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Original poster

He won't tell me her name

88 replies

Avatarstoo · 13/02/2023 09:58

I asked my boyfriend where his Tourmaline healing necklace was as I had not seen it since the first few weeks we had been official. He said he got rid of it to a friend who needed it more and we looked at each other for a bit and he wouldn't elaborate.

I have since asked him multiple times who did he give this necklace to. He refuses to disclose the woman's name. Now I know 100% that he has met this woman since we were official to give her this necklace and the scary thing is I did not know this meeting took place. He now claims someone came with him to meet her. He claims it was before we were official though I do remember seeing the necklace at his house after we were official.

He says this person was destructive and was going into rehab but he needed their friendship out his life so he met them and gave them the necklace as he no longer needed it so they could heal and move on from the friendship. He claims he has been 100% faithful since we have been together and says he would never lie.

I told him last night that he is single now as he does not have the decency to tell me this person's name and be honest.

He is going to video call me later. Now it is clearly an ex lover. I just don't get why he is so cagey and I have said this to him. Why could he have just not been honest and told me at the time or now? What questions should I ask him later?

I would be upset to part ways but need a man who is going to be honest with me.

OP posts:
Choconut · 13/02/2023 11:15

It just sounds hard work OP, call it a day and move on.

WeAreTheHeroes · 13/02/2023 11:16

A bucket?!

Honestly the OP reads like something a teenager would post. There are clearly some trust and control issues in the relationship. If you can't be open and honest with each other early on then there's no hope. Move on.

WeAreTheHeroes · 13/02/2023 11:17

Oh and he won't tell you her name because she's either an ex/a lover/one of your friends or he's just worried you're going to contact her.

TheShellBeach · 13/02/2023 11:17

Avatarstoo · 13/02/2023 11:06

Is it usual for people to meet their friends and not mention it causally to their partner?

Aye, hen. It is.

RiktheButler · 13/02/2023 11:19

WeAreTheHeroes · 13/02/2023 11:16

A bucket?!

Honestly the OP reads like something a teenager would post. There are clearly some trust and control issues in the relationship. If you can't be open and honest with each other early on then there's no hope. Move on.

Bullet. Ducking autocorrect

Fairislefandango · 13/02/2023 11:20

Maybe it's just me, but if I found out my boyfriend had a 'tourmaline healing necklace' I'd be delighted if a female 'friend' would take both it and him off my hands...

Twillow · 13/02/2023 11:20

You sound very suspicious. What does the actual name matter? Will the name stop you being suspicious?

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 13/02/2023 11:21

Lol healing necklace.

Yes it's normal for peoples partners to meet up with friends & not mention it! You should be happy his friend has taken it off his hands really, he probably didn't even like it.

Original poster
Avatarstoo · 13/02/2023 11:23

Twillow · 13/02/2023 11:20

You sound very suspicious. What does the actual name matter? Will the name stop you being suspicious?

I just can't understand why he never mentioned he met up with a friend. What else he is up to. It is a kind thing to do and give someone soemthing ti help them. He knows I have always been a trusting and understanding person but things like this are causing me anxiety. He would be angry if I met a man alone and not said anything. I don't know if there was a goodbye kiss as closure.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 13/02/2023 11:23

Is it usual for people to meet their friends and not mention it causally to their partner?

Yes. It is usual for your partner to demand to know who you are with at all times?

No.

What the heck is a 'healing necklace' anyway?

DarkShade · 13/02/2023 11:23

I'm sorry, you broke up with him because he gave a necklace of his to a friend? Am I reading this right? I think that's pretty insane to be honest. But also it's weird he didn't tell you who when asked. I think you are probably better off apart.

SunshineAndFizz · 13/02/2023 11:24

Mate. He wears a tourmaline healing necklace. Move on.

Leirvassbu · 13/02/2023 11:25

Why are you so obsessed with this tourmaline healing necklace??
Did you give it to him? Or was it his before you were "official"?

Such a drama. I just find it odd that you even noticed it was missing and then gave him the third degree about it.
And yes boyfriends/girlfriends do meet other friends without having to tell the other person about it.

You obviously don't trust him so don't video call him today, just let it go and then do some serious work on yourself because the way you are going on is not healthy for any relationship-

DestinysGrandchild · 13/02/2023 11:26

@Avatarstoo a good bye kiss for closure??
So he met someone. Gave away a necklace. And now that means he's goodbye kissing people.

Just because he met a woman, it doesn't mean he shoved his dick in her. Jesus Christ.

wheelywheelynice · 13/02/2023 11:30

Tourmaline healing necklace? What a load of old guff, stones and crystals don't have any magical, healing powers.

LoekMa · 13/02/2023 11:30

Avatarstoo · 13/02/2023 10:08

@WetBanditsWhy is he meeting women behind my back and not telling me? I would not contact her.

Ok miss parole officer. He isn't your prisoner. Wind your neck back in

stripedsox · 13/02/2023 11:30

It's obvious that you are upset and some pp are piling on but it doesn't sound like this relationship was going anywhere tbh. You broke up with him now it's time to move on. Forget him, necklaces and Ms ? None of it matters.

MichelleScarn · 13/02/2023 11:32

Had to Google, I absolutely remember these from school trips! Am sure I got a a purple one from the gift shop at Our Dynamic Earth!

He won't tell me her name
3kidswouldfinishanyoneoff · 13/02/2023 11:38

So many mean replies, unnecessary.

Hope you're ok op.

AnneShirley18 · 13/02/2023 11:44

Fairislefandango · 13/02/2023 11:20

Maybe it's just me, but if I found out my boyfriend had a 'tourmaline healing necklace' I'd be delighted if a female 'friend' would take both it and him off my hands...

My thoughts exactly! 🤣

TheShellBeach · 13/02/2023 11:46

Well I've learned something new.
I now know what a tourmaline healing necklace is.
Not that it matters.
OP why are you giving your almost ex bloke such ahard time?
He's probably annoyed with you because you're giving him the third degree over meeting a pal. A meeting he considered insignificant. And now you're questioning him, endlessly.
Poor sod.

Pardon44 · 13/02/2023 11:47

He gave HIS necklace to His friend. Its really not your business.

I've been with my husband 13 years and he certainly doesn't run everything by me. I trust him and he trusts me. I don't need a commentary on his life.

You don't trust your BF. It's better to move on.

Original poster
Avatarstoo · 13/02/2023 11:50

3kidswouldfinishanyoneoff · 13/02/2023 11:38

So many mean replies, unnecessary.

Hope you're ok op.

I just feel upset he has met a love interest alone. I think I need to move on from this man.

OP posts:
Rogue1001MNer · 13/02/2023 11:54

SunshineAndFizz · 13/02/2023 11:24

Mate. He wears a tourmaline healing necklace. Move on.

Love this ❤

JizzlordTheCat · 13/02/2023 12:00

I fully believe in the power of tourmaline.

In my case, when worn by a man as a necklace, it makes my vagina clamp entirely shut.

Move on, OP. You don’t trust him.