP posts:
JorisBonson · 13/02/2023 10:14

Is there nothing else for you to do during half term?

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 13/02/2023 10:15

I bet OP has eaten all the biscuits

rubberduckiee · 13/02/2023 10:17

Get another healing necklace to heal your relationship?

Endofdaysarehere · 13/02/2023 10:20

I hate half term

TheDogthatDug · 13/02/2023 10:21

Healing necklace? 🙄

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 13/02/2023 10:23

hahahaha since we were official. Bloody hell. The schools need to go back already.

Cocobutt · 13/02/2023 10:31

Why do you need to know her name?
How will that help you?

Just know that he has feelings for someone else and it doesn’t really matter whether he’s physically cheated or not, as he’s bound to one day soon and he’s never going to be honest about it.

Trez1510 · 13/02/2023 10:35

How long have you been 'official'?

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 13/02/2023 10:38

What is meant by 'official'? (Were you married?)

How much did the necklace belong to him? (Was he free to do as he wished with it or is it still really your property?)

Is your relationship so exclusive that neither of you is allowed to have friends? (Do you both agree on this level?)

SoupDragon · 13/02/2023 10:43

If a woman was here complaining that her male partner was demanding to know who she had been to see he would be labelled controlling.

WeWereInParis · 13/02/2023 10:47

Now I know 100% that he has met this woman since we were official to give her this necklace and the scary thing is I did not know this meeting took place.

Why is this scary? Do you need to nnow every person he meets now you're "official"? This is very dramatic.

And wtf is a healing necklace.

MichaelFabricantWig · 13/02/2023 10:48

wtf is a tourmaline healing necklace?

WetBandits · 13/02/2023 10:51

Avatarstoo · 13/02/2023 10:08

@WetBanditsWhy is he meeting women behind my back and not telling me? I would not contact her.

So he isn’t allowed to meet friends without your say-so and you’ve been together five minutes? And if you didn’t want to contact her, why do you need to know her name?

I hope he stays away, you’ve got more red flags than a Communist parade.

Findyourneutralspace · 13/02/2023 10:51

What difference would knowing her name make? Sounds like he gave her a parting gift to put that relationship in the past.

Emmamoo89 · 13/02/2023 10:53

You sound batshit

Original poster
Avatarstoo · 13/02/2023 11:06

Is it usual for people to meet their friends and not mention it causally to their partner?

OP posts:
RiktheButler · 13/02/2023 11:08

Avatarstoo · 13/02/2023 11:06

Is it usual for people to meet their friends and not mention it causally to their partner?

Is it usual to give your partner the third degree about who he has dared to meet without your express permission?

Bloke has dodged a bucket there

DestinysGrandchild · 13/02/2023 11:10

Avatarstoo · 13/02/2023 11:06

Is it usual for people to meet their friends and not mention it causally to their partner?

Is it usual to break up over a healing necklace? Wtf.

Swipe left for the next trending thread