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Original poster

Am I being ridiculous - a little perspective please, wise women

119 replies

RunningInTheFamily · 01/02/2023 20:09

I've been seeing a guy for a very short while, started messaging before Christmas and met up shortly after. We've had 4 dates.
During this time, I've heard all about the celebrity women he fancies. Quite a lot. Not really relevant to bring up really I don't think, but I'm happy to be told I'm being silly.

One instance we were messaging about our evening and he said he was watching a film with a particular actress in it and said "oh shit, it looks like I've got a thing for X again!" Which I thought was odd. Another he's spoken about several times. Last night was a pretty big gush about this woman. So I said "yes, I get you like her, you've told me before" he then went on (as if trying to persuade me to agree almost) to talk about how much of an amazing actress she is, how he really respects her work/music and generally how amazing she is.

We sort of had words about it, because while I completely understand everyone finds other people attractive, it's not really something I'd like to hear this often after such a short time! It made me feel a bit shit.

He does compliment me, but this talking about female celebs has just got to me. I don't have the best opinion of myself physically and he knows this.

Am I being an idiot? Please be honest .

OP posts:
Veryverycalmnow · 02/02/2023 20:51

He sounds so cringe. You can and will do better than you date this childish man.

Tilllly · 02/02/2023 20:55

Closetbeanmuncher · 02/02/2023 20:13

He sends selfies pretty much every day

Yeah that alone would have made my lady garden seal itself shut.

Good-day Sir 🏃‍♀️

🤣🤣🤣🤣

This!

Hooverthestairs · 02/02/2023 23:14

Second hand ick. If you hadn't said this guy is 41 in updates, I'd assume he was 15.

Get rid. Have you had the phone call yet?

FangsForTheMemory · 02/02/2023 23:26

He sounds fucking dull to me. YOU should be the main attraction to him.

Reclaimtheoutdoors · 03/02/2023 00:55

Agree with everyone else. He’s negging you. I had a similar experience recently with someone I met online that I was meant to go on a dateup with later this month. He decided to tell me that woman of xx ethnicity had great figures. I asked him why he shared that with me and he said it was something he just noticed. He then told me about a woman on his course who asked him out for coffee.
He also asked for photos too which I refused.

it’s all about trying to break you down, triggering your insecurities, slowly gaining control of you and then gaslighting you the whole time when you point things out.

These kind of men men all the same tired & toxic pattern.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 03/02/2023 07:51

@Reclaimtheoutdoors What sort of photos?

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 03/02/2023 07:53

it’s all about trying to break you down, triggering your insecurities, slowly gaining control of you and then gaslighting you the whole time when you point things out.

I wish I knew why men do this and why they can't simply be normal and develop a good relationship. Why is a good relationship in their books what any normal person would call toxic?

Original poster
RunningInTheFamily · 03/02/2023 12:12

Just remembered I was also told during a conversation about his boss that he had apparently once given her oral sex. I'd had a drink at the time so prob didn't fully register what had been said properly. It's just come back to me.
What is the motivation behind telling me that??

Jesus Christ

OP posts:
iamjustwinginglife · 04/02/2023 00:07

Please don't give him any further thought. He's a player...don't play!!

BrightSaturn · 04/02/2023 00:27

Is it scarlet johansson?

Gamezup · 04/02/2023 03:02

He sounds a complete immature twat. Do you really want to have these sorts of conversations with him for the rest of your life? I couldn't put up with all that tosh! He sounds like a 14 year old schoolboy. Get rid.

Craftycorvid · 04/02/2023 17:41

Oh no no no no nooooo! A thousand times no. Is he 12!? Bin. Now! He gets worse with every update. Childish. In love mainly with himself. Thinks he is a player. 🤮

BlastedPimples · 05/02/2023 07:56

Such a boring man.

AnnaTortoiseshell · 05/02/2023 10:04

Good god OP. I would have had to buy a new phone from vomiting all over it the second he sent me a daily selfie. Also the thing about his boss? Totally made up. What a sad little man. So glad you dodged this one!

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 07/02/2023 12:26

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11710047/The-guy-dating-keeps-telling-younger-celebs-fancies.html

I just spotted the story on the Daily Mail site ...

Gamezup · 07/02/2023 15:36

I wonder if the fella (or boy!) the OP is referring to reads the

Gamezup · 07/02/2023 15:36

...Daily Mail!! Sorry, pressed send too soon just then!

DontStopMeNow7 · 07/02/2023 16:08

LampHat · 01/02/2023 20:38

It’s a bit like negging isn’t it? I think he’s putting you in your place. He knows what he’s doing. I’d be outta there OP 🙁

This

Thats what I was thinking. Or early triangulation in a relationship.

Regardless, you don’t like it so I’d ditch him sooner rather than later.

Original poster
RunningInTheFamily · 07/02/2023 18:54

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 07/02/2023 12:26

Oh wonderful 🙄

OP posts:
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