Just that really !
I am middle aged and been single for 4 years.
My last relationship was awful but I don't think I'll ever feel the way I felt or the love I felt for him for anyone else . I don't "fancy" people often . I absolutely loved the very bones of the man but he abusive and I had to leave for self preservation.
He has moved on (very quickly- within 3 months he was living with someone after online dating )
I tried dating . Never really hit it off with anyone and the two brief flings I had were short lived . Now I really cannot be arsed .
I've signed up for a new hobby .
I'm very happy and content as I am . I love my pets and have friends . Work is fine .
But i go to work and everyone is talking about their husbands or getting engaged and I just wonder how you ever meet anyone who would want to marry you ?
I was married once and have grown up kids . My marriage was one of convenience and while we got along as friends there was no romance or physical attraction.
My last relationship was all about physical attraction and I couldn't believe my luck when it was reciprocated. But it wasn't enough. (He was a twat to me 85% of the time ) and I walked away one day when I realised it would never change .
Now I'm ageing, a few health niggles , a bit of weight gain , menopausal, and I have given up . It's not that I'm not content in my life - I am - but I'm sort of in awe of anyone who finds that elusive spark , who meets someone they want to share a bed with or have sex with , or spend time with or who would want to spend time with them (me!)
I didn't think I was particularly hard to get along with , I'm quite happy go lucky and easy going , I'm not bad looking, (better with a stone off!) dress well, look after my appearance, am independent and financially self sufficient.
Normal happiness- relationship wise just feels completely out of my reach .
I've been chatting to a bloke online who seems really lovely but after 3 years of online dating - I darent meet him. I'm scared to do it . I've put a stone on . I think he's given up as no messages today and I am actually ok with that - I've had a gazillion first dates . Nothing dreadful apart from one nutter but I just cannot be arsed anymore. I'd rather spend Saturday night in my oodie in bed watching telly with a glass of wine and a curled up dog than faff with make up and hair .
A year ago I was way more attractive anyway .
I'm just left here scratching my head about how anyone meets someone they like enough to meet again , and the whole live with someone, engagement and marriage thing just feels about a million miles away - I think I might be past it . I'm only gonna get older and fatter and I've only ever fancied my ex .....
I keep wondering how he just moved on ?
At work there are engagements and marriages and I'm like - how's that even happen ?
I feel a pang of envy . I feel after 4 years alone im probably going to stay that way . Just a hunch . But im usually right with my hunches .