Money Vanishing

[EllieBear20]

Hey everyone, feel like I need an outside perspective on this matter.

So my partner and I was in a good place. Then I notice an envelope of money has gone missing. There were thousands inside as it was my savings towards a future big purchase.

I have never blamed anyone in this apart from myself (thinking I have misplaced it but have now looked everywhere). So although I haven't accused my partner or anyone else of that matter, he is of course defending himself and now understandably there is a wedge between us. He says it's not like we can ignore it and go back to normal.

Now I feel I have the mystery of the money and a possible relationship breakdown.

What does this sound like to you? What can you do in this situation?

Tia x

How thick an envelope?

In a book?

Between books?

In a pile of papers?

So you've lost one envelope with thousands in but still have others with thousands in?

I can think of several reasons it is not in a bank. Think about it for a moment. Just for arguments sake OP could be on benefits and not allowed above a certain amount. That could be motivation to keep it in an envelope. She could have an ISA which already has the maximum allowance. Or god forbid there's a possibility she doesn't actually have a bank account. There can be various reasons people would have an amount of cash at home. Just because you can't think of any doesn't mean OP doesn't have a reason legitimate to her.

I have a safe. It only looks obvious if it's put in an obvious place. You can get disguised ones these days even your partner wouldn't suss. Nobody rummaging through my place would know I had a safe because it's concealed in the least obvious location.

Money is from crime??

This happened to me. I found it about a year later in a 'safe' place.

Or cash in hand earnings? (To avoid tax)

Or as @ShakespearesBlister indicated it sounds like another reason is to avoid losing any benefits.

In any of these cases I guess the price paid for dodgy behaviour is the ease with which the cash can be stolen/lost/destroyed

Yes I'm definitely trying to be extra careful with what I've still got. I was thinking of a safe but thought that it looks too obvious that you've got something worth locking up.
I'm open to ideas on how to look after the rest of it.*

Bank ??*

There are lots of reasons OP might not want it in a bank. Yes, it could be from crime, undeclared income, be to keep savings below a certain amount because of benefits. But could also be a fear of banks, being bad with money, not having a bank account, having debts. Some people just keep cash in their home. When my Grandma died we found cash all over the place hidden in numerous separate locations. It's not really any of my business though and not really the point of the thread.

Think back to where you were when you last counted it, were you sitting down, was it dark or light outside...did the phone ring or door bell and you put it down on your way to answer? Did you go to make a cup of tea mid count? Check the pockets of what you wore ie jacket, hoodie, jeans. Check plant containers, behind the curtain etc.

Sometimes we get distracted and put things in an obvious place at that time..but then forget we got distracted and its no longer in an obvious place!

I knew someone years ago who lost about 5k in an envelope. She pulled the house apart. Found it a few years later down the back of her bookcase, hadn't hit the floor but had wedged between the bookcase and leg of bookcase.

Dodgy. Who has thousands in an envelope lying around?

Why is it dodgy taxpayer1 ? There's many reasons people keep large amounts of cash in the house. I once kept a high 5 figure amount in my bedroom for a year. Ther was nothing dodgy, about it!

UK has an advanced banking system. There is no reason to keep cash in a house except for dodgy reasons. And it is very dangerous too.

I agree. I can't think of any sensible (non dodgy ) reasons to keep vast amounts of cash at home where it is far less secure and you cant earn any interest on it

Ok, that’s just me.
But each time that I’ve changed the spot of something precious, I seem to be loosing stuff.
Usually it’s because the new spot is actually so ‘not where I would normally put it’ that I can’t find it again

I have been known to tell DH he must have moved stuff too…

A very good post.

Both my husband and I are the type to hand in any money we found and say if we've been given too much change. In fact we did it in New York once to a very bemused waitress. Neither of us would think it was the other in the op's situation. We would also be helping to search the house.

Your first reason is benefit fraud, the second makes no sense.

Do we need to keep going on about why it's in the house??? It's not going to make the money reappear.

My DH often gets paid cash for gardening jobs in the summer so we've always got an envelope full of cash. Nearest bank is 45 mins away. Its not dodgy....

OP, if you haven't outright asking DP if he's taken it but he's now sullen and defensive, I'd be wary. However I would move everything in that room, drawers out, everything off the wall.

Who comments on a thread without actually reading it?

Not to you it doesn't. But it might to other people. I have thousands in an envelope. It's not dodgy and it's not anyone else's business. It's up to me where I choose to keep it.

Agreed. The only people on the thread it seems dodgy to are the ones who probably haven't got wads of money. Funny that. I suppose envy tends to make you suspicious of other people's good fortune 🤣

Or tax evasion :)

Or you could say the only people that don't see it as dodgy are other dodgy people with cash in hand jobs and a lot of cash envelopes in the house.

Such as what - Illegal income you don't want to declare?
Too much savings affecting your benefits?

My money is in savings accounts and bonds etc not envelopes where it can get lost or stolen. The only people I know who still use a lot of cash are those doing cash in hand work or something illicit