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Original poster

He won't tell me her name

88 replies

Avatarstoo · 13/02/2023 09:58

I asked my boyfriend where his Tourmaline healing necklace was as I had not seen it since the first few weeks we had been official. He said he got rid of it to a friend who needed it more and we looked at each other for a bit and he wouldn't elaborate.

I have since asked him multiple times who did he give this necklace to. He refuses to disclose the woman's name. Now I know 100% that he has met this woman since we were official to give her this necklace and the scary thing is I did not know this meeting took place. He now claims someone came with him to meet her. He claims it was before we were official though I do remember seeing the necklace at his house after we were official.

He says this person was destructive and was going into rehab but he needed their friendship out his life so he met them and gave them the necklace as he no longer needed it so they could heal and move on from the friendship. He claims he has been 100% faithful since we have been together and says he would never lie.

I told him last night that he is single now as he does not have the decency to tell me this person's name and be honest.

He is going to video call me later. Now it is clearly an ex lover. I just don't get why he is so cagey and I have said this to him. Why could he have just not been honest and told me at the time or now? What questions should I ask him later?

I would be upset to part ways but need a man who is going to be honest with me.

OP posts:
JorisBonson · 13/02/2023 12:04

JizzlordTheCat · 13/02/2023 12:00

I fully believe in the power of tourmaline.

In my case, when worn by a man as a necklace, it makes my vagina clamp entirely shut.

Move on, OP. You don’t trust him.

Yep. Like a bear trap.

WhatTrophy · 13/02/2023 12:04

It sounds like neither of you will do the other any good and you're both well off out of it to me.

Gazelda · 13/02/2023 12:05

You don't trust him. That's the nub of the story.

I don't see any value in having the video call.

TheShellBeach · 13/02/2023 12:06

Avatarstoo · 13/02/2023 11:50

I just feel upset he has met a love interest alone. I think I need to move on from this man.

Show quote history

How do you know it was a love interest?
After all, you were official.

Kerfuffler · 13/02/2023 12:07

He would be angry if I met a man alone and not said anything

wow he sounds great * *

buttercupboots · 13/02/2023 12:09

You two don't seem compatible, your expectations and boundaries don't align, best to move on. For what it's worth, it wouldn't be normal in my relationship for either of us to meet up with an ex without letting the other know. Each to their own though!

CallieQ · 13/02/2023 12:13

LTB

Johnisafckface · 13/02/2023 12:18

WetBandits · 13/02/2023 10:07

To be honest, I don’t think I’d tell you her name either as it doesn’t sound like you have any good intentions towards her and it sounds like she’s going through a rough enough time already without you potentially contacting her to grill her. I think he’s dodged a bullet with you dumping him tbh, you sound a bit overbearing.

This.

mightymam · 13/02/2023 12:34

Endofdaysarehere · 13/02/2023 10:20

I hate half term

GrinGrin

SoupDragon · 13/02/2023 12:41

Kerfuffler · 13/02/2023 12:07

He would be angry if I met a man alone and not said anything

wow he sounds great * *

whereas the OP is perfectly OK with him meeting up with a female friend... oh, wait...

drpet49 · 13/02/2023 12:43

WetBandits · 13/02/2023 10:51

So he isn’t allowed to meet friends without your say-so and you’ve been together five minutes? And if you didn’t want to contact her, why do you need to know her name?

I hope he stays away, you’ve got more red flags than a Communist parade.

Show quote history

Haha this.

Mirabai · 13/02/2023 12:59

rubberduckiee · 13/02/2023 10:17

Get another healing necklace to heal your relationship?

Yes or use the healing necklace to divine the woman’s name.

Cocobutt · 13/02/2023 14:11

Is it usual for people to meet their friends and not mention it causally to their partner?

How old are you both and do you live together?

I think it’s fine to meet friends and not mention it to your partner, especially if you don’t live together or have a good social life, as it could have just slipped your mind.

But it’s not ok to be cagey about it and give random women necklaces which are your girlfriends.

RiktheButler · 13/02/2023 14:14

Cocobutt · 13/02/2023 14:11

Is it usual for people to meet their friends and not mention it causally to their partner?

How old are you both and do you live together?

I think it’s fine to meet friends and not mention it to your partner, especially if you don’t live together or have a good social life, as it could have just slipped your mind.

But it’s not ok to be cagey about it and give random women necklaces which are your girlfriends.

HIS tourmaline whateverthefeck necklace

Luckingfovely · 13/02/2023 14:14

You could get him another one for his 16th birthday this summer?

Cocobutt · 13/02/2023 14:14

I’m quite surprised at some of these replies.

A man is usually in the wrong on MN regardless of what he’s done and there are many unnecessary replies on here.

If you think the thread is fake then report or don’t post, as if it is real then this is someone’s life and being bitchy isn’t helpful to anyone.

Cocobutt · 13/02/2023 14:16

HIS tourmaline whateverthefeck necklace

Thanks I missed that it was his necklace.

I would feel a bit put out if my partner gave a woman something of his but if they’re friends then it’s up to him what he gives away.

Sucessinthenewyear · 13/02/2023 14:18

You’ve ended the relationship so why are you going to call him tonight? He is now an ex.

ItsTrueLou · 13/02/2023 14:19

Ok ladies own up. Who has been given a Tourmaline healing necklace recently? It is clearly 'hot goods' and needs returning to the OP

RiktheButler · 13/02/2023 14:20

ItsTrueLou · 13/02/2023 14:19

Ok ladies own up. Who has been given a Tourmaline healing necklace recently? It is clearly 'hot goods' and needs returning to the OP

Perhaps it is the "hot goods" which need healing...

Does Tourmaline work on a rash? Asking for a friend.....

Original poster
Avatarstoo · 13/02/2023 14:35

Cocobutt · 13/02/2023 14:14

I’m quite surprised at some of these replies.

A man is usually in the wrong on MN regardless of what he’s done and there are many unnecessary replies on here.

If you think the thread is fake then report or don’t post, as if it is real then this is someone’s life and being bitchy isn’t helpful to anyone.

The worst thing about all of this is he refuses to say who it is. He said he had to meet up with her for closure while we were in a relationship. Why would someone need closure if they had moved on?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 13/02/2023 14:41

These necklaces are like a couple of quid. They're not mega expensive precious stones. How would you even notice something like that wasn't around?

If this is for real, I think there is probably a mega back story of behaviours from you and why he's took the quiet life by not telling you.

Just move on with your life.

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 13/02/2023 14:46

Christ on a bike, what the hell does "officially together" mean to the OP? Leg shackled? Under 24h surveillance?

He gave a necklace to an ex. His necklace. You're going all Columbo over it. The way you're reactiung, I'm not surprised he won't tell you her name. What would you do with that information, stalk her on social media?

It sounds like a 6th form spat. Grow up and move on.

larchforest · 13/02/2023 14:49

Why would someone need closure if they had moved on?

You've got that the wrong way round. You can only properly move on after closure, not before.

GoodChat · 13/02/2023 14:54

If I noticed my DP was no longer wearing a necklace and I said "oh where's your necklace?" And he said "ah I gave it to a friend who's going through a rough time" I wouldn't give it any further thought.

However, he was still in contact with her after you became official, whoever she is, and is refusing to tell you about her.

Don't accept his video call. Just block him and move on with your life.

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