Good for you.
Reframing it as, by you asserting yourself firmly to your husband, you are doing your best for your family and giving it its best chance.
Many is the woman that divorces selfish men like yours.
It happens all the time.
They often write that they look back and bitterly regret not asserting themselves much earlier when children arrived.
Because they didn't, and their selfish husbands weren't firmly told to shape up or ship out, they fell out of love, grew to loathe them, lost all respect for them, and then got their ducks in a row and divorced them.
I can see that in your future if you don't put your mental health first.
No one is looking after you.
He certainly isn't.
All he does is pile pressure on you.
The fact you have carried him through a breakdown and he still is so selfish is very poor.
I strongly recommend you seek counselling on your own, for support and to deal with your excessive people pleasing.
Your baby needs a mum who values herself and minds herself.
Who knows that her well-being and general health is vitally important.
Living with a man who is so selfish gets old very quickly when you have children.
You may have been prepared to put him first before your baby, but now your baby comes first and when you see him continuing to be so selfish, you will find yourself detaching and rethinking how you feel.
This is how divorce happens every day.
Women simply deciding that actually there is less stress without the selfish manchild living with him.
I realise I am harsh, but the best chance your marriage has is to continue to lay out your expectations clearly to him and to tell him that if he doesn't step up it is likely you will do it alone.
Doing it alone would be easier if it means his PITA mother isn't in your life.
I'm so glad you have a sister and family, reach out and accept their support.
You deserve a good life with a supportive husband that has your back, anything else isn't worth your time.
Make sure your contraception is bullet proof until you see him step up.
You need to spell out your expectations of him now that you are returning to work.
Protect that job of yours.
In the event that he is a disappointment going forward, you will need that job.
Mind your money and make sure he pays his way.
Every woman needs a "other options" account should things not work out.
You are a great woman, value yourself.